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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25065526">False Promises (and how to keep them)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/beautifulmask/pseuds/beautifulmask'>beautifulmask</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The 100 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Age Difference but not by that much, Alternate Universe - Firefly Fusion, Alternate Universe - Space, Angst and Humor, Canon-Typical Violence, Clarke's questionable reasoning, Criminal Clarke Griffin, Dubious Morality, F/F, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Royal Lexa (The 100), Secret Identity, Slow Burn, Space Shenanigans</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 03:00:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>56,869</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25065526</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/beautifulmask/pseuds/beautifulmask</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke Griffin is a down on her luck outlaw in a desperate need of money when she meets Lexa; young rich aristocrat who is practically begging to be duped, Clarke believes she might have finally caught a break.<br/>Lexa is traveling under an alias; desperate to remain hidden and to get home safely and she most certainly shouldn't let herself fall in love with her mysterious travel companion.  </p><p>Or that Clexa space!au in a slightly firefly setting that literally nobody asked for.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Clarke Griffin &amp; Lexa, Clarke Griffin/Lexa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>157</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>277</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. You’re Safe With Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I finally have time to write again and with this story I want to create something fun and exciting. I hope you'll have as much fun reading it as I had writing it.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alone on a planet full of people who wanted her dead, no friends, little to no resources, odds of making it out alive so low that no sane person would bet on her. Fortunately, finding ways to survive impossible situations was Clarke Griffin's specialty. </p>
<p>She would find a way to leave this dumb, dusty, useless fucking rocks filled planet, she just needed a new plan, and an obscene amount of luck, to pull it off. So she did what any good down on her luck criminal in such a situation would do; she went to find a bar.</p>
<p>Unfortunatly apparently  the universe wasn't done fucking with her for the day and decided to shove a wanted poster of her right in her face. The sight of it made Clarke roll her eyes when she first noticed it upon taking a seat at the bar. It was only up on the interactive screen behind the bar for a minute before changing to another face of a wanted criminal and Clarke barely glanced over the information when the age tag caught her eye. <em>Clarke Griffin, age 27…</em></p>
<p>That couldn't have been right. She couldn't be over 25! Brief check of the date at the corner of the screen made Clarke grimace, time truly was a merciless bitch. Funnily enough it seemed that her birthday passed by just two days ago without her noticing. To be fair to Clarke, she had been a little preoccupied trying not to die inside a burning shuttle to notice. </p>
<p>At least the bartender served her without any fuss, blissfully unaware that her face was once again blinking at them from over his shoulder. Clarke thoughtfully played with her freshly dyed hair. Long deeply red hair wasn't really the look she liked on herself, but it was better to be cautious now that things were going to shit. And if people were looking for a blond woman, suddenly being a redhead could give her the extra second she needed to either run or shoot first. </p>
<p>The fact that her wanted add was showing up every ten minutes or so was also a tell tell sign that she was in trouble. That wasn't supposed to happen anymore. The call for her arrest was three years old now so the algorithms should mostly be skipping over it at this point… So why was it blinking up every ten minutes next to the most wanted criminals in the verse? </p>
<p>Clarke suppressed a defeeted groan and the need to knock her own head against the bar when it hit her. The Trelinskis must have been behind her sudden fame. Meaning that if one of the corrupt officers actually managed to catch her she wouldn't be seeing the inside of a cell. </p>
<p>It was all very unfair in her opinion. How was it Clarke’s fault the job went south? She had a solid plan. She risked her life for money and glory, only to get chased and shot at by strange ships that weren’t supposed to be there and that somehow managed to set a whole other ship on fire in the outer atmosphere, it was a classical case of being at the wrong place at the wrong time if you asked her.  </p>
<p>Unfortunately, to pull said job she had to borrow a shuttle from the head of a crime family, promising them a big cut of the profits… Now there was no shuttle and the prize was on it's merry way off world, leaving Clarke stranded with no resources to speak of.</p>
<p>Despite all of this Clarke wasn't terribly worried about her well being. Yes, things weren't great. But she was Clarke Fucking Griffin and she still had options. All she needed was to find the right mark. </p>
<p>She had been sitting at the bar for over an hour, toying with her glass while carefully observing all of the other patrons. No-one quite right. Her eyes were just leaving a forty-something man in a knock off coat who, despite his best attempts to look otherwise, probably didn't have an extra dime to his name, when the main door swung open and a petite girl with loose dark hair walked in. </p>
<p>Her clothing might’ve been simple but it's quality didn't escape Clarke’s notice, the materials used were good, no signs of patchwork, and her boots, albeit a bit muddy, had a solid quality to them not often found in poor rundown ports such as this one. The girl was glancing around herself nervously, her wide eyes reminded Clarke of a spooked animal. She was perfect. </p>
<p>“Just some water, thank you.”</p>
<p>“She meant coffee.” Clarke interjected, the bartender glanced between them, Clarke smirked as the girl glared.</p>
<p>“Coffee coming up,” the man mumbled with a semi-apologetic shrug to the girl. </p>
<p>“This is where you thank me.” Clarke announced, taking a seat on a stool closer to her new friend, bringing her almost empty tumbler along as her most cherished possession.</p>
<p>The girl glared daggers at her. She was young, couldn't have been over twenty and so angry with Clarke already.</p>
<p>“Why would I do such a thing?” The young woman with porcelain skin asked.</p>
<p>Even her voice dripped with hostility but Clarke’s smile didn't waver. “Because It's basically radioactive in these parts. The locals can handle it. You though, you’ll be lucky if you only get as sick as a dog, kid.” She shrugged, it was something everyone knew, the girl was clearly far from home if she didn’t. </p>
<p>“And the coffee?” her new friend asked, tone going from murderous to annoyed, which Clarke counted as a victory.</p>
<p>“Tastes like the synthetic shit it is; it's warm though. So it was coffee or spirits. And I don't want you puking on my shoes.”</p>
<p>The girl scoffed again, but didn't rise to the challenge to order a drink when the bartender poured her cup of coffee. So she wasn't completely stupid. </p>
<p>“Why do you assume that I’m not local?” she asked, frowning down at the cup. Both of her hands had wrapped around the mug, seeking either warmth or reassurance, possibly both. She was nervous and obviously out of place. It made Clarke wonder who let this child on her own in a place like this, she was as good as dead.</p>
<p>“You have a duffle bag and you’re in the Docks instead of the main city, it doesn't take a genius.” In addition to those thousand other little things that Clarke didn't feel like listing. “Where are you heading?” she asked instead. It turned out to be the wrong thing to say because instead of loosening up and talking, the girl locked down even farther.</p>
<p>“If you don't mind, I'd rather be left alone,” she replied coldly.</p>
<p>“Sure, sorry…” Clarke kept smiling. “You just seem a bit lost is all, reminded me of a younger me really, I wanted to help.”</p>
<p>“I'm fine, thank you.” Her mark answered politely but with a hint of dismissal to it.</p>
<p>Clarke didn't want to press too hard, with a shrug she moved herself to a table further away and ordered something to eat. Underneath her calm exterior she was seething. She wanted to be nice, talk the girl into getting a plus one ticket to wherever she was going and have her unwittingly help smuggle Clarke off this dirty planet. But if she didn't want to cooperate, Clarke would settle for taking her money and hoping that one of the cargo ships in the docks would take on an unofficial passenger for the right price. </p>
<p>Clarke watched the girl eat dinner. She looked at the heated up nutri-slop with so much distaste that Clarke actually laughed out loud. The girl’s head snapped up, angrily glaring in Clarke's direction, Clarke saluted back with her empty glass. </p>
<p>As the evening progressed, the bar got louder and more crowded. When the mark finally finished with her meal, there wasn't a single empty table and Clarke was sharing with a couple of dock workers. She face-palmed when the girl unwittingly paid with actual cash, flashing the crisp notes to everyone around as she counted off the precise sum and pocketed the rest. If nobody else targeted her now, it would be a small miracle. </p>
<p>And sure enough, as soon as the girl left, two men followed after her. Clarke sighed, “Fucking vultures.” She hurriedly left through the back exit, checking her coat pockets for spare bullets fruitlessly. With only the four rounds left in her handgun, she would have to stick to knives after that. </p>
<p>It was already dark, only light coming from the few small windows leading to the back alley. Clarke’s steps were measured and confident. She has eavesdropped on the girl asking the barmaid about a place to stay earlier so she knew that her target was going to a boarding house. And years of experience told her exactly which street the men would pick for the mugging, unfortunately for them Clarke wasn't willing to share her prize. </p>
<p>She arrived just in time. As she rounded the corner she could see the rich girl get confronted by muggers in the middle of the alley. </p>
<p>“Move and you’re dead!” “Give us your money!” They shouted over each other, waving knives in the girls face. </p>
<p>“How is she supposed to not move and give you her money?” Clarke asked, cocking her gun. She continued to walk closer as she spoke. “You really want to give clear directions in this sort of situations. Otherwise people can get confused or panic - and that's usually when things get bloody.” She could practically see the dilemma swirling in their minds, they had knives, she had a gun, but the girl with all that cash was much closer to them and partially blocking Clarke’s aim.  “Don't do anything stupid, I'm a good shot. Just back the fuck off.” She warned, hoping to scare them into surrendering their catch.</p>
<p>The thing was, she really didn't want to shoot. If she did the uniforms would get called and that would complicate everything. It was why her original plan was to wait for the girl to go to sleep and then take everything she owned, classy and discrete.</p>
<p>Suddenly one of the men moved, grabbing for the girl, whether to hide behind or use her as a hostage remained unclear because the girl followed his movement, grabbing onto his hand and somehow flipping him over her head and onto the ground in one fluent motion. Clarke’s finger froze on the trigger, having been ready to shoot him before he could hurt the girl, who was now twisting the attackers arm in a painful grip, the man actually howling in pain. It was all incredibly hot actualy. </p>
<p>Clarke's momentary distraction sadly gave the other mugger the time he needed to dig out his own gun and point it to the girl's head. </p>
<p>Clarke pulled the trigger reflexively, shooting the gun right out of his hand with a loud bang. Then she jumped forward and sucker punched him before he could make any more problems. He crumpled to the ground unconscious as Clarke glanced back at the girl. She still had the first man twitching in her grip. </p>
<p>“Nice job, kid, knock him out and let's get out of here.” Clarke ordered cheerfully, while quickly collecting the scattered weaponry.</p>
<p>“Knock him out?” the girl whispered, sounding somewhat panicked over the idea.</p>
<p>“Fucking bitch!” the man shouted, still pointlessly struggling to get loose.</p>
<p>“You wanna kill him instead?” Clarke asked curiously over her shoulder. She has just knelt down by the unconscious man, searching for his wallet. He probably didn't have much but Clarke didn't even have enough money for her next meal so she wasn't above anything. </p>
<p>“No, I… What are you doing?” Clarke couldn't see the girls face but the outrage was clear in her voice.</p>
<p>“Nothing,” she answered innocently, stepping away from the unconscious mugger. The man’s cash already safely in her own pocket, the girl didn't need to know that however. Speaking of the girl, she still didn't knock out her attacker or harm him in any other way. In fact she looked just as scared as he was. Clarke sighed. <em>Have to do everything myself.</em></p>
<p>“Move.” Clarke growled, dropping down to position herself to be shoulder to shoulder with the girl and take her place as soon as the girl released her hold. When they traded places Clarke wrapped her arm around the man's neck, choking him just enough so he'd pass out for a few minutes. “What are you doing? Let him go!”</p>
<p>“He’ll be fine!” Clarke grunted, fighting to keep her hold as the man slowly stopped struggling. She let go. “Let's get out of here, the uniforms will be here soon.”  For a second Clarke worried that the little goodie, goodie would want to wait for the law, but as luck would have it, the girl suddenly seemed just as eager to leave. </p>
<p>By the time they reached the boarding house they were both out of breath. Clarke leaned against the wall, greedily sucking in the crisp air. “I don't think anyone followed us.”</p>
<p>“Who would follow us?” The girl asked.</p>
<p>“The police, the robbers, someone else you attracted when you went flashing money around like some kind of royalty? Honestly, you’re lucky those two were idiots, this could’ve ended with you dead!” Clarke was almost shouting by the end, outraged by the sheer stupidity.</p>
<p>“I can handle myself!” The girl protested.</p>
<p>“Oh yeah? And what would you have done if they just shot you and took the money off of your corpse?” Clarke hissed. As soon as the words left her mouth she realized that she probably should be trying to get the girl to trust her, not upsetting her but she was too tired to control herself. For her own part the girl was frozen. She looked away from Clarke actually seeming embarrassed. Silence stretched between them, Clarke was about ready to break it, when the girl surprised her once again. </p>
<p>“You’re right, I…  I’m sorry, I don't think I’ve caught your name?”</p>
<p>“Clarke.”</p>
<p>“I’m Lexa, thank you for your help, Clarke.” Lexa then offered her hand, she looked so damn earnest. Clarke accepted the offer, shaking Lexa’s hand firmly and pointedly ignoring the weak voice of continence that was currently yelling at her to keep this innocent baby safe. </p>
<p>“So are you admitting that you could use the help of someone who’s been around the block?”</p>
<p>“What are you suggesting?” Lexa questioned. </p>
<p>“You’re traveling somewhere, right? I could help get you there safely, for a small fee of course. I could use the work and you won't get killed.” </p>
<p>Lexa eyed her for a long moment, her face unreadable. It was one of those moments Clarke loved and hated at the same time, the moment that would tell if her trick worked. Sometimes it came after months of planning, like the moment she enters the code to the vault, praying for its validity, or when uninformed officer checks her fake ID codes for the first time, right now it was the question of whether she would get to travel comfortably on someone else’s dime or if she’d have to take Lexa’s money and leave her to fend for herself that very night.</p>
<p>Lexa cocked her head, giving Clarke an unimpressed once-over. “So what, you are offering to be my bodyguard?”</p>
<p>“Bodyguard, babysitter… whatever you want to call it. I’ll keep you out of trouble but I'm not gonna be waiting on you or polishing your fucking shoes.”</p>
<p>“In exchange for me paying for the journey and additional fee for your services when it's over…” Lexa added, eyeing her suspiciously. </p>
<p>Yeah she wasn't buying it, Clarke would have to-</p>
<p>“Can you leave in the morning?”</p>
<p>“I can leave right now.” Clarke patted the small backpack that was loosely hanging off her shoulder, her body suddenly lighter with relief.</p>
<p>Lexa looked at the bag, genuinely mystified. “Is that all you have?”</p>
<p>“Not all of us are fucking rich.” Clarke huffed, it wasn't like Lexa’s duffle bag was that much larger anyway. Why was someone with a lot of cash traveling so light? It was probably better if Clarke didn't know. </p>
<p>Lexa considered her answer, nodding her head she motioned for Clarke to follow her. “Alright, I’ll check us in.” Then she hesitated. “Assuming we have a deal?”</p>
<p>Clarke offered her hand. Lexa seemed like the type to want to keep it official. The handshake was firm and brief and it reminded Clarke of all the broken promises she had behind her, this would be another one.</p>
<p>“You’ll be safe with me, kid you have my word,” lied Clarke with a smile on her face. </p>
<p>With their deal “finalized” they entered the boarding house, Clarke hung behind Lexa as she requested a room for the two of them. She was a little surprised that Lexa offered to share space with her so willingly. The kid was way too trusting for her own good.</p>
<p>The room was small, but relatively clean and Clarke was just happy to be able to claim an actual bed. She groaned at the softness of it but before she could make herself comfortable she caught Lexa making a face. </p>
<p>“Did you want the bed by the window? It's really easy for someone to break in through it so it's probably safer if I take it.”</p>
<p>“No, that's fine.”</p>
<p>“Well then, why the long face?”</p>
<p>Lexa looked uncomfortable, “You might want to take a shower before getting your dirt all over the place. ”</p>
<p>Clarke raised her brow, she washed up just that morning before she thoroughly mucked up her hair with the red-sludge to change its color.  “What dirt?”</p>
<p>Lexa only heavily sighed in response, making Clarke roll her eyes.</p>
<p>“This is the Rim, you’ll see  a lot worse than me in these parts. Especially if you want to travel anywhere further, Fila might not look like much to you but it's the epitome of civilization as far as the Rim is concerned.” Clarke would pay good money to see this fancy child survive a day at one of the newly terraformed planets with the first settlers.</p>
<p>“I've read a lot about the Rim before coming here.” </p>
<p>Clarke snorted over Lexa’s statement, she couldn't imagine anything nice being said about the Rim.  “So what, reading about poor people living in dirt and fighting for resources is the new rage at the nice and safe core planets of the Coalition? Wanted to see for yourself if we’re all completely uncivilized?” Clarke was suddenly so angry with Lexa, she was very obviously one of the spoiled rich kids Clarke grew up around and now hated with passion. </p>
<p>“I never really thought about it like that, no.”  Lexa’s voice was sad and quiet and it effectively smothered the fire of Clarke’s anger. “I am sorry if I offended you, earlier as well as now. I don’t, I had a…. I came here for a job that didn't work out. Though I assure you; my intentions were by no means to mock you or your way of life.You were right earlier. I could use the help of someone who is kind and perceptive like you. The Ancestors know that I won’t find my way to Polis without assistance.”</p>
<p>“Polis?”</p>
<p>Polis wasn't just a core planet. It was The Planet. The effective center of the Coalition of Worlds. It was where the mythical royal family lived and made executive decisions when the coalition council couldn’t reach one. The day princess Luna would take the throne, even someone living as far off as Clarke would hear every detail about it for months.</p>
<p>“Yes, will that be a problem?” Lexa asked in her no nonsense tone which for some reason irritated Clarke severely. </p>
<p>“Not at all, I can get you to your fancy royal planet no problem.” Clarke lied, having no intention of even trying to do it. “Just wondering what could you possibly want there?”</p>
<p>“I’m meeting someone there about another job.” </p>
<p>“Huh so what do you do?”</p>
<p>“Uhh I'm a teacher.”</p>
<p>Clarkes brows shot up, “First you get posted all the way out here and now they want you in Polis?” Lexa flushed. “It's a bit more complicated. The job there isn't certain but a friend of a friend knows about a position, I just need to get there as soon as possible.”  “Let me guess the royal family needs help with homework?”</p>
<p>Lexa didn't bother to respond to the teasing, although Clarke could see a small smirk tugging on her lips. </p>
<p>“Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be any direct flights from here to Polis.” </p>
<p>Clarke nodded. “Not even if you could afford to rent out a whole ship yourself.” She went on to explain. “Folks don't just happen to live on the Rim because they like the danger of unsettled planets. Most people live here to avoid everything the Coalition stands for.”</p>
<p>“That includes you?”</p>
<p>Damn Clarke certainly shouldn't have let that one slip. She’d take care to be more on guard when talking to Lexa, the girl had a way of distracting her into talking without even trying. </p>
<p>“I'm not a fan no.” </p>
<p>“May I ask why?”</p>
<p>“Because they are a bunch of controlling motherfuckers.”</p>
<p>“Very eloquent,” Lexa smirked at her.</p>
<p>Resisting the urge to steal her stuff and leave Lexa behind during the night would be Clarke’s next great challenge. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>~~~oOoOo~~~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>She couldn't see anything through the smoke. Coughing and stumbling after the strong hand gripping her wrist she could hear the screams and laser blasters making their way through the bowels of the ship. Gustusse’s words breaking through it all, “Get into the shuttle and go, we’ll buy you some time…”</em>
</p>
<p>Lexa woke up with a gasp. Tears were streaming down her face and her heart was beating much too fast. She was safe -ish in a boarding house at the docks on a small mining planet called Fila. She was sharing a room with a girl named Clarke, who had red hair, a gun, two knives hidden on her person and very rough manners. Despite all that she selflessly came to Lexa’s aid the previous evening. Not that Lexa really needed it, she would've dealt with the attackers on her own just fine, thank you very much.</p>
<p>Lexa didn't really know why she accepted Clarke’s offer to accompany her on the journey to Polis. On one hand, it was true that she had no experience in arranging her own travel or how things were done around these parts of the universe. On the other hand, the less people she dragged into her mess the better. It minimized the risk for her being captured as well as them getting hurt.</p>
<p>So why did she say yes? Truthfully, because something about that woman bothered her. The way Clarke was ready and eager to join Lexa on her journey, without even knowing where they were going, the fresh cuts on her cheek and hands… Clarke was scared or at least running from something. Lexa would always wonder what happened to her had she declined to take her along. Besides if they were looking for her alone she could make herself seem less suspicious by traveling with a companion. Or maybe nobody was looking for her, maybe they believed that she died when the ship exploded.</p>
<p>The young traveller was still curled up in bed, mulling over her situation when she heard a rustling of sheets from Clarke’s bed. Was Clarke awake? Lexa hoped that her nightmare wasn't so loud as to wake her.  Clarke already called her a child often enough having her actually see that she was right by seeing Lexa cry in her sleep was a mortifying thought. </p>
<p>She could see the shadow of Clarke’s figure raised by the window. “Can’t sleep either?” Lexa asked quietly.  Clarke probably hasn't realized that Lexa was awake, if the fact that she tripped just when Lexa spoke and the stream of curses that followed were anything to go by. </p>
<p>Lexa had to suppress a laugh at the profanities half shouted into the dark. “Are you alright?” she asked and to be helpful turned on the lamp at her bedside.  Clarke was the picture of rumpled sleepiness,  her hair was sticking in all the wrong directions and she reminded Lexa of a lion cub. </p>
<p>“You can't just do that!” Clarke hissed.</p>
<p>“Do what?”</p>
<p>“Sneak up on me like that.”</p>
<p>“I’m in bed, how did I sneak up on you?”</p>
<p>“Shut up,” Clarke grumbled and, having finally collected herself from the surprise, turned back to the window to crack it open. Lexa hasn't realized just how stale the air in their room was until the cold breeze reached her.</p>
<p>Lexa didn't try to talk to Clarke again, instead she waited for the girl to get back to bed to turn off the light. </p>
<p>Soon Clarke’s breathing became soft and rhythmical again it was calming, in its own way but Lexa knew that she wouldn't be able to go back to sleep herself. Her mind was too full of disturbing images for that. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw the people who died in the past few days. It was fascinating how quickly life could change and she was left wondering what else faith had in store for her before she made it to Polis.</p>
<p>~~~~~~~</p>
<p>Clarke woke up shortly after sunrise and was much more pleasant than when she got up the first time around. She even attempted to pull Lexa into chatter all through their breakfast, in what Lexa supposed, passed for a dining room at one of the lower floors of the boardinghouse. Lexa enjoyed listening to Clarke’s voice, but that didn’t mean that she could talk to Clarke about anything actually relevant.To keep herself from accidentally letting something slip she simply resolved to say as little as possible in general.</p>
<p>“No.” </p>
<p>“What never? Come on, you had to have had SYCHT's as a kid!” </p>
<p>Clarke’s outrage was evident but it was too late for Lexa to pretend that she knew what the infernal sweets Clarke was so hung up on were. She shrugged, hoping that Clarke would go back to grading types of local coffee by their disgustingness.  No such luck.</p>
<p>“Are you a robot? Some hyper realistic robot, created to serve the Coalition and blend in perfectly with the population? Legally you have to tell me if you are a robot!”</p>
<p>“I don’t think that that is a real rule, Clarke.”  Lexa replied, carefully suppressing her smile at Clarke’s ridiculousness.</p>
<p>“The lack of denial on the robot part is very suspicious.”</p>
<p>“I assure you that I am not a robot. Then again, if I was, I'd say exactly that…”</p>
<p>Clarke’s answering laugh was a beautiful sound, Lexa felt the heat of satisfaction rising in her chest  from making it happen. It also led to a realization that staying solemn around Clarke might prove to be much more difficult than she originally thought. </p>
<p>“But seriously, what kid doesn't love SYCHT's, it’s like the most classic treat in the ‘verse?!” Clarke cried.</p>
<p>“We didn't really eat candy.” Lexa said casually, hoping that she guessed correctly that it actually was some kind of sweet from the little context Clarke gave her. Clarke was still looking at her like she grew another head. </p>
<p>“Even monasteries have them! Where the hell did you grow up?”</p>
<p>“I thought that we’ve already established that I was created in a lab.” Lexa replied with all the seriousness she could muster. She was famous for her ability to remain cold and emotionless but teasing Clarke was proving to be surprisingly challenging to those skills. It was probably the sleep deprivation making her giddy, nothing to do with the pretty girl across from her. “If you are quite done here we should get going, we need to find out if the ship I booked yesterday can add you as my plus one.”</p>
<p>“You already picked a ship?”</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>“Which one?”</p>
<p>“Achilles, it can take us to the space station City of Light and surely we can find something heading in the general area to Polis if not a direct flight.”</p>
<p>“Oh Lexa,” Clarke sighed. </p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“You’re so lucky you hired me!”</p>
<p>“I am?”</p>
<p>“Yes, because as your new friend I won't let you make the horrible mistake of traveling through C.L.”</p>
<p>“What’s wrong with the City of Light?”</p>
<p>“Oh, sweet Moons and Stars. When traveling you need to look at the larger picture and not just the location closest to where you are going…” Clarke shook her head. “First of all it’s a damn space station, really fancy one - I'll give you that, but after four months on Achilles you'll be going nuts from being in the deep and then getting locked up with million other people in a large fancy can will do nothing for your sanity. Plus the prices there are insane so getting a flight out of there with no connections will cost you a fortune and finally their security will scan and log every inch of you and if someone who resembles you has so much as an unpaid ticket, they will detain you for hours to make sure it's not you…”</p>
<p>Lexa’s blood ran cold. She didn't consider face recognition being used on her person instead of just the picture attached to her ID, if the wrong person found out…</p>
<p>“‘…and the quarters there, unless you are a VIP, are basically a mass grave full of the most smelly-”</p>
<p>“Okay, okay, what do you think would be the safest way to get to Polis, without getting detained?”</p>
<p>“We take the Spectator. It's a smaller ship going to Arkadia and it leaves tonight. It comes around with medical supplies once every two months and takes on passengers on the way back. </p>
<p>“Arkadia?” Lexa tried to recollect the map in her head. “That is not exactly in the directions of Polis.”</p>
<p>“Trust me it'll be much easier to go there in the long run.” Clarke insisted. “It might not be as advanced as your fancy space station but getting a ride from there will cost you less and we’re much less likely to run into any trouble.”</p>
<p>“And you are sure about this?”</p>
<p>Clarke looked her in the eyes and smiled. “I promised to keep you safe didn't I?”</p>
<p>Lexa did hire her for some reason so it was only right if she tried taking her advice. “Alright, we’ll go see if the Spectator has room for two more passengers.”</p>
<p>Clarke´s information proved correct. The Spectator was a smaller ship, in a good condition from what Lexa could tell and it was preparing to take off that night. One of it’s crew members was happy to give them a tour and later he barely glanced at Lexa’s ID when she paid for the journey.  She was to share a small cabin with Clarke for the next three weeks. Lexa wasn’t sure how she felt about being in close space with her for so long… It was a risk on many levels but Lexa was willing to admit to herself that she was a little excited to take them all and try to find out more about her. Clarke came off a bit rough in the less civilized manner that was to be expected, but she was kind and treated Lexa like a normal person. She represented the life Lexa could never have and Lexa found herself drawn to her just like a moth to a flame.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The Spectator</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>On the way to Arkadia Clarke and Lexa try to figure out how to put up with each other without revealing too much of their secrets.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This week's been very hectic and I fell behind on a lot of things but I've read and loved the comments, thank you all for the support and for returning to read the second chapter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lexa Smith was a no good, incredibly annoying, little shit and Clarke couldn’t wait to steal her money and ditch her. In fact she might get her on a flight to some mine at the very edge of the known universe first, just for the hell of it.</p><p>“Come on Clarke, it doesn’t look so bad!” Lexa, the little pest, insisted.</p><p>“Oh, fuck off!” Clarke huffed without sparing a glance in her direction.</p><p>“I really am sorry. I had no idea hair could burn like that.” Lexa repeated earnestly from the corner of the tiny cabin they shared.</p><p>“I told you that the candle was fucking stupid!” Clarke hissed, finally turning to face the girl.</p><p>Lexa frowned at that, overcoming some of that embarrassed humility momentarily. “Well, that’s a little uncalled for.”</p><p>“Uncalled for?” Clarke couldn't believe the nerve “You almost burned half my face off, not to mention it could’ve set fire to the whole ship!”</p><p>To Lexa’s credit, she didn't back away from Clarke’s anger likes most people would. Clarke considered it more of a show of stupidity and entitlement than actual bravery. Lexa dared to look in her eyes and try to defend herself. “I didn’t know the air vent was right next to the bunk, I actually think that it’s against the regulations for it to be-“</p><p>Clarke couldn't take any more of that and interrupted her, chuckling in disbelief. “The regulations? You’ve got to be kidding me! This is the edge of the known universe, regulations are stories you tell nervous newbies to make them sleep better. Everything you see here is probably originally from a different ship and shouldn’t be in circulation by your precious rules!”</p><p>The sight of Lexa, standing there struck dumb by the outburst, made Clarke feel somewhat satisfied, she turned back to look at herself in the small mirror again. Truth of the matter was that she got incredibly lucky, the fire only burned the sleeve of her  very old coat and solid chunk of her hair, it all whiffed of coal and burned leather now, much like the rest of the room, but no serious damage was done.</p><p>After a moment of consideration she thoughtfully tugged at the burned ends of her hair. “You’re going to have to cut my hair.” </p><p>Lexa paled. “A what now?”</p><p>“You broke it, you fix it, I can’t walk around like this.” Clarke said, letting go of her anger just as quickly as the fire ruined her coat, the sooner they fixed the problem the sooner she could go back to ignoring Lexa for the rest of the way. “You’re giving me a Bob cut”</p><p>“Who’s Bob?” Lexa asked, somewhat panicked. </p><p>It took Clarke almost twenty more minutes of badgering before Lexa agreed to even out her hair. But when Clarke offered her own knife for the task Lexa’s eyes widened.</p><p>“Clarke, I’m sure that there is at least one pair of scissors on this ship that we could borrow.”</p><p> “The knife will work fine! Quit stalling, I wanna get some sleep before breakfast.”</p><p>Lexa didn’t seem too sure about the matter. Clarke rolled her eyes. “I did it plenty of times on myself, it’s fine.”</p><p>Lexa sighed and then straightened her back, it was like something switched within her. The nervous energy suddenly gone, replaced with confident determination, it was a good look on her.</p><p>“Fine; take a seat.”</p><p>Clarke sat down, eyeing the new Lexa cautiously.</p><p>“What are you doing?” She asked when Lexa instead of getting to the hair cutting disappeared in to the tiny bathroom.</p><p>Lexa reemerged a few moments later, carrying a small basin full of water.  “If I'm doing this, I'm going to do it right. Your hair needs to be washed.”</p><p>“No, that’s fine, just-“</p><p>The younger woman wouldn't budge. “Let me do it my way or do it yourself.”</p><p>Clarke knew a lost fight when she saw one. Few moments later she found herself sitting with her head tilted back as Lexa card through it, gently washing it in the warm water. It was actually quite nice. Really nice. Clarke didn't realize how touch starved she’s been. Lexa’s nimble fingers massaging her scalp, like little glimpses of heaven. Clarke’s eyes were closed shut and she could purr in content when she realized what a bad idea it all was. Lexa wasn’t a friend or  a hairdresser or even just a fellow traveler, she was a target.</p><p>Suddenly the pleasantness of the intimacy was making her uncomfortable. She told herself that nothing about any of this was personal.</p><p>“Did you color your hair?” Lexa broke the silence, reminding Clarke why it wasn't great to be washing her hair in the first place. <em>Well fuck. </em></p><p>“Yeah, it was a spur of the moment decision,” she confirmed, somewhat truthfully.</p><p>“You’re losing most of the color but if you still have the dye…”</p><p>“It’s just temp color, don't worry about it, just get on with it.”</p><p>“As you wish.” Lexa handed her a towel to soak up the excess water while she went to dispose of the water. When she came back Clarke offered her the knife again, but Lexa shook her head and turned to her bunk. She returned holding her own blade. Clarke had noticed the knife earlier but didn't have a chance to get a closer look because Lexa liked to keep it concealed. It was shorter than Clarke’s knife, possibly a fancy throwing dagger. It would most likely sell well to the right people.</p><p>Lexa approached her again, slowly and broadcasting her movements as one would do to a spooked animal. Was she worried Clarke would freak out? It was a good guess because Clarke was profoundly uncomfortable with people approaching her with knives of any kind. But she had to wonder whether Lexa could somehow tell or if this simply was how she always acted when she held a blade. The second option made more sense. Lexa was a twenty-year old kid who most likely had the knife to open fancy paper letters. And now she would be set loose on the remains of Clarke’s hair. The spirits help her.</p><p>“Ready?” Lexa asked, steadily holding the knife by the first strand of Clark’s hair.</p><p>Clarke closed her eyes, “Yep.”</p><p> </p><p>~~~oOoOo~~~</p><p>“Done,” Lexa handed Clarke the small mirror. She never cut anyone’s hair before but considering that she could hardly make Clarke’s hair look worse, she gave it a shot.</p><p>Her newly almost blonde companion seemed happy enough with the results. She was twirling the small mirror and checking out the relatively even sides of her short hair. “You could make a living of this.”</p><p>“Hardly, you might need glasses,” Lexa answered with fake concern, masking her relief that she didn't mess up.</p><p>Clarke smiled slightly and shook her head. “I need sleep.”</p><p>Lexa nodded. It was well after midnight. <em>Are we okay? </em> She wanted to ask, but wouldn't allow herself. It didn't matter. Lexa went to bed without another word to her bunk-mate.</p><p>Clarke's bed was on top of hers and Lexa could hear her settling in. She listened to Clarke  breathing, patiently waiting for her to fall asleep. Lexa already knew that she wouldn't be able to sleep. She still felt bad for almost getting Clarke hurt because she put a candle in the wrong place. Clarke didn't seem to like her much before so this incident probably ruined everything for good. The idea that Clarke could be anything more than a travel companion was now laughable. Since they boarded the ship Clarke has deflected all of Lexa’s attempts at conversation about books or science or Clarke’s own life on the Rim. They were only traveling for four days and Clarke was already sick of her. Lexa didnt know why it was so important to her what Clarke though, it shouldn't matter, it didn't mater not compared to everything else but some part of her still cared.</p><p>It was made worse by the fact that Lexa was too nervous to talk to the other people on the ship. Despite the fact that pretty much everyone met at the cafeteria during meals. The crew only made up of around fifteen people who kept to themselves and the only other passenger beside Lexa and Clarke was an older woman who glared at Lexa every time she spoke. The captain did mention that there was one more passenger but Lexa hasn't seen any sign of him yet. Since the ship was rather small Lexa assumed that he hadn't left his bunk.</p><p>She laid with her eyes closed for about an hour before deciding to give up and go for a walk. The ship was dark and quiet. Lexa enjoyed the fact that her footsteps made no noise as she walked. She truly would’ve made a fine spy in a different life.</p><p>It surprised her to find another person awake so late, well early really. The lights were fully on in the kitchen and Lexa slipped in expecting to see the cook but instead encountered a tall man she didn't know.</p><p>He sat by the counter with a cup of tea and his eyes were glued to the screen of his touch pad, too absorbed in whatever he was reading to notice Lexa’s entrance. He was in his late thirties, his head was shaved which made for an interesting pattern of the kitchen light dancing on his skull. He was well built and reminded Lexa of the palace bodyguards she had seen countless  times in her life.</p><p>“A good book?” she ventured when a few more minutes passed without the man noticing her presence. He flinched and cursed, finally looking up and noticing Lexa. </p><p>“Sorry, I didn't expect anyone to be up at this hour…” His voice was deep but surprisingly gentle, it suited him.</p><p>Lexa smiled and shrugged. “Neither did I.”</p><p>He returned the smile.“I’ve been doing research in the mines, and there really isn't any day and night in space.”</p><p>“You mean except the agreed upon constructed time system designed for these journeys?”</p><p>“Exactly.” He smiled and extended his hand to Lexa. “I'm Lincoln Scott.”</p><p>“Lexa Smith,” she accepted his hand.</p><p>“It's a pleasure, would you like some tea, it’s from my personal supply.”</p><p>Lexa’s smile widened, the last time she had a proper cup of tea felt like a lifetime ago. “Please.”</p><p>“So what were you reading?” She asked as Lincoln went about the kitchen to produce another cup.</p><p>“Oh, it's actually a paper about the chemical changes in newly terraformed worlds.”</p><p>“Not the one by A. Wick?” She paused, recalling the text.</p><p>“You know it?”</p><p>Lexa almost grinned, finally something she could talk about truthfully.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>~~~~~~~</p><p>Lincoln was a scholar like Lexa and speaking to him was highly entertaining, they discussed the paper and continued to talk about Lincoln's work, with the brief break when the cook kicked them out of her kitchen with plates of toast saying that they were disturbing her morning with their chatter. They simply continued talking in the cafeteria where Clarke eventually found them.</p><p>Lexa almost didn't recognize her at first due to the change in appearances. With her long, formally red hair now replaced with short blonde, albeit still somewhat pink, cut ending by her chin, and for once she wasn't in her long coat. Instead wearing only the suddenly very notably well fitting pants and a tank top, Lexa’s jaw almost dropped when she took it all in. Not to say that Clarke wasn't pretty before. But now she took Lexa’s breath away in a way that hasn't happened in years and it took a kick from Lincoln under the table for her to realize that she was starring.</p><p>“Hi, Clarke. Did you sleep okay?” she stammered quickly, quietly praying that Clarke wouldn't notice her awkwardness.</p><p>“Well enough,”  her gaze shifted to Lincoln curiously. “Making new friends I see.”</p><p>“Lincoln Scott at your service Ma’am.” He introduced himself, much more formal than he was with Lexa earlier.</p><p>“Clarke.”</p><p>Lexa frowned, for the first time she realized that she never actually got Clarke’s last name. It would probably be a little hypocritical to demand it since she was using a fake name herself, but shouldn't she ask at some point? What if Clarke was offended that she hasn’t?  It was all such a mess.</p><p>“You’re military.” Clarke stated as she took a seat next to Lexa.</p><p>“Long time ago.” Lincoln replied. “How could you tell?”</p><p>“You can take the soldier out of the fight but not the oppression the Coalition beats into him.”</p><p>Lexa was offended by that new jab at the Coalition but Lincoln chuckled at the comment, “You served?”</p><p>“Very briefly, it turned out that I’m not good at taking orders.” Clarke replied easily.</p><p>Lexa frowned, Lincoln just found out more about Clarke in two minutes than she had in five days. How was that fair? What really made it sting was that before now she was free to believe that Clarke simply didn't like talking about herself, but apparently Clarke just didn't want to share with Lexa.</p><p>Lincoln and Clarke chatted briefly but Lincoln soon excused himself saying that he wanted to take a nap, leaving Lexa as Clarke’s company while she ate her breakfast.</p><p>“Is that why you hate the Coalition, your stay in the military?” She knew it was the wrong thing to say even as soon as the words left her mouth. Clarke’s expression darkened.</p><p>“I’d rather not talk about it.”</p><p>“And what would you like to talk about?”</p><p>“You owe me a new coat.”</p><p>“I mean the fire wasn't entirely my fault if you haven't tried to blow out my candle…” Lexa stopped talking. Clarke was already mad at her. Starting a fight now would be immature and childish and Lexa wouldn't be either of those things if she could help it. “The hair looks good,” she tried instead.</p><p>Clarke grumbled something in acknowledgment. Lexa’s own meal was finished but leaving Clarke would be rude and Lexa still had some manners left. Eating breakfast together in awkward silence was becoming their routine after all. Clarke was chatty that first day but then she sort of retracted to her shell once Lexa tried to find out more about her. At least now she could spend time thinking about the topics Lincoln brought up instead of trying and failing to make Clarke talk to her like they did their first morning together.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>~~~oOoOo~~~</p><p>On the fifth day on the Spectator, Lexa made a new friend and stopped pestering Clarke with questions about her and her life. It was great. Except that it was a problem. Lexa was spending all her time with the guy and ignoring Clarke entirely. He was a good looking man with military training and although he wasn't particularly charming he was a walking library which seemed to do it for Lexa. Clarke watched them closely whenever she could, her eyes burning into the man trying to guess what his intentions with Lexa were. Clarke knew better than to stop looking out for her interests and she would be damned if this “mister Lincoln Scott” fucked up things with Lexa somehow. </p><p>He didn't seem to be after the money but Clarke still felt uncomfortable with him hanging around Lexa with no boundaries. But how could she interfere without risking blowing her cover? And if he suddenly stopped talking to Lexa altogether the girl could get suspicious as well. She'd have to deal with the issue gently.</p><p>On the ninth day of their journey Clarke realized that there was one card she could play here  and cornered Lincoln in his cabin.</p><p>“We need to have a little chat.” She announced as she pushed past him into the his room it was disproportionaly bigger than the cabin she shared with Lexa which only served to annoy Clarke more.</p><p>“What's the matter, Clarke?” Lincoln asked, confused by her sudden appearance. Clarke didn't look at him too busy examining the room. He seemed to travel with a lot of crap but most of it seemed useless to Clarke. </p><p>“Do you know why I’m on this ship?”She finally turned to face him.</p><p>“To get to Arkadia?” he guessed. That was painfully right.</p><p>“Because Lexa hired me to help her.” Clarke replied coldly, finally facing Lincoln. “You and her have been spending a lot of time together.”</p><p>“We're friends,” he confirmed.</p><p>“Just friends?”</p><p>“What exactly are you implying, Clarke?”</p><p>Lincoln was taller than her but Clarke didn't have any problem stepping into his space threateningly.  “I know how lonely space gets, especially for someone who isn’t used to it.”</p><p>“We’re just friends, but even if we weren't Lexa is certainly old enough to…”</p><p>Clarke kicked his feet from under him and used the distraction to push the larger man against the wall, pressing a knife to his throat. </p><p>“Listen to me carefully, I don't mind you talking to Lexa. She enjoys your company, keeps her entertained, that’s okay by me. But she's my client and if you mess with her in any way, I will hurt you. Are we clear?”</p><p>“Crystal.”</p><p>She let go of him, hiding the knife again. “Good.”</p><p>Lincoln glared at her as he got back to his feet.</p><p>“Don’t take this personally, I’m just doing my job,” Clarke added.</p><p>“Are you, or are you jealous that she’s spending all this time with me?” he asked.</p><p>Clarke didn't dignify that ridiculous claim with a response. Had he anything of value with him on the journey Clarke would be much happier stealing from this arrogant mountain of a man than from Lexa. </p><p> </p><p>~~~~~~~</p><p>Eleven days on the Spectator passed when the nightmares started again. It was the same as always.</p><p>
  <em>Clarke was walking through the devastated base station 319, looking for a way out but only every door she opens leads to a dead body, someone she knows, she finally finds the right doors except there’s a body there. Of course, there’s always a body here and it's always her father. Except this time something is different. Instead of seeing her dying father it’s Lexa who’s lying on the floor and slowly bleeding out. Clarke feels tears running down her face. Why is Lexa there instead of her father, why does it hurt all the same? Lexa looks up at her and speaks. “It’s okay Clarke.” What was she talking about? She was dying and Clarke didn’t do anything to help. Clarke wanted to yell but no sound would come out of her throat. </em>
</p><p>“Clarke? It’s okay Clarke.” The voice was becoming more focused, sounding closer and clearer as everything else faded into the black.</p><p>Suddenly she was awake and all too aware of the situation. She had a nightmare and Lexa was looming over her with concern, repeating her name and soothing words quietly.</p><p>“It was just a nightmare, you’re safe.”</p><p>Clarke blinked up at her, with no idea how to respond. Other than crying some more but there should never ever be any crying in front of a mark unless it was part of the plan. Some rules mustn't be broken.</p><p>“Sorry. Didn’t mean to wake you.” She managed to say hoarsely once she got her breathing somewhat under control.</p><p>“Not your fault,” Lexa said matter-of-factly. “I can put on some light if you don’t feel like going back to sleep just yet.”</p><p>Clarke nodded. “I don’t think I could if I tried.”</p><p>Lexa moved around the cabin efficiently and very unlike someone who was just woken up by her unstable bunk-mate. Soon dim lights filled the small space and after a brief smirk to Clarke one candle light, discreetly placed on a shelf by the bathroom door.</p><p>“Have you learned nothing?” Clarke groaned.</p><p>“It’s soothing.” Lexa shrugged, smiling sheepishly. That girl was unreal.</p><p>Night really shouldn’t be a thing on a spaceship. They were surrounded by nothingness all day round after all. Absence of fake daylights shouldn't make everything more lonely. Yet, silence still felt different at three am than it would at three pm. Maybe it was the knowing that everyone else on the ship was asleep, Clarke doubted even the pilot on night duty actually bothered to keep awake. </p><p>Of course, there was one other person awake... Lexa, who has seen Clarke at her low point and  was being insufferably cool about it. Not even asking about the nightmare, so Clarke couldn’t tell her to shut up and mind her own business. Or at least telling Clarke to try and get some rest, so she could tell her to fuck off. No. Lexa seemed content quietly siting at the only chair in the room, starring at the dumb candle of hers, making the silence around them feel even heavier. It annoyed Clarke.</p><p>“Aren’t you going to ask?” she heard herself bark at Lexa. Picking a fight better option than one more minute with her own thoughts.</p><p>Lexa looked up at her, seemingly completely unbothered by Clarke’s behavior.  “Do you know how to play chess?”</p><p>It wasn't the question Clarke expected and it caught her completely off guard. “What?”</p><p>“Chess,” Lexa repeated slowly. “It’s a game from the old world…”</p><p>“I know the game!” Clarke sat up in her bed so she could glare at Lexa better.</p><p>“Good, there’s a set in the common lounge. We could play for a bit.” Lexa suggested. Clarke certainly didn't feel like trying to play a game with Lexa, she scowled at the girl. Lexa shrugged. “It's a good way to distract your mind.”</p><p>That actually was a good point.</p><p>Clarke frowned some more. “Aren’t you tired? Don’t you want to sleep?”</p><p>Lexa smiled sadly. “I don’t sleep well either.” </p><p>Clarke thought back to all those times she woke up to find Lexa awake already, either gone or reading a book on her pad. Actually Clarke couldn’t think of a single time she had seen the girl asleep.</p><p>“Fine, we can play.”</p><p> </p><p> ~~~~~~~</p><p>Chess wasn’t a game many people in Clarke’s circles played. It was slow and difficult to cheat at, which was why Clarke herself got much more use out of her deck of cards and the occasional fixed dice. However a few decades ago she led a very different life. Back when she was a little girl, growing up as a part of civilized society, on an orbiting station of all places, her father enjoyed teaching her the game. Clarke couldn't count the hours they spent playing chess together.</p><p>As Lexa began to set the board she couldn't help reaching out and brushing one of the white towers with the tips of her fingers. This was a much cheaper set than the one her father used to have but the figures were similar enough. She looked up to see Lexa watching her with a thoughtful expression in her face. First the nightmare and now the familiar game, it was like the universe was doing its best to unsettle her. </p><p>They played silently. It was over quickly. When Lexa’s knight took Clarke’s king seemingly out of nowhere Clarke scoffed and demanded a re-mach. Lexa was smiling as she set the second game and Clarke vowed to beat her. She lost the next match even faster than the first.</p><p>She frowned down at the board where Lexa had her king cornered. </p><p>“Don’t take it personally, you played well.”</p><p>“You beat me in like five minutes!” Clarke grumbled. “I’m starting to think my father was letting me win,” she added under-her-breath, more to herself than anything else but Lexa caught it all the same, looking at Clarke curiously but not pressing the question she clearly wanted to ask. </p><p>“My dad taught me how to play when I was little, we used to play every Sunday morning…” Clarke heard herself say. She immediately wanted to kick herself but once she opened that door she couldn't stop the words tangled in the good memories pouring out and there was no stopping them. “I was seven when we started playing and the first time he let me win I called him out on it and made him swear he’d play his best because I wanted to beat him fair and square.”</p><p>She wasn't looking at Lexa as she spoke; she kept her eyes on the chess pieces so she couldn't see the soft smile that appeared on the other woman’s lips. “It took me three years before I finally managed to win against him and when I finally did he was so proud he told the whole- everyone he worked with.” Clarke finished lamely. Grateful that she managed to stop herself before she could cause irrevocable damage. Mentally slapping herself: <em>Stupid, stupid, what the hell are you doing?</em></p><p>“Anyway,” Clarke forced herself to continue cheerfully. “I won a lot more after that but seeing how much of a smack down you just gave me I'm wondering if he just didn't break and let me win.” </p><p>“I doubt it. I’m just very good.”</p><p>Clarke laughed. “And modest to the bone.”</p><p>Lexa shrugged smiling playfully, “I’m the ship's resident champion, you should be honored to be in my presence.”</p><p>Later when they returned to their respective beds. Clarke had a strange sense of serenity. The game really helped make her feel like herself again, it’s been a very long time since she felt that way. </p><p>They ended up playing again the next night and every night that followed. Lexa continued to spend time with Lincoln during the day but she always accepted Clarke’s offer to play a game of chess over whatever she used to do with Lincoln and Clarke couldn't help feeling some vindictive satisfaction in the knowledge that Lexa picked her over the geologist.</p><p> </p><p>~~~oOoOo~~~</p><p>Clarke was actually turning out to be a good companion for Lexa. She was pragmatic, a rather good strategist and Lexa enjoyed playing chess against her tremendously. It was difficult to find a partner who could keep up with her. The only issue was that all those qualities combined with Clarke’s beautiful but rough, ex-military looks made Lexa develop a rather inconvenient crush. </p><p>Thoughts of them sharing more than just a cabin and the nightly games of chess kept popping into her mind at improper times and she was finding it harder and harder to keep cool in Clarke’s presence. Trying to hide the blush that always went up her cheeks from her new bodyguards sharp eyes. The idea of Clarke learning about this infatuation was mortifying. Would she mock Lexa? Would she be disgusted and maybe even terminate their deal? Same sex relationships were completely normal on the core planets but Lexa heard many upsetting stories about people on the Rim planets being intolerant of them. Clarke couldn't be like that, could she? And what if she did like women? Would she like Lexa? Would she push her against the wall and have her way with Lexa, kissing her senseless as her hands roamed over her body, pushing Lexa until she begged her for more and then she would…</p><p>“Lexa, did you hear me?”</p><p>Lexa flinched when Lincoln spoke, feeling the heat rise up to her cheeks “I’m sorry what did you just say?”</p><p>“That things seem better between you and Clarke lately. You should ask her to the viewing deck tomorrow when we’ll be passing that comet…” Knowing smile played on his lips, “It’ll be a good opportunity for you two.”</p><p>“I have no idea what you’re talking about. Clarke will go see it if she wants. There’s no reason for me to ask her.”</p><p>Lincoln rolled his eyes. “For what it’s worth I’m pretty sure she’d say yes.”</p><p>Lexa narrowed her eyes. “What makes you think that?”</p><p>“The way she can't keep her eyes off of you for one.  And the fact that she threatened to kill me if I touched you.”</p><p>“She did what?” Lexa straightened in her seat to stare at Lincoln in shock, he wasn't fazed.</p><p>“About a week ago, she gave me a whole shovel talk.” He replied calmly as if talking about the weather and not someone thretening his life.</p><p>“I'm sorry, I’ll talk to her.”</p><p>“It's alright, I think she was just jealous.”</p><p>“Why would Clarke be jealous?” Clarke tolerated Lexa, but the idea of Clarke actually liking her was nonsensical, wasn't it? Lincoln disagreed entirely.</p><p>“Duh, because she likes you. Come on Lexa, you both keep making eyes at each other. It's really unnerving for everyone else on the ship so you should just do something about it already.</p><p>“You have no idea what you’re talking about.”</p><p>“Whatever you need to tell yourself, Lexa.”</p><p>“I’m starting to reconsider this friendship thing.” Lexa said with a sigh and Lincoln laughed.</p><p> </p><p> ~~~~~~~</p><p>Lexa didn't ask Clarke out on a date. She simply suggested that they should go see the comet before their standard game of chess that evening and Clarke agreed. After all, it was a beautiful sight.</p><p>“It would make a nice painting,” Clarke said as she looked out of the window, her face was beautifully illuminated by the blue light. It made Lexa’s breath catch.</p><p>“It really would.” Lexa agreed, it didn't really occur to her that Clarke probably meant the comet. If things were different Lexa would use that moment to brush Clarke’s hair off her face, maybe step closer and see if there was any chance Clarke wanted to kiss her too. </p><p>The viewing deck was full of people wanting to have a look so they didn't stay long, unfortunately they passed Lincoln on the way out and no matter how threatening Lexa tried to make her face he still grinned at them like a lunatic. Damn him to the nearest sun. Still, not even that could take away Lexa’s good mood when they sat down to play chess that evening. </p><p>In another surprising turn of events that was the first night Clarke managed to beat Lexa at the game. It’s been a very long time since Lexa lost a game of chess. The way Clarke lit up when she cornered her king made Lexa wonder why the hell didn’t she lose earlier.</p><p> </p><p>~~~oOoOo~~~</p><p>Clarke finally managed to win against Lexa! </p><p>“Not bad for a space trash huh?” Clarke grinned, relishing in her victory.</p><p>“You have a sharp mind Clarke, I never doubted you.” Lexa replied, sounding so sincerely that Clarke wanted to throw up. Or punch Lexa for making things more difficult. The Lexa in her mind, the one who was a spoiled infuriating brat, was a lot easier to keep alive when the actual Lexa wasn't speaking. Lexa should've been true to her aristocratic, heritage and call Clarke dumb space trash, but no. Lexa just has to go around being smart and beautiful and kind all the damn time, damn her.</p><p>Despite the fact that hanging out with Lexa was bad in the way that it was allowing Lexa to get under Clarke's skin much more effectively than the bandit thought possible. Clarke couldn't bring herself to stop doing it. For one thing, space was boring. There were only so many times one could clean out her gun and count the three bullets she had and there was little else to do on a small ship.</p><p>Treacherous voice in her mind tried suggesting that she could try to find a different way to get the money they needed. Come up with a plan that didn't involve robbing the girl and possibly leaving her to die. Clarke suspected that said annoying voice of weakness, or the last tether of morality, was also responsible for Lexa appearing in her nightmare. It was all useless of course, there was nothing the voice could do. Clarke had responsibilities, obligations, her beloved ship was waiting for her, she wasn't going to throw away the chance to get back her life for one little rich girl. She wouldn't enjoy betraying her but it had to be done. There definitely was a place in hell with Clarke’s name on it.</p><p>The next day she and Lexa were having breakfast at their usual table when Lincoln joined them looking uncharacteristicaly upset.</p><p>“Did you hear the news?” He asked them urgently but kept his voice low.</p><p>Lexa shook her head just as Clarke asked: “What news?”</p><p>“We need to dock at the nearest planet, it’s going to add at least a week to our journey.” </p><p>“Is something wrong with the ship?” Lexa asked.</p><p>“It's much worse I'm afraid.”</p><p>Clarke sat up in her chair, her and Lexa sharing a worried look, what could be worse than their ship malfunctioning?</p><p>“What happened?” Clarke asked.</p><p>Lincoln took a deep breath before answering somberly. “Lady Luna died. The emperor declared Mourning. We need to dock to pay our respects.”</p><p>Clarke certainly didnt expect that to be the news. Was Luna dead? The royal family was a closely followed and ridiculously adored topic even on the Rim and Lady Luna was only around her age and  set to inherit the crown and ascend to the throne sometime soon. She would be a pointless figurehead but still.</p><p>“Do we know what happened?” she asked.</p><p>“Some sort of accident the captain said, no details were released yet,” Lincoln answered.</p><p>Clarke shook her head, still processing the information. Clarke wasn't one of the religious nuts who believed that they were magical descendants of gods or that their blood was as black as the night sky and gave them supernatural powers. Or that they were the only thing standing between humanity descending into chaos and death. Still, Luna’s death was a shock. Everyone in the 'verse knew her name, she was chosen to be the emperor almost fifteen years ago. It was something solid one could count on. Sun doesn't rise in the deep dark, you just have black nothingness and distant twinkling lights of stars but no matter how far you go as long as you're human you belong under the emperor's laws and protection. Even Clarke couldn't shake that part of her upbringing, not entirely.</p><p>“Who’s going to take her place?” She asked.</p><p>“Alexandria, I believe.” Lincoln answered thoughtfully. “She’s Luna’s cousin and second in line… though I can't remember what her current position in the government is.</p><p>Clarke hummed. “I don't think I’ve heard of her,” she turned to Lexa, realizing that the girl hasn't said anything on the matter so far. “What do you think, Lexa?”</p><p>“I, what?”</p><p>“You’re all educated and well bread, will this Alexandria make a good ruler or are we all going to die?”</p><p>Lexa’s eyes widened briefly at her words. She even turned a bit  pale. The news must've really shook her up. </p><p>“Is she that bad?” Clarke asked jokingly, real concern carefully hidden underneath.</p><p>“No, I don’t know, she's very private. She was kept from the public eye. I’m sure that whoever is chosen next will be the right person for the job.” She rose from her seat without waiting for their response, she excused herself. “I need to stretch my legs.” </p><p>Clarke raised her brows, turning to Lincoln.</p><p>“She needs to process the news, we all do,” he answered the question she hasn't asked. </p><p>Clarke nodded, in a way the whole universe just changed. Hopefully this Alexandria person would take Luna’s place without fucking up too badly. Clarke lived far enough from Core planets that she could probably go years without feeling the effects this person would have on the universe.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This chapter was a hell to write but I think it turned out okay, tell me what you though!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Mourning</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Following the bad news the Spectator takes a detour to participate in Mourning for the deceased princess. Clarke wants to make the best of the stop but is forced to face some familiar faces instead.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>News of the tragic death of Lady Luna of Antgetenar the future great Emperor, left the whole crew of the Spectator in a sorrowful mood. Even Clarke was affected, though in her case it was less about the tragedy itself and more about the complications it brought her personally.</p><p>“Getting delayed a whole week just so we can burn some wheats on a redneck planet that the person were <em>'mourning' </em> never even set foot on seriously doesn't seem crazy to you? It's a damn waste of fuel!” Clarke briefly paused her litany to let her words sink in for her, less than enthusiastic, companion. “Really, it's just another of the wonderful gem of a rule the Coalition forces down our throats on a daily basis!”</p><p>Lexa, who's been quietly walking next to her through the bowels of the ship for the past five minutes didn’t seem impressed, possibly because it wasn't the first time Clarke had raised complaints on the subject since the news about their unplanned stop came.</p><p>“It's a tradition.” Lexa dismissed her, completely valid, remarks.</p><p>“It's a dumb tradition.” Clarke mumbled petulantly, just as they finally reached the main storage hull to join the other unfortunate souls who wanted to come down to the planet and 'pay their respects.’</p><p>“You should show some respect, Luna was a great leader.” Lexa snapped. </p><p>“Probably, but that's only because the royal family never actually does anything so as long as she was pretty for her portraits she was a success.” Clarke bit back without bothering to lower her voice. Couple of heads turned in their direction in a display of a variety of outraged or curious looks... Clarke grimaced, realizing that the crowded hull of the ship probably wasn't the best place for this conversation. Not to mention that Lexa also seemed to be getting quite fed up with her. </p><p>“Well if you don't want to take part you can stay on the ship. I'll simply go down with Lincoln.”</p><p>“Aw no, I want to go burn the wheats, tip my metaphorical hat. I'm just saying the timing is horrible. We'll reach Arkadia a whole week later…”</p><p>Lexa shrugged, “I wasn't aware that you are in such a hurry Clarke.”</p><p>“I’m not!” she lied.  </p><p>“Hmm.”</p><p>“Aren't you annoyed, though?” Clarke deflected the conversation. “You're the one who might miss a fancy job opportunity in Polis! Getting there is going to be a nightmare if your trip overlaps with the announcement of the new heir, the place will be so crowded you won't be able to breath muchless find a place to stay!”</p><p>“It complicates things,” Lexa admitted, “but Mourning is about paying your respects, showing that we’re still part of one kind, despite our differences as well as the distance we live from each other... it’s no time to focus on one's personal problems.”</p><p>Clarke didn't know what to say to that.</p><p>“If  you don't want to take part you can stay on the ship. I'll be fine on my own,” Lexa offered calmly. <em>As if she could survive on her own. Sweet girl. </em></p><p>“I'm your trusted bodyguard!” I go where you go.” Clarke insisted and when Lexa gave her an answering look full of distrust she added: “I promise I'll behave.”</p><p>Okay so Clarke couldn't care less about honoring dead royalty. However there were other reasons why she had to come to the planet:  a) she had to make sure that Lexa wouldn't get robbed of her money (by someone other than Clarke) and b) Clarke hoped that she could find a moment to sneak off to the communications center in town and send a message to her friends. Since all ship transmissions were being recorded and could be accessed later if, for example, one of the passengers turned out to be a wanted criminal. Whereas a random transmission from a tiny rural planet like Deimos had a little reason and even less reasources to be diligently storing or even recording calls in the first place. And as a bonus reason, annoying Lexa with blatant disrespect to tradition was proving to be very entertaining, it could be a fun day.</p><p>Even though Clarke never visited Deimos specifically, she’d seen dozens of worlds like it and so wasn’t at all surprised at the local conditions. Lexa on the other hand had no idea what she was walking into.</p><p>“Why aren't we in a landing dock?” Lexa whispered to her once their group left the ship onto a large muddy place where four other ships also found their landing. Lexa was glancing around, clearly unused on so little theatrics being done around her arrival anywhere.</p><p>“I’m pretty sure this is it.” Clarke replied, breathing in the earthly scent of wet ground and wheat fields.</p><p>“I thought we’d be attending the ceremony in the main city on this planet.” Lexa mumbled and then looked at the ground frowning. Clarke followed her gaze and noted that Lexa must’ve had the bad luck of stepping into a puddle, her fancy leather boots were covered in mud now. Clarke smirked and patted her shoulder.  “We are. It’s just not what you’re used to. Be sure to watch your step, princess.” </p><p>The town was actually one of the larger settlements as far as planets like this one went. It had multiple designated landing spaces, and it’s streets were buzzing with people, even if many of them were only visiting because of the ceremony, it was a good sign that they could fit in the town streets without it falling apart. To her annoyance, Clarke had to practically drag Lexa to make sure that they stayed in step with Lincoln and the others because the girl kept stopping to stare at the buildings and horse drawn carts filled with hay and whatnot. It was a dirty dump of a town on a farming planet, there was nothing to stare at.</p><p>“It really is another world.” Lexa whispered to Clarke, wistfully.</p><p>“I suppose, it's as different as can be from the Core Planets. Where did you say you were from?” </p><p>Lexa either didn't catch her question or she chose to ignore it in favor of finally catching up with the others. “Come on Clarke, we almost lost them!”</p><p><em> Who’s fault is that?</em> She thought as they fought their way back to their group.</p><p>Clarke didn't know much about the mourning ceremony. It was supposedly similar to regular grounder funerals, except that this had to happen in every colonized world around the same time so logically they couldn't pay their respects to the actual body. Would there be a hologram of the real thing? Or just an empty pyre… Clarke wasn't sure. Lexa could probably tell her more than she ever wanted to know about it if she asked, Clarke suspected that she could talk about the proper protocols of anything. </p><p>As it turned out the pyre was in the town's main square and didn't seem to involve holograms of any kind. Just a lot of people, and somber music provided by two violins that had seen better days, who sat on a makeshift platform close to the pyre. Captain of their ship shook hands with the local chancellor, at which point they were all formally greeted at the ceremony. It felt rushed and a bit forced but Clarke figured that it was to be expected if the guy had to do this with every crew passing by as well as local villagers for three days. Then Clarke caught sight of the communications tower and all other thoughts were set aside. It must have been on the other end of town, opposed to the lot the Spectator used for landing. Just her luck that they would end up on the wrong landing lot. Clarke was tempted to head straight to it while Lexa and the others  mingled with the town folk around the pyre. But Lexa would notice and it could make her take a closer look at Clarke’s awful cover story, nobody wanted that to happen. Clarke sighed and followed after her.</p><p>After some mingling Clarke learned that to take part in the ceremony people were paying symbolic amounts of money for small bundles of wheats just so they could say their peace into it before tossing it to the pile of wood to be burned.</p><p><em>They might as well be burning the money.</em> Seriously, Clarke would never understand the habits ground people got into. She lived in space for most of her life and they certainly didn't waste resources on such nonsense up there.</p><p>“You aren't getting one.” Lexa made her way back to the bandit holding her own bundle carefully as if it actually was something sacred and important. Clarke couldn't tell if she was asking or simply observing, she tilted her head to her curiously and said “I don't think the princess would want to hear from me of all people in the afterlife.”</p><p>
  <em> And also its completely bullshit and doesn’t actually do anything.</em>
</p><p>Lexa frowned. “I thought you wanted to ‘tip your metaphorical hat’?”</p><p>“Exactly, I can do that from here.</p><p>Lexa wasn't humored but also didn't seem surprised with Clarke’s choice, she shrugged. “I'll give her your best.” Clarke watched the girl go off to find a somewhat lonely spot a few steps away from the chaos of bodies to sit down on the dirty ground and reassemble the wheats while whispering to it gently. Clarke stayed close enough to watch over her while giving her some space. Even sitting on a dirty ground Lexa somehow still managed to look like a picture of gracefulness. Was there a course for that in whichever rich-kid school she went to? Clarke had to wonder if she would’ve known how to do that had her parents chosen to live their lives in one of the Core planets of the Coalition instead of a space station.</p><p>She watched Lexa's nimble fingers braiding the wheats carefully and seriously as if she was actually weaving the prayers into them. There was something enchanting about it. For the first time since she was a child, Clarke felt like she could believe that these rituals actually held a little spark of magic.</p><p>~~~oOoOo~~~</p><p> </p><p>All the noise of the other people chattering or praying got quieter as Lexa began weaving, focusing all her attention on the manual work and prayers. Some part of her still couldn't believe that she was actually weaving mourning wheats for Luna.</p><p>“You were the best of us,” she whispered to her late friend, as she entered the personal part of the prayer.</p><p>“They chose you.” <em> Not me. </em> Her fingers trembled slightly, but didn’t break their repetitive motions. </p><p>“I don't know what I'm going to do now.” The relief of admitting the words aloud after weeks of bottling them inside was overwhelming. </p><p>“Even if I can get to Polis alive,  I'll never be you.”</p><p>“I wish Costia was here, she'd know what to say to you how to say goodbye to you properly.” </p><p>Tears were stinging in her eyes as she forced herself to continue. “But I'm afraid it's only me here now... Well me and Clarke. We're both here to wish you a safe passage on your travels between the stars. Express our love for you.”</p><p>Lexa's hands paused. Her stomach felt like lead again. She closed her eyes, breathing in and out slowly. Then she resumed her task, her fingers still trembling. “But I can't do it Luna... I hate you so much right now. How could you leave this on me? I was the one who could get herself killed doing something heroic, not you.”</p><p> She swallowed down a quiet sob, unable to speak for a moment, her work was almost finished, not that it mattered, nothing about this was anywhere near to what protocol dictated. Lexa couldn't bring herself to care. “Honestly, I don't think Clarke has much love for you or anyone in the royal family. Don't take it personally, she is from a different world than we are, but she's here anyway, you should appreciate that.”  She took a deep breath. “ Alright, enough ranting. Goodbye for now, Luna. May your spirit burn bright among the stars.”</p><p>Lexa was one of the last people from Spectator to place their Mourning braids on the pyre. She hoped her face wouldn't betray her and show signs of crying. Clarke was looking at her strangely when she got back to her. Lexa wanted to punch something.</p><p>“What?” She asked almost aggressively.</p><p>“Nothing. Just wondering if you need to get back to the ship.”</p><p>So much for making it look like it wasn't a big deal. Did she truly look so pathetic? </p><p>“I'm fine, Clarke.” Lexa looked over the square, new people were trickling in while the ones who left their offerings were disappearing into the crowd, making room for the new arrivals. The place was too small for all the earnest people wishing to pay respects. Everything was so similar to how it would be done back home and yet so different. </p><p>“We should go,” she told Clarke, tugging the woman along through the crowd.</p><p>“Uh okay, the ship is the other way though, Lexa.”</p><p>“We need to make a stop somewhere else first.” She tried to keep her voice leveled, like it was a completely normal day and they had errands, keeping the unwanted emotions the ceremony brought up tightly bound in her chest.</p><p>“If we’re shopping, you still owe me that coat. And I could use some bullets so...”</p><p>Lexa cut her off, “We're not going shopping.”  </p><p>Strangely enough Clarke seemed actually disappointed by her words. She didn't strike Lexa as the shopping type at all.</p><p>“So where are we going?”Clarke asked suspiciously. “As your bodyguard, I have the right to know what you're getting us into. You're not planning on flashing cash in the seediest bar in town again right?”</p><p>“No, the satellite tower, I need to check on something.” Lexa told her. She had the idea when she caught sight of the tower on their way through town. Maybe it wouldn’t lead to anything but right now Lexa needed a distraction, something to focus on other than Luna’s death. </p><p>“Yes! Uh, That sounds like a safe enough plan, I approve.” At least her self-proclaimed bodyguard wasn't putting up a fight about the destination.</p><p> Lexa knew that she should try to talk about something mundane and distracting to keep Clarke from noticing how shook up she was, but nothing would come to mind.</p><p>“Should I buy a gun?” She asked when a glimmer of a shiny weapon in a shop window they've were passing caught her eye, well at least it was a semi relevant topic to discus.</p><p>Though Clarke didn't like the idea. “Have you ever even fired a gun before?”</p><p>Lexa shrugged innocently. “It looks simple enough.”</p><p>“If you get a gun without knowing how to handle it, you’ll probably end up shooting yourself in the foot and bitching to me about it for weeks, and it’ll ruin a perfectly good pair of boots.”</p><p>“Are you referring to a personal experience?” Lexa was actually curious since the story was far too specific to be made up.</p><p>Clarke chuckled, “It was during our first week of training and this kid named Jasper thought it was a great idea to clean his gun without checking the chamber first…”</p><p>The rest of the way passed by quickly enough, with Clarke listing all the ways Lexa would probably hurt herself if she had to handle a gun. The sky started to turn grey as they reached the communications tower. Nightfall was nearing. Luckily the base for all off world communications apparently stays open late, as well as surprisingly busy.  The main lounge was lined with several computer walls, about thirty computers for use and most of them were taken. The place reeked with stiff air and drying mud at the same time, Lexa got nauseous as soon as the door closed behind them.</p><p>The reception desk was also busy and the employees working it looked ready to kill  anyone who tried to argue with them about their rates one more time. But when Lexa asked for a private room and then  handed over the money for it with a small tip the attendant cheerfully offered to lead her to the upper floor where all the rooms were, suddenly a ray of sunshine.</p><p>Lexa asked Clarke to wait for her, the bodyguard didn't protest in the least at being separated from her this time which somehow felt odd. Still it was for the best, though Lexa wasn’t foolish enough to hope that Clarke wouldn’t have more prying questions later. She better come up with something.</p><p>The private room was tiny, but it would do. Lexa sat before the welcome-screen, frowning at it. Who could she possibly call without attracting the wrong kind of attention?</p><p>~~~oOoOo~~~</p><p> </p><p>Clarke couldn't believe her luck. First, Lexa wanted to go to the satellite tower and then she requested a private room. Giving Clarke the perfect opportunity to send her own message without having to explain anything. She put together enough change for a transmission having to turn over every single one of her pockets and went to find a computer of her own. Odds were good that no one would be trassing the message, but Clarke also wasn't going to take chances.</p><p>
  <em>Dear Octavia,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I hope that you and the rest of our family are doing well. As you might've heard my fishing trip was interrupted by some really bad weather and I had to cancel dinner party because I had no fish to eat at all :( It's a terrible shame since I went through so much trouble to make it happen and then I almost drowned instead. The owner of the fishing boat was pretty upset about it all too, I don’t expect him to do us much favors anymore!!!  Did you have better luck back home? How is the fundraiser for poor orphans going? </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Fortunately luck has smiled at me and I have a ride back home and a lead on a bit of work on the way, though it likely won't be enough to build a new orphanage on its own if your fundraiser succeed we could still get the building... See you in a few weeks, be safe!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Love, your favorite sister. </em>
</p><p>Clarke wasn't sure if she'd get a reply in time but at least Octavia would get the message that she was still alive and on her way back with a bit of money. In the unlikely case that she was extremely lucky and O sent a reply in time the tower would redirect it to her wrist-pad, she would have some additional information on how things were going for the rest of their little gang.</p><p>She stood up from the screen, satisfied with a job well done and ready to wait for Lexa, when she noticed two men on the other side of the room were staring at her.</p><p>Maybe they were waiting to use the screen she's been hogging. Clarke left the seat, moving over to the only window to fake interest in the view. It was already pitch black outside, which turned the window into an ideal mirror. Clarke checked the reflection in the window to see if they were still watching her. <em> Yep, something is wrong here.</em> </p><p>From what she could tell they weren't with the police, and considering the fact that they were on the ground floor in a large room with about twenty other people, there was no reason to panic, yet. While she considered her options one of the men walked out of the building while his buddy continued watching her. He could be leaving to fetch the sheriff. <em>Fuck. </em></p><p>Clarke turned from the window and to the stairs leading to private rooms as well as the toilets as a little sign helpfully informed her. That could work for her benefit. The second floor was just a long hallway with doors, sure someone could walk out of any of them at any time but that was a risk that couldn't be helped. She opened the doors to the toilets, not a soul in there, great. Clarke waited to enter the room just as her friend from downstairs appeared on the stairway, leaving no doubt in his mind about where his target was going. In the room, Clarke moved to the side of the doors with her weapon drawn. The man didn't keep her waiting, entering soon with his own gun ready to fire. </p><p>“Drop that.” Clarke hissed, cocking her weapon which was now firmly targeted to the man's head. </p><p>“I knew it was you.” The man said angrily.“Sam di'nt believe me, said you wasnt  so dumb to show your yourself in our sector. But I'd recognize your lying face anywhere.”</p><p>“Aw do we know each other?” Clarke asked sweetly, though she was genuinely wondering if they met. He did seem vaguely familiar... </p><p>“You destroyed bosses favorite ride and got his nephew killed, he's got everyone looking for you.”</p><p>“Oh, You're from the Trelinski family! Now I remember, Peter or something right? I thought you were a smuggler, what are you doing hunting down traitors. You're rather bad at it too.” </p><p>“It was a coincidence. Like I said, we had no idea you'd be dumb enough to be here.” </p><p>“Uhuh, so where did that buddy of yours go, Pete?”</p><p>Pete paused for a moment, fidgeting before coughing up an answer. “For a pint, didn't believe it was you, like I said..” </p><p>“Yeah yeah didn't expect me to be so dumb, got it.” Clarke interrupted him. “Okay now you're going to tell me where is your-” Pete turned out to be braver than Clarke gave him credit for and caught her by surprise when he suddenly closed the short distance between them, slamming her hard against the wall and knocking the gun out of her hand. </p><p>She kneed his crotch, not above playing dirty in the least. Pete then dragged her to the ground with him and tried to use his strength to choke her, she saw stars for a moment, struggling against him with one hand while her other reached to find a knife and stab the man anywhere she could. His eyes widened and the hold on Clarke's throat eased for a second. It was enough to free herself. She took a gasping breath and hit his head with the dull end of the knife. And then once more just to be sure he was out. </p><p>Her senses slowly returned and she assessed the situation. The smuggler  was unconscious but bleeding from a long cut on his back, which actually turned out to be a pretty harmless wound, well Clarke did cut completely blindly. That problem could be easily fixed now with some light smotheration but since his friend also saw Clarke it wouldn't do anything other than add to her body count. <em>Fuck it.  </em></p><p>She dragged the guy over to one of the stalls and situated him there. He would wake up or not, head wounds were a tricky thing, it was in the universe's hands. At least this way nobody would be calling any alarms over a dead guy in a bathroom in the next hour. Once her clothes were properly straightened and her, ever so useful, weapon back in it’s holster she walked out of the bathroom and almost collided with Lexa who was just passing the door. </p><p>“Clarke, good, I'm ready to go.”</p><p>“Great timing,” Clarke grinned, she grabbed Lexa's hand, nearly tugging her to the stair. “Let's get out of here.”</p><p>The streets outside were dark  but people were still coming in and out of the  building  Clarke searched for any sign of the other gangster, nothing. Maybe Pete's friend, Sam, was it? Really did go for a pint, Clarke thought cheerfully.</p><p>“Well, if you did everything you wanted in there, we should get back to the ship.”</p><p>“I'm surprised you don't want to go have a drink.” Lexa looked at her curiously. “After all that complaining about the Spectator's lack of “good booze.”</p><p>Clarke waved her off. “That was before I found out that Mitch from the engine room likes to moonshine the nights away.”</p><p>“I'm afraid that I'm not sure what that means?” Lexa frowned.</p><p>“You're fucking with me right?”</p><p>“I'm not, I'm not familiar with the expression, but from the context I'd guess…” She stopped talking, staring straight ahead and then glancing back. Her next words came out as an urgent whisper. “Clarke, is it just me or are those people about to mugg us?”  </p><p>The road they were on was wide, dusty and lined by livestock railings, it was the most rural part of town, which at night had little reason to be tended to so there really wasn’t much reason for the six men to be standing by the railings three on each side, not drinking or arguing over something dumb, just standing there enjoying the evening breeze and a sky full of stars. Oh it was so an ambush. Pete was a fucking liar and his friend didn't go for a pint, Clarke suddenly regretted not making sure that he was dead.</p><p>They stopped about twenty steps from the trap. Clarke could see faces but she recognized Sam's bald head. It was the fucking Trelinskis, what did they have so many people on this dumb planet for?</p><p>“You're right,” she whispered back to Lexa, “get ready to run and not look back,” she turned them around. “Now!” she whispered and they dashed off. Their sudden change of direction didn't go unnoticed by their mobster friends. Couple of bullets flew past them followed by angry shouts. </p><p>“Fuck!”</p><p>“Don't kill her, boss wants her to suffer!”</p><p>“She can't get away this time!”</p><p>Clarke cursed inwardly as they ran for their lives. If she made it out of this mess alive she would have helluva time explaining herself to Lexa out of this one.</p><p>For an aristocrat, Lexa was a really good runner. They rounded a corner, getting themselves a few seconds of being covered from the sights of their attackers and their guns. Sadly there weren't many places to hide. Making it back to the communications center could be safe, if it wasn't for the fact that Lexa would probably mention the dangerous muggers to someone there and Clarke as a wanted criminal would most likely get arrested if any kind of investigation took place. They had to ditch those guys and get back on their ship. She steered Lexa in the opposite direction from the com center, away from buildings and prying eyes. They climbed over a wooden fence and  hid themselves in an orchard. Tree branches were not ideal for running so they had to slow down to a quick sneaking through. </p><p>“I think we lost them.” Clarke declared when a few minutes passed without any more shouts or gunshots reaching them. “Come on, we have to get to the river.” If the rounds in the town were muddy it was nothing in comparison to the mess they were walking through now. Clarke was pretty sure they’d end up bringing a whole garden back on the ship just between the two of them now. If they made it back alive of course.</p><p>They walked through the orchard as far as they could but eventually they had to leave it. The river wasn't visible in the dark but Clarke could already hear it. All they had to do was simply follow it back to the landing place and they'd be in the clear.</p><p>They were about five minutes walk from the orchard when a shout ruined Clarke’s hopes for a quiet way back to the ship.</p><p>“There!” They heard from the direction of the town. </p><p>Clarke turned after the sound. Two figures on horses were rushing towards them. Great.</p><p>Trying to outrun armed riders was a suicidal idea, on the other hand  Clarke's other plan was horribly risky and she really didn't want to do it. <em>Oh Fuck, everything, </em> she thought as she sprinted towards the men. First she slid feet first on the muddy ground and shot one of them in the head before she even fully stopped. Her back would hurt something fierce but the shot ran nice and clean. Then, while the dead man's horse provided her cover from the other, Clarke rose from the muddy ground and shot again, just as a bullet fired by her opponent swished past her ears. Not even a minute had passed and the two were dead. </p><p>Clarke didn’t feel a thing looking over the bodies.. The second man she had killed was lying in the muddy ground, where he fell when his frightened horse took off running. Curiously enough the other horse was either deaf or simply old and out of fucks to give as he remained standing casually by Clarke's side with a dead body hanging off of his back like a bloody rag. Clarke patted him in what was hopefully a friendly manner before she pushed the dead body out of the saddle and pulled herself up in its place. The horse huffed but otherwise cooperated as she steered it towards Lexa. The girl would certainly be stunned and in awe of Clarke’s quick action. Clarke was  proud of herself for this one, it must’ve looked awesome.</p><p> Lexa however wasn't nearly as excited about Clarke's display of bravery and skill as the bandit expected. She was leaning all of her weight on one side, looking up to the sky as if they were on a bloody picnic not escaping mafia gunmen.</p><p>Clarke shook her head, the girl was unbelievable. She extended her hand to Lexa to help her get on the horse too. “We got to go, the others could be here any minute!”</p><p>Lexa only blinked at her and nodded. Her movements weren't as graceful as Clarke was used to seeing from her as she dragged herself into the saddle with Clarke’s help. Though some clumsiness after seeing people get shot for the first time wasn't the worst of possible excuses. Once Lexa's hands were firmly around her waist Clarke nudged the horse to move, ideally they'd be safely back on their ship by the time the bodies were found.</p><p>~~~~~~~</p><p> </p><p>“That was some mourning ceremony huh?” Clarke said when they finally made it back to their cabin on the ship and could kick off her wet and muddy shoes. She was exhausted so cleaning up would have to wait. Lexa didn't reply. She didn't say anything the whole ride back except for muttering ‘thank you’ when they ditched the horse and left it to wander off into the night.</p><p>Lexa was either in shock from what just happened, or she was thinking about what those men shouted, and how it was obviously Clarke’s fault, and that she should call the watch right now. Clarke ran a hand through her hair, thinking up what to say.</p><p>“Okay so about what just happened...” she didn't get any further because Lexa placed herself on the floor ruffly and cried out: “I’m so sorry Clarke,” she sounded crushed. Was she about to turn Clarke in?</p><p>“Look, Lexa, I don’t want-”</p><p>“It’s all my fault.” Lexa whispered, a tear was running down her cheek and she was visibly shaking all over. Clarke couldn't understand what was going on.</p><p>“Your fault?”</p><p>“I thought that I was careful but someone must’ve tracked me down and you would’ve gotten killed too.” The words were coming between shaking and sobbing and Clarke wasn't sure when she sat down on the floor next to Lexa but suddenly she was hugging her and the girl was clinging to her desperately in return “I'm sorry. She’s dead and I can't do anything. I can't be what he wants me to be, I’m too weak,” Lexa sobbed uncontrollably.</p><p>Clarke patted her shoulder, while thinking:<em> what the fuck?</em> Lexa was obviously running  from more trouble than she guessed. But those guys were after Clarke, she recognized some of them and what's-his-face confirmed as much in the bathroom. Lexa must’ve misunderstood the whole situation because she’s scared out of her mind about whoever is after her. It would be the right thing to console her, tell her that this mess wasn't her fault and that she was going to be fine.</p><p>“It’s alright. I offered to be your bodyguard and I did my job tonight.” Yes, it's wrong but doing the ‘right thing’ never ends well for anyone. Lexa didn't reply, or maybe she did but it was lost in between her sobbing into Clarke’s shirt.</p><p>After a while Clarke managed to coax Lexa into standing up. Clarke wanted her to take a shower to calm down a bit and then ask her for specifics about the mess she was in so Clarke would know what they were dealing with but once they stood up Lexa fell again and only Clarke’s quick reflexes stopped her from hitting the floor. At first Clarke thought that she was only exhausted but then she noticed the blood. Lexa was bleeding. When could’ve she… She was fine when they ran into the orchard...Then the moment Clarke ran against the riders came to mind. Bullets flying past her…Lexa had no good place to cover then, Clarke didn't even think to push her aside.</p><p>“They shot you,” she whispered the horrible realization. “Why didn't you say anything?” They could’ve stopped the bleeding ages ago. She frantically pushed the blood soaked shirt aside to assess the damage. Lexa’s side was bleeding badly, did the bullet go through something important? It could already be too late for her. Clarke tor one of Lexa’s shirt to make an improvised bandage. Lexa was unconscious already,  looking so damn young in the cabin light.</p><p>“Come on, Lexa, you can't die on me.” Getting Lexa killed wasn't something Clarke wanted, she was annoying yes, but she was innocent and kind and smart and had her whole life ahead of her… Being confronted with the real possibility of Lexa dying because of her it felt like a bloody gut punch. The nightmare where she saw Lexa’s dead body suddenly seemed like a cruel prophecy.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you all for reading. I'm sorry to leave it like this but oh no look at the time....</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Written in Blood</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Lexa is still a sweet summer child. Clarke has a tough time dealing with her emotions and doesn't like it.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lexa was lying in a field, basking in the shine of the setting sun. She noticed her cousin standing over her with a victorious smirk <em>She beat me again, </em> Lexa realized, <em> that's why I'm on the ground. Luna is too quick on her feet and sparing against her is impossibly challenging.  </em> Laxa laughed; feeling relieved for some unexplained reason. She would get up and try to fight the older girl again, as she always did, the present and the past blended in the certainty of it. Except this time Lexa couldn't move, she felt cold and sweaty at the same time and her feet wouldn't cooperate. </p><p>“Get up little one, you have work to do!” Luna prompted her. <em>Work? </em> “You really need to be more careful, Lexa.” Luna carried on. “You’re me now.” Lexa didn't know what she meant by that, the words resonated with some memory that was just out of reach of her. Luna’s face was lit by the glow of a sunset, she smiled at Lexa, encouragingly.  Lexa stood up with her help easily, maybe too easily. Something was off. </p><p>“We should get back,” Lexa said, looking at her cousin nervously.</p><p>“It’s time,” Luna agreed with a sad smile. </p><p>Lexa’s unease grew. “What's wrong?”</p><p>“Be careful who you trust, little one.” Luna's words rang in her ears, however her cousin and their surroundings were fading away to leave space for darkness and echoes of angry voices. </p><p>“She needs more help than this we need to tell the captain!”</p><p>“He’ll report it!</p><p>“Lexa could die, Clarke!”  </p><p>“She's fine, look at her she's getting better!” </p><p>“She could be dead in ten minutes, if we missed anything!”</p><p>Lexa opened her eyes; quickly taking in the situation. Clarke and Lincoln were standing over her, frowning at each other. “Where are we?” she tried to ask but her throat was so dry that the sound that came out was closer to the sound of a faulty engine trying to start, than to actual words.</p><p>It sufficed to get their attention at least. They quickly dropped their argument in favor of fawning over her. Clarke even brought up a cup of water to her lips. Nothing was ever as refreshing as the first few sips of water that were allowed to pass her lips. Though when Lexa finally felt like she could talk without much problem her question was answered already; they were at Lincoln’s, she was lying on a fur covered table, where the fur came from she had no idea.</p><p>“How do you feel, kid? I was just saying to Lincoln again that you don't need to go to a hospital…” Clarke asked once she made sure Lexa had enough water.</p><p> “Clarke-” Lincoln started warningly. Lexa interrupted him “I’m okay,” and went to sit up but Lincoln's hands on her shoulder stopped her.</p><p>“Wait, Lexa you’ve been shot, you shouldn’t get up yet.” Lexa didn’t fight him, too surprised to finally feel the sharp pain pulsing in her side; she's never been hurt like this before. Never been shot with a primitive gun either so that made sense. “Did you remove the bullet?” she asked with more curiosity than fear.</p><p>“Didn't have to, it went through,” Lincoln sighed. “But Lexa, it would be a miracle if it didn't hit anything important in that area, when I first saw it I was certain that your kidneys were hit and I only-”</p><p>“She’d already be dead if it was the kidneys,” Clarke cut in, prompting Lexa to take a good look at her. Clarke's face was a mess of blood and dirt still, Lexa had to wonder how she was still standing after everything that happened. </p><p>“But Lexa only crashed way after we got to the ship and it doesn't look like she's bleeding internally so...”</p><p>“Doesn't seem? You’re not a doctor, Clarke! This is Lexa’s life we’re talking about, don't you care?” Lincoln didnt even attemt to hide the disgust in his voice.</p><p>“Enough,” Lexa said as firmly as she could manage; stopping Lincoln's tirade effectively. “I don't need a doctor, I’m fine.” She went to sit up again, ignoring the pain. This time she actually managed to finish the action because Clarke caught Lincoln's hand before he could stop her from moving again. “She’ll get up if she wants to get up.” Clarke told him with an edge to her voice. Her bloodied, messy and tired look made her appear more like a vengeful demon than the friendly retired soldier she was. Lincoln for his part, didn't seem intimidated in the least. He didn't hesitate to scoff back at her before glancing between Lexa and her with growing annoyance. </p><p>“You’re insane, both of you!” he said finally. </p><p>“Possibly,” Lexa smiled. His concern was touching but she didn't understand why it seemed like Clarke and Lincoln were about to kill each other when they both just wanted to help. She decided to change the subject before another physical fight. “Anyway, I remember the fight and getting up on the horse. I'm not sure what happened after that. Could you please fill me in?”</p><p>Clarke looked back at her, despite her state, she still had that sense of control about her. “We got back and you seemed a bit shook but fine and then you passed out saying something about not wanting to go to a doctor. So I brought you to Lincoln. Since he mentioned being a field medic.” </p><p>Lexa looked to Lincoln who reluctantly continued. “I did what I could with my limited training but you really need to go to a hospital, we need to alert the captain before we take off so he can make arrangements.”</p><p>Lexa closed her eyes for a second to consider all that information. Lincoln seemed dead set on this and Lexa could only hope that he would respect her wishes.</p><p>“Lincoln, thank you for all your help. You saved my life, you and Clarke both, I won't forget my debt to you but please, I don't want to involve any more people. Lincoln seemed ready to argue so Lexa carried on. “Lincoln, would you please give me a moment alone with Clarke?”</p><p>He eyed them suspiciously but forfeited eventually, leaving them to talk privately. Lexa waited for the door to close before she turned to Clarke. “What did you tell him about the men that attacked us?” </p><p>“Relax, I only told him it was a mugging gone wrong and that we can't risk getting in trouble over killing those men. He wasn't happy but he won't rat us out.” </p><p>Lexa wasn’t quite as confident as Clarke, they were putting a lot on Lincoln. Especially if someone identifies the men that Clarke killed as the hired assassins they undoubtedly were...</p><p>“Can someone connect us to the bodies?” she asked.</p><p>“Nope, you don't even have a wrist pad and mine doesn’t leave tracks unless I want it too. If you can get through this without alarming someone on the ship, we’ll get away scot free.”</p><p><em>They’ll just send more, if they found me here, they can find me again.</em> Lexa thought but kept herself from saying it, she wasn't sure how much she wanted to tell Clarke, yet. <em>How did they find me?</em></p><p>“Good, sorry I had to make sure, are you alright, Clarke?” </p><p>The question took her bodyguard by surprise,“You’re the one who got shot and you’re asking if I’m alright?”</p><p>Lexa frowned. “When I saw you running towards the men who wanted to kill us I… “ she felt unwelcomed tears filing her eyes and had to pause to get herself under control. “I’m sorry Clarke, about all of this.” Gathering her strength, she looked up at the other woman. “I thought you were gonna get killed.”</p><p>Clarke suddenly looked pale, but when she spoke her tone was almost forcely cheerful. “You need to have more faith, I'm your bodyguard right?” Lexa didn't know what to say so she only gave a weak smile. Clarke sighed, words that followed were spoken softly “I suppose I did kinda really fucked up this time, almost letting you get killed and all...” she trailed off. </p><p>“Hey.” Lexa took one of Clarkes hands into her own, squeezing firmly. “It wasn't your fault. Besides, I’m fine, you said it yourself.” Lexa added, hoping to clear of the strange expression that appeared on Clarkes face when she said it wasn't her fault.</p><p>Clarke shook her head. “I only said it because I didn't want Lincoln to call anyone unless it was absolutely necessary.” The fight left her, leaving her seem oddly vulnerable and guilty. </p><p>That was the right call, Lexa couldn't risk seeing a real doctor. But how did Clarke know that? Fear seized her and before she could really consider her words she heard herself ask “Was it for me or you?” </p><p>Clarke noticeably jerked at the question, she answered quickly and with some badly hidden anger “You were the one who made me promise not to call anyone!” </p><p>“I’m sorry, I simply don’t remember, Clarke… Did I say anything else before I lost consciousness?” Lexa tried to sound casual but her heart was pounding in her chest. Clarke shrugged. “Nothing that made any sense.”</p><p>Lexa cheered internally but kept her face clear. “Oh, alright I was just curious.”</p><p>“Is that all you wanted to ask me?” Clarke asked, sounding almost heasitently again. </p><p>“Well, yes.” Lexa tried to think of something important that should be dealt with immediately. “Is there something else you want to talk about?” She asked, hoping that Clarke wouldn't want to know who were those men who attacked them. She had to be wondering about everything. It was unfair of Lexa to keep her in the dark if she was risking her life and killing people on her behalf without knowing why. </p><p>“Nope, nothing comes to mind. How about we get you to bed?”</p><p>Lexa was happy to go with that with one small addition to the plan. “Do you think we could get something to eat first? I'm starving.”</p><p>Lincoln freaked out some more once Clarke pulled him back from the hallway so he could take Lexa back to their bunk and insisted that Lexa stay the night so he could look after her. Clarke protested vigorously. </p><p>“I can take care of her, I'm her fucking bodyguard!” </p><p>“You let her get shot!”</p><p>“Enough!” Lexa interrupted them with the sharpest tone she could muster. “I’m tired and hungry and not in the mood for this. Clarke you need rest too, I don't want you worrying about me all night. And Lincoln I’m fine, I'd like you to get some rest as well so if it eases your mind I can stay here just to be sure but only if you promise you'll get some sleep as well.”</p><p>“I can do that. I don't know how it's possible but you do seem better, Lexa.” The relief of calming everyone down didn't last more than a second before Clarke folded her arms over her chest.</p><p>“I'm not leaving you here with him,”  she insisted.</p><p>“What? Why not.”</p><p>“I'm your bodyguard, besides there's only one bed.”</p><p>Lexa cooked her head and said curiously at that. “Are you worried about my virtue, Clarke?” </p><p>“I'll sleep on the hammock!” Lincoln said, scandalized, Lexa could swear he was almost blushing. He walked to the wall and pulled something hanging from the ceiling that revealed itself into a raggy hammock suspended from the ceiling.</p><p>“See, Clarke, it's no problem,” Lexa turned back to her happily,” could you just grab me some bread from the kitchen before you go to sleep I'm starving…”</p><p>Lincoln frowned  “I’m not sure if you should be eating right now Lexa, maybe just some of my synthetic broth.” </p><p>“Uh I need real food. Clarke, please!” Lexa turned to Clarke begging shamelessly. She didn't remember ever being so hungry in her life.</p><p>“Clarke, don't you dare.” Lincoln warned.</p><p>“I’ll see what I can do.” Clarke promised, ignoring Lincoln.</p><p>As soon as the door shut again Lincoln turned to Lexa. “Say the word and I'll get you to a doctor.” </p><p>“I beg your pardon?” Lexa said, utterly confused by his sudden urgency.</p><p>“Is she threatening you? She killed those men, not you. I don't care if she faces justice for what she’s done. She almost got you killed and now she acts like she did you some favor.” Lexa couldnt remember a time when she seen Lincoln so angry and he was reading the situation all wrong.</p><p>“She saved me out there Lincoln." Lexa explained patiently. "Those men were... She risked her life, protecting me, doing her job.”</p><p>Lincoln scoffed at that. “Funny how that worked out.”</p><p>“Lincoln, please, I'm telling you I trust Clarke. Now more than ever.” Lexa added truthfully.</p><p>“If it was self defence, why not come clean?” he questioned.</p><p>“It's complicated. Can you just trust me, for now?”</p><p>Lincoln frowned but he did give in after a moment and agreed to give Lexa some time.</p><p>By the time Clarke came back, finally clean of all the mud and blood and carrying several ration packs and extra blankets, Lincoln was done straightening up the place and went to take a shower. </p><p>“How is it that the two of us are stuck in a room so tiny that we can't take more than two steps and the rock guy gets the biggest cabin on the deck?” Clarke wondered while Lexa wolfed down the second ration pack in under a minute. Using the fact that Lincoln stepped out to eat as much as possible. </p><p>“And you're not listening to me. Hey, should you really be eating all that?” Clarke asked. Lexa’s eyes shifted to Clarke but she didn’t say anything as she sucked down the last bits out of the tasteless protein tube. “Huh never seen you eat one of those without making a face before.” </p><p>Lexa shrugged sheepishly. She didn't have any good explanation for her sudden appetite. Once she was done with the food, her hunger lessened, she began to feel incredibly tired. Clarke assisted her to the bed where the extra blankets laid, even helped her into a long sweater whose origins were a mystery to Lexa. </p><p>She yawned as she settled on the bed. “Thank you, Clarke, I don't think that I’ll  need the second blanket though, you should keep it.” There were no extra blankets in their bunk so Clarke must’ve sacrificed her own.</p><p>“Oh I am keeping it, I brought it for myself.” Clarke explained with the same cocky nonshalance Lexa both hated and found attractive. Grabbing the other blanket  for herself she she flashed Lexa that smirk of hers. “If you’re sleeping here I'm sleeping here, boss.”</p><p>“What are you talking about?” There was nowhere for Clarke to sleep in the cabin...</p><p>“I'll nap on the table or the chair. But I'm staying with you, Lexa.” </p><p>Lexa had no idea where this was coming from, Clarke usually took any chance she could to keep her distance. “You know that I'll still pay you even if you take some time off now right?” Lexa asked carefully, trying to get to the bottom of it.</p><p>“Yeah, I still want to stay.” Clarke confirmed without so much as batting an eye. </p><p>Lexa's heart did a little flip. Clarke couldn’t have known how much those words meant to her. She's had people waiting on her her whole life but it was always because of her blood, the concept of who she was but Clarke wanted to go out of what was required of her by the job she barely did in the first place to stay and look out for Lexa even when there wasn't any real danger to protect her from. Did she consider Lexa a friend? She refused to acknowledge the water that started to form in her eyes, it was an emotional day and her body was reacting strangely to it all. She wasn't sure what to say so she only gave Clarke a smile and nodded. Somehow it seemed to emberase Clarke, as she took her blanket and pressed it to her chest like a shield, looking away from Lexa. “Good, glad we agree.”  It all felt awkward suddenly and Lexa didn't know what to do. Was it in her head? She felt a sudden urge to get up and kiss Clarke senseles. Or at the very least hug her tightly and not let go. </p><p>“Why does she have a blanket?” Lincoln’s distressed voice rang through the cabin, pulling Lexa from her thoughts. “She’s supposed to be leaving now.” </p><p>“Sorry, you’re not getting rid of me that easily.” Clarke replied and despite not being able to see her Lexa knew that the woman was smirking just then. </p><p>Lincoln looked from the blonde to Lexa and back again when Lexa just shrugged.  He gave up with a disapproving frown.“You’re not getting my hammock.”</p><p>“Keep it.” Clarke grabbed the fur off of the bed and laid it right in front of Lexa’s bed. "I'm fine here." Just like that she curled up into the blanket and closed her eyes. Nothing more to discuss. Lexa wondered if she should offer Clarke to share the bed, but it was so small they wouldn't fit without touching and she worried about not being able to sleep at all with Clarke so close. </p><p>Lincoln turned off the lights without any further comments, only huffing something under his breath as he climbed in his improvised bed. The room was dark and quiet now, no sign of all the tensions that hung in the air only moments ago. Lexa still felt all the emotions and questions swirling in her mind but she was also feeling terribly tired.  She pulled the blanket over herself, turning to her side. All things considered, the day could’ve gone worse. </p><p> </p><p>~~~~~~oOoOo~~~~</p><p>The Spectator was underway again, almost two days later, and Clarke breathed a sigh of relief as they left the planet behind and were surrounded by nothing but cold darkness again. She needed to get her own ship back.To be able to fly anywhere, anytime without worrying that someone would stop her, to be free. She learned long ago that little piece of freedom, of having a ship, a home was the key to finding some sort of serenity in this crazy universe. However so far luck wasn’t too kind to Clarke in regards to getting her ship back, all those failed jobs, medical bills for Jasper, then the cluster fuck of a last job, the one Clarke took alone… And now whatever she was doing with Lexa. She almost got the kid two days ago. For a moment there she thought that she did get her killed and the mix of shame, guilt and loss she felt at the idea terrified her still. </p><p>Lexa was never supposed to get seriously hurt in her plans Clarke reasoned with herself.</p><p><em>  What did you think would happen to her when you took all her money and left her in a foreign city defenceless and broke? </em>The more rational part of her mocked. Only ‘real’ problem right now would be if Lexa died on the ship, then Clarke would most likely be investigated and all her warrants would be revealed…. How would she get away?</p><p> But Clarke couldn't bring herself to care about that, her mind kept circling around Lexa. How she didn't deserve any of this and the excuses Clarke told herself before were coming up short. <em>Lexa is rich and spoiled… she is also kind and smart and adorable and most importantly she is certainly running from someone. Was she really all alone, cut off from her family? </em> That idea pulled on some painful strings.</p><p>This was exactly why Clarke didn't want to know things about her in the first place! Never look too closely at the jobs you take to stay alive’ being the rule to live by. Now the knowledge that Lexa was in danger and hiding just made Clarke’s resolve to put herself first as always crumble under the avalanche of guilt. </p><p>She even got the kid shot and Lexa then actually apologized to her, for crying out loud! No, taking Lexa’s money, would be crossing a line that she didn't even know existed but one that shouldn’t be crossed. She would tell Lexa that she had to quit as soon as the ship docked and let her leave with the money she needed to get to Polis or wherever she wished to go. At least that's what Clarke decided to do after receiving Octavia’s message. </p><p>Only two hours before the ship took off Clarke received a reply from Octavia. The news was bad, but some part of Clarke was relieved to read it. The crew ran into some trouble as well and barely got any money from their set up. It meant that they wouldn't have enough to get their ship back even if she did take Lexa’s money. Clarke went through her stuff long ago and knew that the cash was a lot but nowhere near enough on its own. It would've been enough if the others did their part. But now it meant that she didn't  have to betray Lexa, at least not any more than she already has.</p><p><em> The money would still be a big help to us,</em> the rational part of her whispered traitorously. Clarke refused to listen to it, reason was overrated anyway. She wasn't the good guy, she accepted that long ago but this would be too much pain for too little reward.  It wasn't worth it if it wouldn't get her home back. </p><p> </p><p>~~~~~~~</p><p>Lexa was either recovering miraculously quickly or pretending that she was in a lot less pain to pacify Lincoln. Clarke knew from personal experience how painful getting shot was so she believed the later was closer to the truth. It only made her feel more guilty. Lexa almost died and now she had to suffer without any pain medication because Lincoln only had one dose and they couldn't get anything more without raising questions. </p><p> A whole day had passed since the incident, Lexa slept through most of it, safely back in their cabin, and Clarke only left her side to bring food and once to find out if anyone was talking about the dead men that were found around town. Fortunately they were identified as gang members and the local chancellor  was more focused on what they were smuggling in or out of the planet than who could’ve killed them. It meant that their buddies now had a lot of their own problems and searching for Clarke among the dozens of ships that came and went for the funeral would be low on their list of priorities. </p><p>“Clarke, are you listening to me?”</p><p>“Yeah sorry, what?”</p><p>“I asked if you could bring me dinner, I'm not sure if I can get there and back on my own yet ”</p><p>“Um sure, but didn’t you just eat the broth Lincoln made like, an hour ago?”</p><p>“I’m hungry and it's dinner time.” Lexa shrugged as if it was perfectly normal that an injured person who Clarke might add really was just a tiny girl, eate in a day the amount of rations that could’ve kept a dozen grown men alive for a week. It was strange, but everything about Lexa was strange to be honest. </p><p>“Sure, I’ll go get dinner.”</p><p>“Thank you Clarke. I really appreciate it, I know this isn't exactly in your job description.” </p><p>“Sure. Don't make it weird.” Clarke was just getting more and more uncomfortable with Lexa’s gratitude.</p><p> </p><p>~~~~oOoOo~~~~</p><p>“Did you forget something Clarke?” Lexa asked without looking up from the text she was reading, when the door to their room opened only a few minutes after the other woman left. The voice that answered was far too deep to belong to Clarke however.</p><p>“We need to talk.” </p><p>Lexa almost jumped out of her skin, but calmed down some after realizing it was only Lincoln. </p><p>“Shouldn’t you be at dinner?”  </p><p>“I wanted to talk to you without Clarke around.” Lexa vinced at that, she could understand why. Clarke had been really overprotective since everything happened. Things haven't been as on edge between Lincoln and Clarke since that first night but it still wasn't ideal. </p><p>“I’m sorry about her, she means well.”</p><p>“Hm.” Lincoln huffed, obviously unconvinced. “That is not what I’m here about.”</p><p>“Well what is it?” Lexa asked. He seemed nervous, it was uncharacteristic and disconcerting.</p><p>Lincoln looked at her directly and then simply said “You should be dead.” </p><p>“Ehm.” Lexa didn't feel like he was threatening her, but the words sounded like a threat and her heartrate picked up. </p><p>Lincoln continued, “I couldn't make sense of it. First, I was sure she got you killed. Then you just woke up and started walking about and eating everything you got your hands on as if nothing had happened, outside of a few flinches.”</p><p> “Lincoln I'm sure that-” he didn't let her continue, cutting her off mid-sentence. “I took another look at your blood Lexa.” She froze.</p><p>“I knew the idea was crazy... but so was the way you were recovering. Clarke says it's luck but she is just kidding herself or covering for you. I tested the bloody bandage. You’re a Nightblood.” </p><p>Lexa looked directly in his eyes, focusing on not showing how much his words actually scared her. “You can't tell anyone.”</p><p>Lincoln was dumbfounded  “I can't tell anyone? Lexa, do you even understand how much danger you’re in here?”  Lexa could pick up on real fear behind his words. “What's your story, Lexa? You are educated, clearly from one of the better worlds, but the Coalition isn't protecting you? Do you even know what happens to people like you in these parts of the ‘verse?”</p><p>“I’ve heard stories, but they were very far fetched.”</p><p>Lincoln gave her the same look Clarke always gives her, the ‘you are a naive child’ look. “The ones about how they drain you of your blood and sell it on black market, because they're not just stories. Lexa, your blood can heal almost anything, it's worth a fortune and if anyone finds out and the word gets around you’ll be hunted by every lowlife on this side of the Rim.”</p><p>“The Coalition wouldn't allow such crimes to be committed.”</p><p>“The Coalition doesn‘t have that much power here Lexa; most of the local political powers are the ones willing to pay a fortune for something that prolongs their lives.”</p><p>Lexa couldn't believe what she was hearing; it couldn't be true. She knew she had to be careful, she knew that people were after her for who she was but she never even realised that someone could want her dead for her blood alone, those vere horror stories they told young nightbloods at the conclave to scare them, not something that could actually happen in a civilised world. </p><p>“Are you, going to..” She couldn't finish.</p><p>“No Lexa,”  he paused thinking of his next words carefully before he continued. “I'm only telling you this because you need to understand how dangerous it is.” </p><p>“I see.” Lexa said, trying to settle herself with what just happened. Lincoln breathed in as if preparing to say something but then stopped himself. “What is it?”</p><p>He looked at her again, clearly unsure about what he was about to say next. “Does Clarke know?”</p><p>That question surprised Lexa, she was expecting more bad news. “Uh not yet, I didn't find a way to tell her.”</p><p>“You can't tell her.”</p><p>“Why not?”</p><p>“She's bad news, Lexa. She drinks, she gambles. I've met people like her before and you cannot trust her with this.” Lincoln looked her in the eyes seriously. “I swear to you that I won't tell anyone your secret. But if you value your life you need to put your feelings aside and keep this from Clarke.”</p><p>Lexa didn't believe that Clarke would sell her out. She might've been a little rough around the edges but she was a good person, deep down. She was ready to tell Lincoln exactly that when the door to the cabin opened again. </p><p>“Dinner is served!” Clarke marched into the room, causing lincoln and Lexa both to flinch. “Am I interrupting something?”</p><p>“No.” Lincoln replied coldly, eyes traveling from Clarke to Lexa. “I should go. Take care Lexa.” Then he nodded at Clarke somewhat politely and left. </p><p>“What was that about?” Clarke asked, as she handled Lexa a steamy bowl of “meat stuff.” </p><p>“Uh nothing.” Lexa looked at her bowl, “this is a lot of food,” she noted mostly to change the subject. </p><p>“Uh yeah, I'm not hungry and you seem like you could use the extra portion. Even though I still don't know how someone as tiny as you can eat so much.” Clarke smiled awkwardly running one hand through her blonde hair. “Dont make a thing out of it.”</p><p>Lexa smiled. “Thank you, Clarke.” She was right Clarke acted tough but deep down she was a softie. She wouldn't betray her.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Is Lexa just too damn innocent? I feel bad for her, why would someone do this to her?? (Yes, I know that I'm the one doing it, shut up.)</p><p>I apologize for any mistakes, I tried my best editing this but I'm also half asleep already. Thank you all for reading. Please leave kudos or comments on your way out and have a nice weekend.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. No Thinking</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>As the Spectator approaches it's final destination Clarke has some decisions to make.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>!!Trigger Warning !! mentioning kids being killed, it's not graphic and it is within the 'canon typical violence tag' but just in case that is something that you're not up to, you should skip the conversation in italics at the end. </p>
<p>On a personal note; this chapter was a hell to write so please excuse any mistakes as this is the sixth version of this chapter and I lost a bit of my sanity writing it. (Not that I had much to begin with.) Anyway my beta reader assures me that it works so thank heavens for her. And I hope you'll enjoy the read.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lexa held on to the chess set instead of setting it up, tapping her fingers on the lid nervously. Clarke gave her a questioning look. It has been a strange couple of days, Lexa’s been spending an awfully lot of time with Lincoln and their quiet conversation would stop whenever Clarke entered the room. It didn't take a genius to figure out that they were keeping something from her and the bandit was pretty sure that it wasn't a box of puppies. Did they find out about her warrant? It was unlikely, but if Lincoln went to the captain… They were supposed to land in Arkadia in less than two days. It would be typical for something to go wrong just when Clarke was almost in the clear. Although Lexa was the one to suggest that they could play a game of chess that night her mind was clearly on something else. </p>
<p>“Are we gonna play or do you just want to hold the box?” Clarke asked from her spot leaning against the door frame.</p>
<p>Lexa sighed and then said the words that couldn't possibly mean anything good. “We need to talk, Clarke.”</p>
<p>“Are you breaking up with me?” Clarke joked in a fruitless attempt to lighten the mood.</p>
<p>Lexa looked away, likely to hide the shade of pink that always appeared on her face when Clarke said something that hinted at the two of them getting involved. It was cute, unfortunately it didn't take long for Lexa to get back on track. “Take a seat please,” she told Clarke.</p>
<p>Clarke’s nervousness doubled at that but it was nothing compared to how Lexa’s  following words affected her. “You don't have to lie to me Clarke.”</p>
<p><em>Things are so about to get ugly. </em> Clarke thought. “Alright good to know,” she replied, her eyes instinctively wandering to the door.</p>
<p>“Please stay.” Lexa requested, as if she was reading her thoughts. Clarke complied, taking her usual seat across from Lexa silently. It wasn't like she had a place to run to anyway. Lexa continued. “I know -.” she paused for a second, either choosing her next words carefully or just to torture Clarke who almost passed out from the tension. “.. that you only agreed to come with me to get a free ticket off world.” Clarke nearly choked on her own saliva which caused her to cough awkwardly. Lexa waited for her to be done before continuing. “But you still risked your life for me, you’ve killed people for me.” Her voice was mournful as if Clarke undertook some great sacrifice.</p>
<p>“I did what had to bee done to get us out of here and I almost got you killed in the process so you really have to stop thanking me.” It was clearly the wrong thing to say because Lexa’s eyes turned glassy with tears.</p>
<p>Lexa took a deep breath, looking away and blinking before composing herself. “As I was saying, I know you just wanted to leave Fila and get some money, not put up with some ‘rich kid’ and it's pretty clear that you don't want to set foot in Polis if you can help it and I don't want to waste your time, even though I think that if you actually visited Polis you'd change your mind about it.”</p>
<p>Clarke crossed her arms on her chest. “What are you trying to say Lexa?”</p>
<p>“When we get to Arkadia tomorrow I want to give you the option to leave, I’ll pay you for your services and release you from the rest of our contract, no hard feelings.”</p>
<p>Clarke couldn't believe what she was hearing. “You’re firing me? Do you not trust me?”</p>
<p>“What no Clarke, I trust you with my life.. If you want to stay and finish our deal by helping me get to Polis, I'd be happy to have you “her face went beet red “-come with me, I mean..  that is ugh yes.”</p>
<p>Clarke could imagine what Lexa was thinking,  the girls crush on her was obvious after all and in times like these it even would be attractive,  if the mood wasn't killed by the fact that Clarke was a no good liar who wasn't worthy of sharing a space with Lexa much less to ravish her in rec room.. <em> Don't think about her that way, Griffin you useless shit, no! Bad Clarke!</em></p>
<p>Then Lexa’s words actually registered with her. She was giving her the out she needed and even offering her money she most certainly haven't earned in the least. It was perfect so why was there an urge in some pit of her soul to decline the offer? Was it just her pride; a wish to prove Lexa’s completely accurate conclusions wrong? </p>
<p>“You don't have to give me an answer right now, if you want to think about it, we have time.” Lexa said when she noticed that Clarke wasn’t responding. </p>
<p><em> ‘You said that the men that ambushed us were after you. Who is after you?’ </em>Clarke felt the urge to ask the question that was in her mind for almost a week now. Her gut was telling her that he answer would change everything. But she couldn't bring herself to ask it, what if a bounty was offered for Lexa’s head? Enough money for Clarke to get her life back?  She would buy it with Lexa’s life, what would that make her? </p>
<p>“I need to think about this.” <em>What is there to think about? </em></p>
<p>“Take your time.” </p>
<p>Clarke cleared her throat awkwardly, suddenly unsure what to say, “So chess?”</p>
<p>They played silently, that in itself wasn't unusual but this time the silence didn't feel comfortable nor calming. Clarke would describe it more like suffocating silence that drove her mind into overdrive. Lexa acted as if nothing was wrong but Clarke could tell that she was nervous from the small changes in her mannerism. Weeks of watching Lexa, spending time with her helped Clarke learn to know many of her little tells, the tiny twitch in her jaw when she was annoyed, the way she subtly stretched her fingers when she was nervous. Reading people was an important skill but now Clarke caught herself noticing these tells with fondness, recognizing them as ‘the real Lexa’ instead of just reading a mark, it terrified her. When did this happen? Suddenly she realized what's been right before her for a while. She actually liked Lexa. Not feel bad for her or guilty or even attracted to her but genuinely thought of her with fondness.</p>
<p>Clarke couldn't stand the silence or her own thoughts anymore. To escape them she said the first thing that came to mind. “I bet that you could find a teaching job in Arkadia, as smart as you are. Are you sure you need to go all the way to Polis?”  <em>Why the fuck would you ask that? </em></p>
<p>Lexa looked surprised and stared at Clarke for a moment with her mouth open. “I… Yes. I mean I have to get to Polis.”</p>
<p>“Why?” Clarke pushed, as the old saying goes ‘if you already opened the stase box you might as well eat whats inside.’</p>
<p>“I don't know how to explain. Growing up I was being moved from a  place to place but Polis was the only place that I could always return to… I suppose that it's my home in a way or at least I suppose now it will be my home if I.. get the job there but I have to get there first and then at least I have to try to get it. I owe it to… my family.”</p>
<p>Clarke nodded, silently berating herself for such stupid question. Lexa didn’t belong on Arkadia, even if she was running from someone it didn't mean that she'd want to hide with Clarke’s group and other criminals much less join their escapades. Lexa didn't seem to notice, she moved her knight at the board in a sneaky attempt to catch Clarke off guard before looking up again. “What about you Clarke? Do you have a place you call home?”</p>
<p>“No. Well yes, my ship is my home.” Clarke said moving her tower on the chess board, blocking Lexa’s attempt to get at her queen.</p>
<p>“You have a ship?” Lexa asked and then frowned at the board again. </p>
<p>“Sort of,” Clarke heard herself confirm without really knowing why. “I got it when we left the army, for me and the rest of my unit, the ones who survived and wanted to leave with me, I got the ship for us, it gave us freedom.”</p>
<p>“What happened to it?” Lexa asked, once she made her move.</p>
<p>Clarke shrugged, “We had some bad luck, lost cargo, debts ranked up… I lost her.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry Clarke, that's terrible.”</p>
<p>Clarke nodded. “She was the best ship. A bit smaller than this one but she could fly like no other, kept us safe and moving. Plus my awesome crew…the first job we took it felt like destiny.. all of us just fit there, working for ourselves it was like we finally found our place in the universe.”</p>
<p>“That sounds… amazing. What was your ship’s name?” Lexa asked curiously.</p>
<p>“Titanic.” Clarke replied, thinking back to her twenty one year old self that spent a full week thinking up a proper scary name for a pirate ship.</p>
<p>Lexa gave her a confused look. “Why would you name your ship that?” </p>
<p>“So no one would mess with us; it's named after the mythical titans.” Lexa of all people should know that since she wanted to be a teacher...</p>
<p>Lexa hid her face behind her hands and her shoulders started to shake. For a second Clarke thought that she was crying, then she realized the truth; Lexa was laughing.</p>
<p>“What's so funny?”</p>
<p>“Nothing.” She mumbled through her hands. “Just the name…” Another violent shake took over her body. It would’ve been cute if it wasn’t infuriating.</p>
<p>“What about it?”Clarke growled.</p>
<p>Lexa took a deep shaky breath trying to control her laughter. “In the old world it was considered a synonymous for a ship that sinks and almost nobody gets out alive. I mean it's a scary name in a way..” </p>
<p>“No that's not what the name means!” Clarke protested. Lexa just continued to giggle almost uncontrollably. “Someone told me that..” she paused with a dawning realization. “Oh float them!” Clarke cursed and Lexa laughed even harder.</p>
<p>“I'm sorry” Lexa apologized once she managed to get a hold of herself. “It's really not that funny,” she added, though the way her lips kept twitching up suggested that in fact she did find it that funny. </p>
<p>“Lets just play,” Clarke hummed unhappily. The game carried on quietly for a few more minutes but soon it became obvious that Lexa won once again. Clarke frowned at the chessboard; her king was cornered. Lexa only had to declare her victory but the girl seemed lost in thought. When she did break the silence it wasn't to talk about chess. “I think that I envy you, Clarke. I never had friends or a place to call home like that.” Lexa said quietly. “Traveling with your friends, going wherever you wished… I never really experienced that kind of freedom.” She got up  suddenly very interested in the half empty bookshelves on the opposite wall. </p>
<p>Clarke followed her, feeling a growing sympathy for the girl. “Growing up rich opens a lot of doors but it also ties you up in social expectations, it's up to you what you do with it.” </p>
<p> Lexa shook her head. “I have my obligations.”</p>
<p>Clarke rolled her yes at that. “Don't think about obligations, you didn't even pick for yourself! I bet that those ‘obligations’ are just some bullshit goals that your parents choose for you. What do <em>you </em> want to do Lexa?”</p>
<p>The kiss was surprising, quick but sweet. Lexa pulled away from Clarke just as quickly as she stepped forward, blushing furiously. “I’m sorry I- “ She stammered and went to turn away. Clarke grabbed her hand, stopping her from running,  and before she could think herself out of it, she pulled Lexa close and kissed her. Lexa didn't waste any time responding, deepening the kiss. </p>
<p> What followed Clarke could only recall in a haze, somehow they got to their room without making out like teenagers against every surface along the way but Clarke couldn't be sure how it happened or if they met anyone else on the way. Her mind was too full of the girl for her senses to work properly. All she remembered distinctly was the moment when she had Lexa pressed up against the door of their room holding her hips firmly. Her body was on fire and just Lexa started to trail kisses down her neck in a silent promise of what was to come. </p>
<p>It was the worst possible moment for the little deadbeat voice of her conscience to wake up and kill the mood but unfortunately that was exactly what happened. The memory of Lexa’s lifeless body  flashed in her mind. It felt like getting sprayed with an ice cold decontamination shower. With a groan she brought her hands up to stop Lexa from undressing her any further. </p>
<p>“Wait Lexa,” she panted, still recovering from the emotional whiplash. “We shouldn't do this. I'm not, this won't turn into anything I.” <em> Stars Griffin, don't be fucking a hero. You're both consenting adults here. </em></p>
<p>Luckily it seemed that Lexa was on the same page as Clarke’s libido. “I know Clarke.” One of Lexa’s hands moved to cup Clarke’s face with a gentleness that was in stark contrast with the desperate hungry touches they were exchanging only seconds before. “I don't want to think about anything tonight, can't we just have this one night? No thinking?” Lexa asked with pleading eyes. </p>
<p>Clarke felt an unprecedented flutter in her stomach. Lexa was so… Looking into her eyes Clarke couldn't do anything but agree. “No thinking,” Lexa smiled and  kissed her again. </p>
<p>~~~oOoOo~~~</p>
<p>Lexa woke up to an empty bed. She felt more rested than she had in ages, some of that tension she's been carrying around for months has also disappeared. Whether it was because she had sex or because she had sex with Clarke specifically was anyone’s guess. She still had no idea what possessed her not only to kiss Clarke but also to practically beg her to have sex with her. It was embarrassing just to think about. Lexa didn't do such things, period. She didn't sleep around, she courted women properly, asking for permission before kissing someone at the very least. Not that Clarke had any complaints about the lack of protocol, Lexa smiled fondly thinking of the enthusiastic response that improper behavior got her from Clarke. </p>
<p>Clarke was in the cafeteria, sitting in their usual place. Thankfully Lincoln wasn't there, Lexa was certain that he would somehow know what happened with Clarke just from looking at her and she really didn't need him to be smug about ‘calling it’ as he put it.  Or maybe he would disapprove, now that he thought that Clarke wasn’t trustworthy. Lexa pushed those thoughts away as she joined Clarke with her own food. Smiling lightly at her bodyguard. Clarke’s returning smile didn't quite reach her eyes. “We should be in Arkadia this time tomorrow.” Clarke said instead of greeting Lexa. </p>
<p>“We’re right on time then.” Lexa couldn't understand why Clarke was so gloomy.</p>
<p>Clarke sighed and looked at Lexa with obvious pity. “You were right yesterday, it's better if we part ways when we reach Arkadia.” Lexa froze. “I’m sorry if I-” Clarke started apologizing.</p>
<p> “That is quite alright, Clarke.” Lexa waved her off stoically, even though it felt like her blood had turned to ice in her veins. She wasn't surprised, she had seen this coming, she was the one to make the offer to Clarke yesterday after all... So why did it hurt so much to hear? <em>Did last night mean nothing? </em>They did agree that it was just in the moment but after the act was done Lexa felt like they truly connected. Maybe she really was a naive child. Clarke was looking at her as if she expected Lexa to slap her or break down crying. Lexa pretended like nothing was wrong, forced herself to eat her food even when eating was the last thing she wanted to do. Then she left Clarke and went to find Lincoln, at least he wasn't turning his back on her.  </p>
<p>~~~~~~~</p>
<p>They reached Arkadia safely the next day and Lexa took the time to thank and say goodbye to every crew member she had any sort of regular interaction with. She was genuinely grateful to them but she also admitted to herself that she was trying to stall the unavoidable. Unfortunately eventually she ran out of reasons to stall. </p>
<p>Standing on the busy landing platform with Clarke before her about to say goodbye felt wrong. Still it was for the best. With a heavy heart Lexa paid Clarke for her services, the ex-soldier didn't even bother to check the money, if she had she would have found that it was far more than she requested.</p>
<p>“Thank you, Lexa,” was all she said as she pocketed the money. Lexa nodded stoically and offered Clarke her hand to shake. Clarke’s lips quipped up as she accepted. The touch made sparks of attraction flare up again for Lexa and she wanted to retract her hand quickly but Clarke wasn't letting go. For a second it seemed like she wanted to say something but then changed her mind. It wasn't surprising but it disappointed Lexa all the same.</p>
<p>“I’ll be staying with Lincoln for a few days, figuring out the best way to go from here. If you need something you can find me there. He lives by the Hunters market.” She told Clarke. <em>Stupid scared baby, you’ll be fine on your own, you don’t need Clarke to hold your hand and you most certainly don’t need her, not at all.  </em></p>
<p>Clarke nodded but didn't turn to leave, Lexa was about to ask her if there was something else when Clarke leaned in and kissed her cheek. “Look after yourself kid. It might look civilized but it's still a dangerous place.” Then she had the audacity to wink and walk away without another word.</p>
<p>“Goodbye Clarke, may we meet again.” Lexa called after her, more to herself than to the quickly disappearing figure. <em>This is for the best, </em> she told herself and this time she almost believed it.</p>
<p>~~~~~~~</p>
<p>“She really left?” Lincoln asked when Lexa appeared next to him, watching his boxes of samples be loaded on the rented hovercraft. </p>
<p>“Yes.” She replied emotionlessly. </p>
<p>“And you didn't tell her about..” Lincoln lowered his voice. “Your blood?” </p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>He nodded, Lexa hated that he still thought that he was right about Clarke. She hated even more that she had no way to prove him wrong.</p>
<p>“I would've told her if she decided to stay.” Her hands found their way on her hips petulantly.</p>
<p>“Maybe it's better that she's gone. I know you two liked each other.” </p>
<p>Lexa refused to respond to that, she could only imagine what he would say if he knew just how much they ended up liking each other. “Clarke wouldn't betray me,” she insisted instead.</p>
<p>“Maybe not, but I told you why I don't think you could risk it.”</p>
<p>Lexa nodded thinking back on the conversation they've had four days earlier.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>'Lexa was pacing Lincoln's cabin angrily. “Why should I trust you but not Clarke? She risked her life for me, why would that change if she finds out that I'm a Nightblood?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Lincoln gave her a frustrated look. “It just does. Your blood, it changes the way people think about you! they'll  think that you're holy, it might make them think that you’re personally part of the royal family and want to worship you or punish you for whatever reason or it might make you a prize to be traded for a fortune or worst of all the key to immortality.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Lexa shivered under the weight of his words. “And you? What do you see when you look at me?” She asked carefully.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Lincoln smiled at her sadly. “The girl that knows more about literature and the philosophy of the new worlds than anyone I’ve ever known and knows the best ways to cut through sulfur based minerals, but goes red in the face when the girl she likes walks by in a tank top. I think of you as a friend, Lexa.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“You just said that it changes things for everyone, that I shouldn't tell Clarke...” He was manipulating her, getting her away from Clarke to do something horrible.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“It does. I.. I was raised in a religious family. I never really believed those stories about Nightbloods being able to shine light into darkness or all the old wives tales but I was taught to respect their abilities. Then when I was in the military my unit was sent to attack a rebel base. The fight was over quickly. Turns out that it wasn’t so much a military base as  it was a camp with families and some tech.” He scolded at the memory. “I was with the medics that were dispatched to help the wounded, there were kids among the captives. While we were looking after the kids I found out that there were two Nightbloods among them, brother and sister. I did what I thought was right at the time and told my supervising officer. I thought he'd get them somewhere safe, maybe even have them transported to one of the Core Planets to a Nightblood school… It was a mistake.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“What happened to them?” Lexa asked with morbid curiosity, it was clear from his tone that the story wouldn't have a happy ending.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“The boy died later that night. The man I reported to and some others tried to take some of his blood but they overdid it - by accident or maybe they just didn't care what happened to him... Just wanted to make a buck and get rid of evidence.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Lexa felt tears building up in her eyes. “What about the girl? She whispered.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Lincoln was silent for a moment. “I tried to get her out. I managed to smuggle her into a box on a supply ship that was heading off world. One of the pilots was a friend. I trusted her to get the girl somewhere safe, I couldn't come because it would be suspicious.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>So the girl made it out, Lexa smiled with relief but stopped when she noticed the look on Lincoln's face. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“The supply ship was targeted by pirates. They took the girl, and probably either killed her or sold her to someone who did.” Lincoln was looking at his clenched fists, not facing Lexa anymore as he continued in a broken voice. “I think that part of the reason why I want to help you is that I failed them.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“It wasn't your fault, you wanted to help.” Lexa whispered, her heart breaking for all of them.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“It doesn't matter. If I just kept my mouth shut maybe they would have survived…” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I'm sorry.” Lexa said she felt for the kids and for Lincoln for the impossible situation he was in. Finally she saw Lincoln for who he was: a man who wanted to live a simple life, someone who would fight for the right thing if he could, someone who lost faith long ago. Someone she could trust to help her make this universe a better place. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>As if hearing her thoughts, he looked at her again. “I promise you that I’ll do whatever I can not to fail you like I did them.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Lexa nodded, her decision was made. “You need to understand that you’ll be putting your own life in danger by helping me, possibly even the lives of other people you care about, but also that there's a lot more at stake here than just my life.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Lincoln is watching her carefully. “What do you mean?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Lexa then told him that she was hiding from people who were specifically after her because of her family connections and promised to explain everything to him once they arrived in Arkadia. Both he and Clarke deserved to know the full story if they were sticking around.'</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She didn't believe that Clarke would turn out to be like Lincoln's commanding officer but Lexa had to admit to herself that she was actually a little relieved that Clarke decided to leave on her own because It meant that she didn't have to tell her who she really was. It meant that she didn't have to fear Clarkes reaction. Lexa was under no illusion that Clarke would be impressed by her heritage.  After all Clarke hated the Coalition, If she found out that Lexa was coming back to Polis to ascend to the throne in Luna's place, she would probably never look at or speak to Lexa again. No, her leaving now with hopefully fond memories of Lexa was for the best. This time Lexa believed it.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Is the story over? No, no it's not. I suppose that this could be considered the end of act I.</p>
<p>Note for anyone who actually keeps track of when I update: Next week's update might be delayed by a few days but it's nothing to worry about.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Family</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Clarke reunites with her people but things don't go quite as she imagined.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm alive! I had to turn off for a bit there but I'm back with a new chapter for you all so please enjoy.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Although Clarke detested being trapped on the ground almost as much as she did being trapped inside of a crowded space station, she could appreciate Arkadia’s charm. It’s huge city with varied market place where you could yet anything if you knew who to ask contrasted with the untouched wild woods of the planet. As one of the few worlds that didn't need to be changed to allow life to grow as it had large bodies of water and its own although primitive vegetative life already Arkadia was used to try and save as many natural species from the old world as possible. Resulting in large blocks of greenery filled with wildlife where most other worlds had monotone lifeless landscapes.</p><p>To preserve this state  Arkadia kept it’s population i careful check and the local chancellor wasn’t to be crossed when it came to protection of the planet's natural resources. No animals could be brought in without the proper paperwork and stars help the poor sucker that tried to hunt or fish without a permit. Most people lived in a single colony; enormous city called the Ark, named after the first refugee ship that landed on this world carrying the rare species of trees and vegetation that soon spread all over the world. The Ark has grown into a large colony with over four million people.</p><p>Clarke had her own fake identity as an expert sanitary worker which allowed her to move with freedom through Ark’s streets without getting a second look. The identity was originally created for a single 'on planet' job but when Titanic was seized Arkadia became the center for their small smuggling operation. Clarke’s established sanitation cover and her contacts with other smugglers and a variety of shady merchants helped keep them alive and with a roof over their heads when they lost the Titanic. For two years they've been delivering contraband goods all across the Ark; fooling the border control and trying to save up money to get Titanic back and themselves into the sky. </p><p>Octavia picked Clarke up by the landing port 20F as per their agreement but instead of arriving in a regular dune buggy she was in their ‘hazardous waste transport’ hovercraft. Which could mean that simply someone else was already using the dune buggy or it meant that they were smuggling something. </p><p>Clarke grinned when she got in and Octavia confirmed that they had a shipment to deliver. When Octavia messaged her that they should meet up as soon as she landed Clarke worried what it could mean. If something was wrong Octavia would probably want to give her the bad news privately. Finding out that they would finally get paid instead of some other crisis was a great relief. </p><p>Octavia was Clarke’s second in command and Clarke didn't think twice about leaving her in charge of everything when she left. Maybe they weren't sisters in blood but they've been sisters in arms long before they turned to the life of crime together. Clarke counted herself lucky that she had such a close bond with her people. Many captains wouldn't be able to turn their backs for even a second and  if they had, they would have mutiny on their hands. Clarke’s crew on the other hand weren't any ordinary petty criminals, just in it to make a buck, they shared history, rallied behind a common goal and sacrificed for each other; they were a family in everything but blood. </p><p>“What do you mean they left?!” Clarke half yelled at Octavia, who was driving their hovercraft outside of city limits at a moderate speed. </p><p>“Keep it down would you?” Octavia chided her before she got to explaining how she managed to lose their crew in four months. “When you took off to pull a solo job everything went to shit.”</p><p>“Hey, everything already was shit that’s why I had to go alone!” Clarke defended herself.</p><p>Octavia sighed. “They've been hanging on by a thread for a while, Clarke you knew this, why are you surprised that they didn't stick around when you left us?”</p><p>“I didn't leave anyone! It was a once in a lifetime opportunity that would have gotten us back the ship. I left you in charge!”</p><p>“Don't put this on me. <em>We</em> had a lot of bad luck lately, they got tired of waiting. Nobody had the guts to tell you to your face so when you left they just took the opportunity, some stayed though,” Octavia added.</p><p>“Fuck,” Clarke swore. “Who left?”</p><p>“I'll tell you but you have to promise that you’ll do your best to keep calm and that you won't yell.”  Octavia said seriously.</p><p>Clarke rolled her eyes, like she was some angry tyrant that couldn’t control her temper tantrums. “I won’t yell. And my anger will be appropriate to situation.” she promised. “Now tell me because you’re making me nervous.”</p><p>Octavia still seemed reluctant to speak. Despite her hair being firmly tied together a lonely strand still managed to get loose and flutter around in the wind that was rushing around them as they flew by the changing scenery, she brushed it off her face before finally answering Clarke. “Monty and Harper, they went to  her home world, Harper's father has a farm there, you knew they wanted to settle there eventually they were...”</p><p>“We still have three months to get the ship back. They could’ve at least given us that.” Clarke interrupted her, anger badly contained in her voice. Deep down she heard what Octavia was saying; it was nothing personal.  Nevertheless, it sure felt personal.. Clarke’s crew wasn't just any crew of random criminals that decided to work together. Clarke and her people all served together in the military. They faced horrors together, they sacrificed for each other. When Clarke killed their old captain they backed her. After their unit was disbanded Clarke was the one who saved them from having to sign up again and gave them all a fresh start on her ship. Her crew was the only family she had left and even if it seemed stupid she truly didn't think that they’d actually leave at least not so soon. Not before they got the ship running again. </p><p> Few minutes of silence passed while Clarke chewed on the information and Octavia wisely focused on driving. “They want to start having babies and be farmers. Good for them, they could’ve said goodbye though,” she huffed and after a moment of contemplation added. “We’ll have to find a new pilot when we get the ship back but well be alright, Madi can take over for Monty, she’ll love the promotion.” She wasn't sure if she was trying to convince herself or Octavia. Their lives weren’t over just because two people left. Clarke turned to Octavia who still wasn’t responding. “See I'm dealing with it just fine you didn't have to take me on a ride to tell me.” </p><p>“Uhuh.” Octavia hummed but her eyes remained on the road. No this wasn’t why Octavia was acting so strange.</p><p>“It is just the two of them right?” Clarke asked with a rising suspicion. </p><p>“Well.” Octavia pretended as if she had trouble remembering. Clarke clenched her teeth, trying to remain calm as she promised. “Who else?”</p><p>“Raven.”</p><p>“What?” Raven was, unlike Monty and Harper, completely indispensable. She was the best engineer, she was the only person Clarke would trust to keep her beloved ship flying. </p><p>“She got offered another job.”</p><p>“From who?”</p><p>“I think it's better if you don't know." Octavia replied calmly. "Look, Clarke, I know this is bad but we can still pull through. We got Murphy and Emori and Madi, the kid is still learning but we can find another engineer when we actually have a ship for them to …"</p><p>“Who is she working for, Octavia?”</p><p>“Roan.”</p><p>“She's going to work for Roan. Are you fucking kidding me!?” Clarke shouted. "I’m going to fucking kill her and him, I’ll shoot him in his dumb, fucking face and then sell his ugly, fucking ship for scrap metal!” She shouted and punched the dashboard in frustration. Clarke had more to say on the subject of Raven’s horrible betrayal but she was cut off by a long ear-splitting wail coming from their cargo space. </p><p>“Damn it Clarke,” Octavia cursed, slowing down from their tempo. </p><p>“Is there a baby back there?” Clarke asked in a real horror but her words were drowned out by the high pitched screams.</p><p>Octavia stopped the hovercraft and pointed her finger at Clarke threateningly. “This is exactly why I asked you to keep it down!” They crawled into the cargo space through the secret door on the passenger's side.</p><p>The sounds were coming from a medium sized metallic box with small holes drilled into its sides. Clarke watched it rattle with some concern. But Octavia didn't seem to be worried as she rummaged through her pockets with clear annoyance. Finally she produced a small bag with a single piece of jerky which she then proceeded to shove through one of the larger holes into the box. The high pitched veils stopped.</p><p>“You better pray this works Griffin or I'm putting you in there.” Octavia warned in a hushed voice. </p><p>“What's in there?” Clarke asked, matching her quiet tone.</p><p>“Cage’s shipment," Octavia explained. "It's another hybrid. We've had it in the Nest for three days before it was safe enough to transfer and we all almost lost our hearing for it.”</p><p>Clarke nodded and grimaced in sympathy. It wasn’t the first time they were acquiring animals for that madman. Wallace Cage was a rich asshole who collected all things forbidden by the coalition and had a special soft spot for any genetically modified creatures. Clarke couldn't stand him but he was one of their best customers ever since they lost the ship. Over the years Clarke used every single one of her connections and knowledge of back channels to acquire him all sorts of things. Only once was the job he offered so over the line that they passed it up. </p><p>“What kind of hybrid?” she asked curiously. </p><p>“Pantherda vulpes.” Octavia replied and when Clarke gave her a questioning look she only shrugged. “Don’t ask me it's something freaky Cage wanted.”</p><p>Clarke leaned in closer to the box curiously. “Can I look?”</p><p>Octavia nudged her away. “No.”</p><p>“Just a peak.” Clarke tried again but Octavia was already pushing her back to their seats. “No, come on, I think the sedative worked, let's go. I want to hand it off to Cage before it wakes up again.”</p><p>It wasn’t until a few minutes after the hovercraft started again when Clarke remembered why it had to stop in the first place. “Please tell me you were messing with me and Raven isn't actually joining Roan.” It would be a sick thing to joke about but Clarke wouldn't put it past Octavia. To her disappointment Octavia shook her head. “Afraid not.”</p><p>“How could Raven do this?” </p><p>Octavia  glanced away from the road to look at Clarke briefly. “She's still in range, you can call her and ask her when we get back to the Nest.”</p><p>“Fucking Roan of all people.” Clarke cursed, there was nothing Raven could say to justify joining their sworn enemy. </p><p>“I don’t think it's like that.” Octavia replied with a smirk. Clarke rolled her eyes at the joke.“You’re taking all this awfully calmly,” she didn't bother to try and keep the accusation from her tone.</p><p>“I’ve had a lot of time to process.” Clarke didn't believe that it was that simple for a minute but she had enough bad news for the moment and decided not to press the issue. </p><p>They were almost at their destination. The mountains towered before them menacingly; the sky was too cloudy for them to see the snow covered tops but Clarke could draw the beautiful but imposing tops from memory if she wanted to. Her eyes darted to where the fancy wall sized windows were seamlessly worked into the mountain. Cage’s family was relatively new to Arkadia. Even after ten years the old settlers whose blood helped make Arkadia what it is today looked at them with distrust. The decision to live inside a grand mountain rather than in the city also didn't help and was met with resentment and protests. However it also created jobs and brought in a lot of money to the colony so the Mount Weather facilities were built and regarded with moderate respect. Clarke heard all of this from Emori who spoke about the “Mountain men” with contempt typical for all “native” Arcadians. </p><p>Octavia took them to the service entrance and flashed her fake id at the sensors. Huge stainless steel door opened. As they were entering the mountain Octavia took a swing from her flask before offering it to Clarke as per their tradition. “Here’s to getting out alive,” she toasted. Clarke accepted the drink, repeating the sentiment.  </p><p>Cage was as unpleasant and slimy as ever when he greeted them in his private underground laboratory. Clarke doubted any real science took place there. Cage took pleasure in collecting rare things, usually illegal things and displaying them or playing with them. Four larger cages were built into two walls of the room and secured with reinforced glass. Clarke couldn't see if they had any inhabitants before she turned to the plush couch in the middle of the room where  the tall heir to the Wallace empire raised his drink in greeting. “Clarke, It's so good to see you again. I'm tired of dealing with your underlings.” She saw O’s face twitch, but otherwise she didn't move. Were it anyone else Octavia would be beating them to a bloody pulp by now.</p><p>“My people always get the job done. You know this.” <em>Unless they quit on me without saying a fucking word.  </em></p><p>If he registered her words, he didn't comment on them. Instead he finished his drink in one gulp and practically skipped over to them, his eyes glued to the box that hovered behind them on a fancy Mount Weather loading cart. “Lets see what you got for me.”</p><p>They placed the box on the tiled floor, setting it up so the creature could step out once Octavia activated the mechanism from her wrist pad. They also placed four little grey cylinders at a small distance around it and activated them, creating a temporary force field around the box to keep the animal from attacking anyone but giving it space to be shown off. It was an expensive tech that Raven was able to make work from scraps, Clarke frowned when she realized that they wouldn't be able to repair it without her should something happen. Octavia undid the lock and the box and Cage’s guards with tranquilizers stepped forward. Cage was leaning as close as the field would let him with an excited expression on his face. The door fell open and they all held their collective breaths as the creature stepped out.</p><p>It wasn't what Clarke expected. Cage usually asked for strange terrifying things he could use to frighten or shock people. However this creature was actually pretty small. Clarke wondered why they bothered with a crate when it could’ve traveled in a backpack just as well. However the small size wasn’t the weirdest thing about the creature, it’s big floppy ears on a relatively small head gave it sort of adorable and harmless appearance. Clarke couldn't decide whether it was supposed to be cat or a dog because it’s long fur stuck in all directions, it could be a large rodent with a long tail for all she knew. It certainly wasn’t as creepy as the things Cage usually wanted. The creature looked directly at Clarke and pawed at the force field inducing a fizzling sound from the barrier and  letting out a long drawn out whine, pitiful.</p><p>“What the fuck is that?” Cage expressed what everyone was feeling. </p><p>All eyes turned to Octavia who only shrugged. “It's your shipment; the hybrid that you asked us to get. Now pay up the hundred thousand credits.” Clarke forced herself not to be shocked. If they were smuggling something this expensive Octavia must have invested a lot of their savings.</p><p>“You promised me a hybrid of “Pantherda vulpes.” </p><p>“It is, here are the genetic codes you looked over before.”Octavia handed him the tiny  information tablet. “Names of the science labs were redacted for obvious reasons.” Genetic engineering  across species was strictly forbidden under the laws of the Coalition. </p><p>Cage looked through the documents with a sneer. “This is not the genome I approved!” He said angrily. “They used the recessive genes to make it small.  I wanted something big and scary. This is fucking pocket sized! What am I supposed to do with it?”</p><p>“You'll figure it out. We'll take our payment now.” Octavia said impatient and Clarke wanted to slap her, Cage was a dangerous person to mess with.</p><p>“I’m not paying you one hundred thousand credits for this!”</p><p>“We had a deal!” Octavia protested. </p><p>Cage stepped closer to them, which wasn't threatening in itself but Clarke had seen him chop a man's hand off and feed it to his wolf hybrid before and knew that Cage could go from calm and friendly to fucking terrifying very quickly. </p><p>“Our deal was for a hybrid with these exact genetic parameters.” He showed them the screen where he pulled up the original information next to the current one. The difference was in one letter, Clarke could see how Octavia missed it but cursed her all the same for not paying enough attention. “You either picked up the wrong animal or are trying to make a fool out of me. Is that it, do you take me for a fool?”</p><p>“Of course not.” Clarke jumped in before Octavia could answer. “It's clearly a typo from our contractor. We’ll deal with them accordingly.” </p><p>Cage’s gaze turned to her. “I expected better from you, Clarke.” </p><p>“We are really sorry about this." Clarke apologized with as much regret as she could muster. "You know that you’re my<em> favorite</em> client. I'm sorry that I wasn't around to personally oversee things but I promise you that this won't happen again. How about we give you a discount for this misunderstanding; sixty thousand for this and I’ll throw in the next stimulants shipment for free?”</p><p>Cage unfortunately wasn't to be swayed. “Keep your discounts. I'm not buying this…” he waved his hand above the creature. “It would be a waste of money and resources.”</p><p>Clarke cursed inwardly but kept a smile on her face.“Oh come on. Don't we have a better relationship than this? This is the first time we let you down in how long? Five years, seven? Yeah we messed up a little this time but we both know that the genome is still damn close to what you wanted. You can use it for experiments and we both know you don't really care about the money. While if you don't take this, I'll lose a fortune which means I won't have money to bribe the right people and that could seriously damage not only my business but our future dealings...”</p><p>Cage watched her thoughtfully before he threw his head back and laughed. “I do like you Clarke. You’re not like those other sewer worms! You think about the big picture.” Clarke forced herself to continue smiling while Octavia clenched her fists next to her. “But I'm not taking this fluff ball. I do however value our relationship and I’m willing to give you a chance to  make it up to me and profit at the same time. I wouldn't want the relationship to end on such bad terms after all. So what would you say to two million credits, Clarke?”</p><p>Clarke blinked in surprise. “That it seems like one hell of a compensation for one hybrid.”</p><p>“No, it has nothing to do with this waste of genome,"  he denied. "I'm willing to offer you a new business opportunity as a compensation for this unpleasantness.”</p><p>“A job that you'd pay us two million credits for?”</p><p>Cage flashed her his predatory grin, showing off his whitened teeth. “I want a diamond. You're going to steal it for me and in return you'll receive two million credits through the usual channels.” </p><p>“I assume that this is not just any diamond?”  Clarke guessed.</p><p>“Of course not, it's a geological marvel that our precious Coalition loving chancellor uses to show how much better than the rest of us she is.”</p><p>Clarke smiled. One of the reasons they worked with Cage for so long was that he detested the Coalition as much as they did. “Tell me more.”</p><p>~~~~~~~</p><p> </p><p>Clarke and Octavia had to take the long way back to the city because their highly illegal cargo was still with them and they ran out of tranquilizers. They had to wait at the side of the road for it to calm down before continuing.</p><p>“We should've just left it with Cage,” Clarke complained. “What are we going to do with it now? Eat it?”</p><p>“We're not eating it!" Octavia protested. "It cost us fifty thousand credits to get here and weeks of suffering! The Punie’s idiot of a smuggler dropped it from thousand feet and Murphy and I had to keep it alive in the woods for two days because our shitty transport broke again. You don't want to know what we had to do to survive before Emori and Raven found us, Clarke.”</p><p>“I really don’t. But I do want to know why you wasted fifty grand on a shipment and didn't make damn sure that it was all in order?”</p><p>“I was dealing with a lot of shit at the time Clarke! While you were out on a fucking vacation!” Octavia whisper-yelled at her captain.</p><p>Clarke sighed. “But who are we going to sell it to here? Cage knew he could low ball us because he's the only rich asshole who's willing to risk this kind of stuff.”</p><p>“That we know of,” Octavia pointed out. “There's plenty of rich people on this planet, Clarke. We just need to find one that wants an especially fluffy coat or something. Trust me rich people love rarities.” Clarke hoped that she was right.</p><p>Clarke and Octavia rode past all the heavily populated districts before finally landing their vehicle in what was known as the Devil’s fields. This district was originally intended for chemical engineers and their families to settle down at and it worked for a few decades before a small mishap resulted in a series of explosions and chemical leak that killed hundreds of people, burned through constructions and left the whole city smelling of sulfur and burned rubber. The smell quickly faded from the Ark as a whole however the old chemical district somehow retained the specific scent even decades later. That unfortunate fact combined with rumors that the area was haunted by evil spirits lead to massive depopulation of the area to the point where nobody in their right mind wanted to live there much less open up their business there so entire blocks of burned buildings went unpaired even after the area was technically no longer hazardous. </p><p>Octavia stopped their hovercraft in their usual place right before the building of an old fashioned church. It was one of the few structures that was repaired after the great fire, sponsored by kind upper class patrons who preferred to be generous by giving to the church instead of to the grieving families that lost their homes. In the end the church had to be closed on a count of rumors that it was cursed and also because nobody wanted to deal with the smell that still lingered there as well. </p><p>Many years after the parish dispersed to different parts of the city, Emori joined Clarke’s crew and suggested the abandoned place of worship as an excellent hiding place to store hot products before they could fence them. When Titanic was taken from them it became their technically legal base of not so legal operations affectionately named the Nest. Or it was because of the large rats nest they were forced to fight for resources when they first moved in, Clarke wasn't actually sure where the name came from. </p><p>Clarke left Octavia struggling to move the box without waking up the animal inside, and walked up the church steps. It was only slightly less rundown than the rest of the neighbourhood and the plumbing was utterly shit but  Clarke still was happy to see it again after all the mess and uncertainty of the few weeks. </p><p>The doors were one of the few things they actually bothered to repair after moving in, making it so that it only could be opened by a specific code or with enough explosives. There was a sign on the door that read <em>‘God’s dead, go home.’ </em> Clarke pushed it aside to reveal the hidden panel behind it, punching in the combination. The mechanism beeped approvingly before the door folded into itself. <em>Home sweet home, she thought bitterly.<br/></em></p><p>The building was just as rundown on the inside as it was on the outside, benches for the congregation were long gone now was one side of the large room lined with hanging cots for the crew to sleep in and the large side represented the work/living space. Music played from ancient speakers on one of the work benches filling the room with the cheerful tunes of old rebel folk songs. Clarke smiled when she noticed the rest of her crew was all there. John Murphy at his usual spot in their “the kitchen corner” where the choir stands used to be, singing along the lines of the old browncoat song while stirring the pot with what was presumably to be their dinner. Emori, his wife, sat on the floor in the center of the room with pieces of tech scattered around her, presumably cleaning them with little Madi next to her. The youngest member of their crew was glancing between the pieces of tech and her reading pad, probably looking for a specific part they needed.</p><p>“Glad to see that you lot didn't burn this place to the ground yet.” Clarke said as she stepped further into the room, bringing all eyes on herself instantly. </p><p>“Look, it's our fearless Captain! Here to tell us that we can finally get back to the sky at last!” There went the question whether Octavia told them about her failed mission. </p><p>“Shut it Murphy,” she returned with almost no force. </p><p>“Clarke, you’re back!” Madi yelled, jumping up and rushing to pull Clarke into a tight hug. Clarke faltered from the force of it but returned the sentiment with a light pat on the girls back. She almost expected Madi to be mad at her for leaving too, the girl was in her early teens now after all and some resentment would be normal but Madi seemed genuinely happy to see her. It was nice.</p><p>“I am, kid. It's good to see you,” Clarke said sincerly.</p><p>Murphy walked over breaking up the reunion. “Hey, can we talk about how you managed to not only lose the money but to also set your borrowed ship on fire?”</p><p>“No," Clarke grimaced. "I'm far too sober for that story.”</p><p>“Oh come on, you had such a brilliant plan!" Murphy pushed with obvious glee. “Can you believe she won't tell us how it all went wrong, wifey?” He turned to the woman next to him who pushed him off playfully. “Don't drag me into this.” She turned to face Clarke with a friendly smile. “Hi captain.”</p><p>“Hi, Emori. I see that you still didn't realize that you could do better.” Clarke looked between her and Murphy suggestively but she also felt like the words could be applied to herself.  </p><p>“I don't think I could, captain.”  Emori replied seriously, answering both Clarke’s comment and the questions she didn't ask. </p><p>Then Octavia walked in pushing the carrier before her and Murphy's face went white. “Tell me that the box is empty!” He pointed at Octavia but kept his voice much lower than before. </p><p>“No.” Octavia hissed angrily. “Cage screwed us.”</p><p>Murphy crossed his arms. “And were just letting him do that?” </p><p>All eyes turned to Clarke who raised her hands defensively. “There was a typo in the first genome pattern you guys gave him. He expected the hybrid to be big and scary like always. If we forced him to pay up we'd risk losing more business in the best case and having him shoot us dead then and there in the second best. Besides he offered us a much more lucrative job in turn for this mishap.”</p><p>“And we trust him?” Emori questioned.</p><p>“He's been our best client for years, I don't think he's turning on us now. But if we take it, we’ll take some precautions to make sure he pays up.” Clarke answered.</p><p>Octavia jumped in.“You're leaving out the part where it's impossible to do this job.” </p><p>“Raven always says that nothing is impossible if you have enough explosives and sheer-dumb-luck.” Madi offered helpfully from her place at Clarke’s side.</p><p>Octavia rolled her eyes but didn't argue with the logic; she instead activated her wrist-pad to show the hologram advertisement for the event that Cage gave them so everyone could take a look. </p><p>“Arkadian Muzeum of Planetary Minerals?” Emori read, arching her brows.</p><p>“He wants us to get the main event, the luminescent diamond!” Octavia pointed to the cursive words announcing the highlights of the exhibition. </p><p>“This thing is going to be protected as fuck, how will we get anywhere near it?” Murphy asked.</p><p>“No idea but, he’ll give us two million credits for it.” Clarke replied looking over the flickering text. </p><p>Murphy whistled. Madi gasped. Emory eyes shone with excitement. “With that kind of money..”</p><p>“We could pay off the debts and go wherever we wanted,” Clarke finished for her. “Even if you and John want to settle down somewhere on your own, you'd be set.”</p><p>“Don't talk about me like I’m not here.” Murphy complained but took Emori’s hand into his. “No one is talking about settling down, yet.” </p><p>Clarke nodded but the look the couple shared  told her that it wasn’t the whole truth. “Of course not, we don’t have the money yet.”</p><p>“First we need to plan a heist!” Octavia said with an excited grin. </p><p>“Can we do that after dinner?” Clarke asked, glancing to the little stove where a pot of something deliciously smelling sizzled. “I’m starving.”</p><p>“Shit, my yams!” Murphy cursed, running back to the pot to save their meal from overcooking. </p><p>After months of nutritious food packets Clarke was in heaven when she loaded her plate with fresh vegetables and actual meat. The family meal wasn't as sad as she’d expect it to be seeing as almost half of their crew mates were missing. They still joked, talked about the light things that happened in the past few months avoiding the topic of those empty seats with practiced ease. </p><p><em> Even Lexa would like this food. </em>Clarke caught herself thinking and then she forced herself to listen to a story Emori was telling instead because it didn't matter what Lexa would think about anything. Or where she was or what she was doing. It didn't matter that she was very likely still in town, that Lincoln was probably taking her to some fancy dinner with cloth napkins and real candles on tables and shit. Clarke wasn't thinking about any of that.</p><p>Once all the food was gone and dishes cleaned. Madi went to practice her  knife throwing skills with Octavia while Emori and Murphy moved the hybrid into the larger cage they had in the back office which they used as a storage room. Unfortunately the move did little to muffle the long wails of the animal. </p><p>“We have to kill it.” Murphy announced when they returned and the screams still carried through the closed doors. “It could still be worth something.” Emori argued and took Murphy’s hand into hers. “Lets just draw out the sounds.” She turned up the speakers and played one of the fast paced songs, swaying into rhythm. Murphy seemed annoyed but joined her all the same. Clarke watched them dance and laughed when Madi ran up to join them. Then even Octavia came over and pulled up Clarke to join them. “Cheer up, captain, it's a party!” Clarke reluctantly let herself be twirled under Octavia’s arm and joined the wild uncoordinated dance. She wondered if any of them would stay if they got the two million credits...</p><p>Eventually they all tired out, even the hybrid stopped crying out from the other room, and Clarke sat down to look over all they had about the exhibition carefully.  She wasn’t going to read the announcement of the event again but as she was scrolling past it a small text at the bottom of the advert caught her eyes. </p><p>
  <em>'The exhibition was made possible by the generosity of the Scott family. Research and Lectures are lead by an expert in the field of interstellar minerals, doctor L. Scott.'</em>
</p><p>Clarke smiled, some higher power was looking out for her, she nudged Octavia who was sitting next to her; fully engrossed in looking up floor plans of the museum. “I have an idea how we can do this.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>((( In case anyone is wondering what the hybrid Clarke and her crew got stuck with looks like, I actually did a drawing of it. )))</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Since this was all Clarke's POV next time we'll catch up with Lexa.<br/>As always: thank you all for reading and please remember that comments and kudos are greatly appreciated.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Lexa's walk</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Lexa tells Lincoln her story and then takes a little trip through the Ark.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>My betas are either sick or busy so you all have to deal with the mess that I created with no surpervision. Consider this a chance to see what my poor betas usually go through... Good luck to us all!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lincoln watched her in utter disbelief. “You're Alexandria?”</p><p>“Yes.” Lexa confirmed, feeling the weight of the secret lifting off of her chest.</p><p>“The future emperor?”</p><p>“Maybe… If the spirit chooses me and if I can make it to Polis in the first place.” Lexa explained and Lincoln’s face shifted from shocked to carefully neutral. Lexa knew that look. “You don't believe me,” she accused him.</p><p>“It's not that I don't trust you, it's that it's simply not possible.” He raised his hands up in a defensive gesture. “How could you be Alexandria? Why would Alexandria be here? The royal family never travels alone much less the future emperor.”</p><p>“Luna was the heir to the emperor and whoever she would have chosen as her apprentice would be the one next in line.” Lexa reminded him. “I was never supposed to be the one to ascend.”</p><p>“Your face would still be known, no one of the royal blood can travel in secret!” He objected and taken to passing around his study; presumably to calm himself.</p><p>“Unless they swore themselves to the church.” </p><p>Lincoln froze, then he grabbed his reading tablet. Clarke would probably call the room rich people nonsense but to Lexa it was pleasant, if quite modest. “What are you doing?” She eadged closer to him to also catch a glimps of the screen.</p><p>“Looking up if Alexandria is the one who pledged herself to church.”</p><p>Lexa waited for him to look through the database and frown when he found the confirmation of her words. “It's actually a bit more complicated than that,” she added, pointing over his shoulder to the compacted bio of Alexandria IV. “I was supposed to have a life of my own. Luna made it possible for me to go and study under a pseudonym at a university on Aramidi. It was top secret of course but I've done well there and I wanted to continue as a researcher for space exploration at a one of the coalition fleet outposts in deep space.”</p><p>“You joined the Coalition fleet without the royal family knowing?” he questioned.</p><p>Lexa shrugged. “Luna knew, the emperor, the keeper of the flame both knew and so did my personal bodyguard of course.” </p><p>“So what happened?”</p><p>Lexa spend the last week preparing for this conversation but she still felt her hands shake and her heart race when it came to it. She took a long deep breath preparing herself before diving into the story. “I started my new job on a science fleet ship less than five moths ago. I made it to the deep space outpost as a regular member of the research division… for a week and two days I was helping to chart new energies and process data, learning to pilot a shuttle around a black hole simulation... It was amazing. Unfortunately I didn't even get through the basic orientation when a ship came to get me. It was categorized as a transport medical ship, only their authorizations did not match. It was my personal guard even though I wasn’t supposed to be contacted at all for until my first six months in.” Lexa couldn't stop the memory of the look on Gustuse’s face when he gave her the news from coming up before her eyes, it still hurt to think about. She forced herself to go on. “They brought me the news of Luna's death. The public didn't know yet at the time. Family needed to be informed first and I was supposed to be brought back to Polis for the funeral. The emperor wanted me to be confirmed as the new heir as soon as possible. So they send a fast inconspicuous ship to pick us up from the transport and get me home.”</p><p>“You ran away from them?” Lincoln asked quietly.</p><p>“Yes, but not the way you think. I told you that the ship that came to get me was disguised. My stay with the fleet was supposed to remain a secret and until Luna's death was properly investigated the emperor wanted me to be quietly protected. Unfortunately someone must've found out. My ship was intercepted and attacked only a day after I boarded. We tried to lose them but they outnumbered us greatly, they even had official warship. They asked for my instant surrender on orders of the emperor. It was an obvious lie,” Lexa snorted. “I don't believe the emperor had anything to do with it… but it didn't matter. We couldn't call for help because they jammed our frequencies and we were no match for them. I couldn't do anything to stop it.” Lexa stopped talking to wipe her eyes from the unwelcome tears but she couldn't stop them from flooding out.” Lincoln took her hand and she hugged him tightly.</p><p>“He sacrificed the whole ship for me,” she whispered into his shoulder. The faces of all those people who laid down their lives for her still hunted her every night.</p><p>“Who did?” Lincoln asked gently, pulling her back to the present. </p><p>“Gustus, he was my bodyguard since I was a child and one of the best admirals our fleet has ever seen.” She smiled thinking of him, people found him terrifying but deep down he was a sweet soul. “He lured the attackers close, saying that they would surrender me and then blew up the whole ship, the energy wave destroyed everything in its vicinity most of their ships went down, the war ship was damaged and in all the rubble and destruction nobody could track my escape pod. Fila was too close to us and some of the wreckage were pulled by it. You've probably heard the unexplained explosions in the outer atmosphere; it was the wreckage of my ship getting burned up or shot at. I crash landed, then ditched the escape pod and started walking. I met Clarke at a bar a few days later and you know the rest of the story.”</p><p>Lincoln was quiet for a long time, processing all the information Lexa put on him. “That's insane,” he said finally. “But it does oddly all fit together.”</p><p>“So you believe me?” Lexa pulled away from his embrace to look at his face.</p><p>Lincoln’s answering laugh was almost maniacal. “Stars help me, I do.”</p><p>“You can take your time on deciding whether you still want to help me.”</p><p>“I don't need more time, I still want to help you however I can.”</p><p>Lexa couldn't describe how grateful she felt in that moment so she only hugged him again.</p><p>“So does everyone think you’re dead now?” He asked after a moment of silence. “How hasn't there been an announcement?”</p><p>“I hoped that whoever is after me would think so but I think that they tracked me to Deimos.”</p><p>“Do they have your alias?  He asked, if it was the casa they would be able to track her easily. Lexa shook her head. “No only Gustus knew the one I’m using now.” She took a deep breath, preparing to give up one of the last secrets she had been keeping. “When we stopped at Deimos for Mourning I went to their communications tower and tried to contact an old friend. I used a special channel that shouldn't be accessible to anyone. I wasn't sure if the fraction that tried to kill me realized that I survived the explosion but they must've because as soon as I made that transmission there were men after me. One of them shouted that their boss wanted me alive… I don't know what for but it would explain why they wanted my people to hand me over before as well.“</p><p>“You think they tracked you to Deimos? Or just happened to be monitoring the channel you used to contact your friend?”</p><p>“I thought about it but they couldn't have known where I was before. Their presence on Deimos might've been an accident but as soon as I used the channel they knew where I was…”</p><p>“You think that your friend is the traitor?”</p><p>“No Anya wouldn't do that!”</p><p>“People do horrible things to get more power or money, Lexa.”</p><p>“I know that, someone in my family is trying to kill me. But Anya practically raised me!" Lexa's voice came laiced with fire. "Maybe someone close to her is one of the traitors and monitored her channel…”</p><p>“It still means that you can't contact her again..” he pointed out as Lexa hoped he would.</p><p>“Not directly. No.” She smiled at him timidly. “I have a plan that will require some assistance from your part but I wanted you to know all the facts if you decide to help me. I don't want any more people to die for me but there's so much at stake here, Lincoln.”</p><p>“What do you need me to do?” he asked and Lexa's smile grew. Her first day at Lincoln’s was nearing to close and just maybe it wasn’t going to be a flaming disaster after all.</p><p>~~~~~~~</p><p> </p><p>Lexa adored Arkadia. The large market place was so full of life just like Polis but the atmosphere was different. Less official and shiny. There were plenty of old rusty things and Lexa saw so many code violations that it made her head spin but it didn't annoy her as much as it used to. Now it reminded her of Clarke. She constantly caught herself looking for her in crowds always feeling disappointed when a blond lock of hair turned out to belong to someone else. She's been staying with Lincoln for four days now and despite all the pressure on her to get home and become a leader to her people she had surprisingly little to do with herself. Lincoln was busy with his own work which left her with a lot of free time and little to do other than wait to see if her plan worked at all. </p><p>Not that there wasn't anything to do, Arkadia had plenty to marvel at, and Lexa was excited at first to explore it. Or at least to stretch her legs in open spaces again she was going crazy after all that time indoors. But something changed within her and she didn't feel comfortable in crowds anymore, it was unlikely the killers would find her again when she didn't use any tech and covered her face with a scarf but the tiny little voice, wondering what if, was always in the back of her mind. It was why the first time she tried to go out alone she ended up back inside after ten minutes and filled the rest of the day helping Lincoln’s butler in the kitchen.</p><p>Still, she would drive herself crazy if all she did for a week was sit on a couch and read the news obsessively as she has been for the past three days. So today she decided to dedicate her day to overcoming her fear and discovering the Ark. Starting with the Market and seeing where her curiosity took her. It was full of movable booths offering all sorts of things. One corner even had sacred talismans that would save you from “space whales.” Lexa passed it without any further investigation, she walked quickly and without any real purpose just taking turns to wherever her feet lead her.</p><p>Then one booth with rather loud salesman caught her attention. “Special tours through Arkadian wildlife. See live bears from the safety of our viewing pod!” Lexa stepped closer, peering at the displayed pictures curiously, she was always fascinated by animals. “Young lady, are you interested in seeing some of the saved species from the old Earth up close?” The middle aged man asked with a bright smile. “Only 70 credits for a day trip and 200 for overnight stay.” “Is this your first time on Arkadia, miss? You certainly don't want to miss seeing our nature reserves!”</p><p> “I-” Lexa started but couldn't find any excuse she could give the man. She wanted to go, she had nothing else to do, the odds of it being a trap designed by her enemies were very low. Come on live a little, voice sounding suspiciously like Clarke whispered to her.</p><p> “No thank you.”Lexa pushed off the temptation and thoughts of Clarke. “Maybe another time.”</p><p> Her answer had no effect on the man's bright smile. “Sure thing, miss, just remember that there are no better tours than Ark's fishermen! We go back to the first settlers,” he yelled after her as she stepped away from his booth.</p><p>Lexa finally left the market place behind her after a twenty minutes walk and entered the wide streets of the inner city where the building grew much taller, blocking the light noticeably and shuttles maneuvered between them with impressive speed. Lexa chose to remain on the ground instead of trying to navigate one of the raised roads that spiraled between the buildings. She stuck to the sidewalk on a main street to keep herself on one track, mingling between groups of tourists and fast paced locals.</p><p>Lexa started to wonder whether she should turn around or perhaps look for a place to get a bite to eat when she heard someone crying out from one of the side alleyways. “Help, somebody, please!” Came the desperate cry from a side alley she just passed.</p><p>There were people walking next to her who turned their heads at the sound but then kept walking. Another scream came from the same direction and Lexa ran towards it without another thought. The side alley was narrow and very dark because of a walk about that was several feet above it. Lexa ran further in following the cries for help to until she noticed a person lying on the ground, curling up in obvious pain over their stomach, Lexa winced in sympathy. If they were injured by someone the, attacker seemed to be gone already.</p><p>Lexa ran up to lean over the injured person. “What happened, are you in need of a medic?” she inquired, already thinking of the best way to call for help. The person turned to her and suddenly Lexa had an old fashioned firearm pointed at her face. “Give me your money, your i.d. and your wrist pad! Now.”</p><p>Lexa felt a wave of anger rising from within her at the horrible realization. “You pretended to be injured? What is wrong with you!?” She accused the man behind the gun.</p><p>“Got you to come here, didn't I? Now give me your fucking stuff!” he barked at Lexa, his hand with the gun was shaking wildly. Lexa wasn't sure if it was nerves or some underlying condition. She made a move to reach her pocket. </p><p>“Slowly, try something and you’re dead!” The man warned. Lexa slowly finished her gesture as instructed, reaching inside her pocket and handing the robber all the cash she had there. Fortunately it wasn't much since she learned her lesson about walking around with cash. The man snatched it from her with his free arm, he was standing very close to Lexa who glared at him angrily in turn. She couldn't believe that someone would sink so low. </p><p>“What if someone who actually needs help next time wont get it because of people like you taking advantage of the blue call law?” She asked him angrily.</p><p> The man was utterly thrown by the questioned and his hand with the gun shuddered violently again. “What?” </p><p>“You shall always answer a cry for help.” Lexa cited.</p><p>He smirked at her. “That's only like in space.”</p><p>“No, it applies to all calls of distress. It's one of the commanded laws of the elected emperor.”</p><p>“Do I look like I give a shit? Give me your wrist pad and jewelry.”</p><p>“I don't have a wrist pad.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“I left it at my friends place.” Lexa lied, she simply didnt have one to remain untraceble.</p><p>“Bullshit.”</p><p>Lexa showed him her bare wrists. “You may search me, I don't have it.” </p><p>“No fucking way.” He turned over Lexa's pockets. Cursing at her all the while. Lexa waited patiently for him to find out she wasn't a liar, take the money and go, this one time she didn't want any unnecessary trouble. Then she noticed a shadow of a person that seemed to be jumping from the upper level to the at the edge of the alley behind the robber's back. She wanted to get a better look to see of it was an actual person or just a trick of light when the man noticed the knife hanging on her belt and decided to grab it with his filthy hand. The blade shined as it was being pulled out of its place at Lexa's side and she felt as if someone dumped a bucket of cold water over her. “This is fancy,” the man remarked. “Put that back.” Lexa ordered reflexively; the man’s grin widened. “That blade is the only thing I have left of my mentor. You cannot have it,” she explained to him with forced patience.  “Are you willing to get on your knees and ask me nicely?”</p><p>Lexa narrowed her eyes.“Hand me the knife,”  she ordered again. The man glanced at Lexa’s awaiting palm in shock from the gesture and that sudden change in tone. Lexa took the gun from him with her other hand in a single swift motion, hitting him in the face with it.</p><p>His response came too slow to do him any good, by the time he truly realized what was happening Lexa already dislocated his shoulder, prided the knife from him and gave him a good kick in his privates for the insulation he had made.</p><p>Lexa carefully took her money back from him and then stood upright to consider the man who was now howling in pain on the ground with tears in his eyes. “Count yourself lucky that I'm not calling the authorities on you. Hopefully someone will hear your distress calls and come and help you pop your shoulder back  in. I'm taking your gun and your knife though because I don't think you should walk around with weapons if you're a danger to your environment.”</p><p>Lexa nodded to herself, satisfied with the outcome and ignoring his muttered curses. She stepped over him to make her way out of the alley only to nearly barrel into a girl in her early teens who stood in her way with a short knife in hand as if she manifested from the shadows. Was she part of the attack? Using children as back up? How much lower could the man possibly sink? To Lexa’s surprise the girl smiled brightly at her. “That was awesome! You really took him down well for a fancy lady!”</p><p>Lexa was confused by her but the pure admiration in the girls eyes made her think that maybe this wasn't part of the mugging after all “Who are you?” she asked, glancing between the girl's excited face and what looked like a very sharp throwing knife. The girl caught her look and actually blushed. “Hey don't worry,” she said, hiding the knife back into her oversized black jacket. “I ran up here to help ya, but you didn't need it. What did you do to his arm?”</p><p>“Dislocated it from the joint.” Lexa replied, still unsure whether to really trust the girl. “It's completely fixable,” she added in regards to the man. She didn't want the girl to think that she had permanently maimed the man.</p><p>“Uh don't worry about that; Svitan is a creepy looser.” The girl shrugged, still grinning as if seeing Lexa injure a grown man and leave him in pain on the ground was somehow hilarious. “We really shouldn't be standing out here on the off chance his friends show up, come on.” Without waiting for an answer she turned on her heel and started walking. Lexa cautiously followed the child in raggedy clothes, deciding to actually listen to her for some reason. Maybe she was in shock again. </p><p>When they stepped onto a busy main street, the girl slowed her step to a casual stroll peering into shop windows and advertisement displays as if she and Lexa were two friends on a walk.  “Do you know the man that I’ve…” Lexa started to ask but wasn't sure how to finish her sentence.</p><p>“Beaten the shit out of?” The girl offered.</p><p>Lexa pursed her lips. “I've defended myself accordingly.” </p><p>“He’s not my friend or nothing. I've seen him around, it's his whole thing. Pretending to need help to mug people.”</p><p>Lexa frowned. “Why don’t you go to the authorities if you know he does this?”</p><p>The kid gave her a disbelieving look. “Why would I do that?”</p><p>“To help people from getting mugged!” The girl opened her mouth to reply and then closed it again, frowning as if she was dealing with a difficult equation. “It's not the way we do things,” she said finally.</p><p> “But you were going to help me?” Lexa asked.</p><p>The girl shook her head. “That is different.” Lexa quirked her brow; about to ask just why is that any different when the child was going with a knife to a gunfight to help Lexa but wont go to the authorities when the girl shook her head. “I shouldn’t be talking to you,” she moved to walk away  but Lexa stopped her, stepping into her path “Wait..” To her surprise the girl actually stopped. Lexa suddenly wasn’t sure how to continue. “I’m sorry what's your name?” </p><p>The girl gave her a long thoughtful look before answering. “Madi.” </p><p>“That was really brave of you coming over to help me like that. Also really dangerous, you should always leave grownups to handle that kind of thing…” Madi rolled her eyes. She was skinny for her age and wore clothes clearly meant for adults but her jaw was set firmly and her eyes had fire in them. Lexa had no doubt that she has been through a lot. Lexa wasn't sure how she could help Madi, if she could help her at all, but she knew she had to do at least something.  “Did your parents tell you not to talk to strangers, is that why you shouldn't be talking to me?”</p><p>“My parents are dead.” Madi replied, just like that, no grief, no crying, just stating a fact.</p><p>Lexa sighed, “I'm sorry. I lost my parents as a child too.” Then she got an idea. “Do you know a good place to get lunch around here; I’m absolutely famished.”</p><p>It took very little convincing to get Madi to bring them to a small restaurant only a few blocks down the street from where they were and soon they were seated opposite each other with several plates full of stuff Lexa didn't know. </p><p>“You really never had Arker’s pie before?” Madi asked with obvious shock before forcing Lexa to get it. They ate mostly in silence because Madi didn't speak much and seemed to be too busy eating with impressive speed anything and everything that was put before her. </p><p>“What should we get for dessert? Lexa asked when they cleared their plates, to the shock of the waiter who only turned his back on them for a minute after setting the food down. </p><p>“You already bought me food.” Madi reminded her as if Lexa would have forgotten something like that after twenty seconds. Lexa shrugged, “Desserts are an important part of any meal.” </p><p>The corner of Madi’s lips quirked up.</p><p>“What is it?” Lexa encouraged. </p><p>Madi seemed to make up her mind then. “Do you know ice cream?” She asked Lexa very seriously.</p><p>Lexa smiled. “Yes, I do know about that.”</p><p>Madi’s face lit up. “There's this place at north hill, that makes the best ice cream in the whole city. We’d have to take the train though. You probably don't have the time for that,” she worried.</p><p>“I have a few more hours and I can't think of a better way to discover the city than getting the best ice cream.  Won't someone miss you?” </p><p>“Oh no,” Madi hurried to respond. “I'm supposed to….. I just need to be home by nightfall to feed… our cat.” </p><p>“I see.” Lexa said, wondering who would be so irresponsible as to leave a child wandering around the city alone with no supervision and nothing but a throwing knife to defend herself. </p><p>~~~~~~~</p><p> </p><p>Lexa never actually used the public transport in Polis or any other core planet she visited. <em> It's far too dangerous and crowded and filthy, Lexa. Why would you suggest such a thing? </em> Anya reprimanded her that time she dared to suggest it. Sitting next to Madi in one of the sleek trains she found out that it wasn't bad at all. The train moved quickly on the tracks above the city and yes, admittedly should some kind of accident happen, the fall wouldn't be pleasant for anyone at all. Madi seemed perfectly at ease. </p><p>“Do you use this train often?” Lexa asked. “When I need to,” Madi replied. Most of the things she told Lexa followed the same theme short and avoiding revealing too much, Lexa couldn't really fault her for that but it did little to help Lexa get any idea if Madi wasn't being neglected or abused. <em>What would you do if she is? Get her killed too? </em>Hateful little voice in head mocked. Lexa pushed it away. </p><p>To get down from the high train tracks they took the same glass transport tube as they did before except Lexa discovered that going down was far worse than being brought up and had to put all her efforts into not turning over the insides of her stomach all over the floor and people’s shoes.</p><p>“Are you alright?” Madi asked when she noticed how pale Lexa had turned. Lexa didn't dare to speak so she gave her thumbs up, a gesture she picked up from Clarke. Madi wasn’t entirely convinced by it but she let it go. Luckily in less than a minute they were back on solid ground.</p><p>The part of town Madi’s favorite ice cream shop was located was different from the crowded market place or the dark inner city where the tall buildings blocked sunlight. The streets were a little wider, the building only had five floors at most and most importantly there were plants everywhere, the roofs, balconies, in shop windows.</p><p>They got the ice cream from a small little store, Lexa expected it to be expensive as she was accustomed to from home but to her surprise it was only four credits for both Madi’s strawberry one and Lexa’s vanilla. Madi nevertheless thanked Lexa profusely as they sat down on a long bench before the store to eat them.</p><p>“It's the least I can do when you were nice enough to tell me about the store. I never would’ve found it without you.” Lexa reminded her and Madi beamed at her. “This is really good.” Lexa sighed, pointing at her ice cream. Madi nodded in agreement. They enjoyed the ice cream quietly side by side after that. Lexa was content, watching the occasional car drive or fly by with lazy interest. </p><p>Unfortunately all too soon they were done eating and it was time to say goodbye. Lexa was a little less worried about letting Madi go. She was definitely something else but she was selfassurd young girl that was confident in her life or at least determined not to let Lexa any closer to it. Lexa could respect that. When Lexa told Madi she had to get back to the market the girl told her that they would have to take the train again to get there, Lexa hoped that her stomach would survive the way.</p><p>She was about to ask Madi where she lived but then their path was blocked by a man that was basically thrown on  the ground before them from a nearby door. Lexa almost jumped out of her skin from the shock of it and instinctively angled herself before Madi and the man; to protect the child if need be. However the man does not spare them a look only glaring at the door he was so forcefully removed from. Lexa followed his look and her jaw nearly dropped when she noticed the sign of the First Nightblood above the door; it was a church door.</p><p>“We don’t want your kind in here.” Shouted a man who stood in the frame of said door with his arms crossed, his head was shaved in a standard priestly manner but he looked neither properly humble nor charitable as Lexa would expect from a man of his stature. </p><p>“Please, I have nowhere else to go!” cried out the man on the ground with desperation so clear in his voice it crashed Lexa’s heart.  He looked to be around Lexa’s age, there was blood coming out of his nose and his lip was split. But that surely couldn't have happened to him on a holy ground of the church.. </p><p>Madi grabbed her hand and pulled Lexa to the other side of the street, whispering to her. “Come on this is going to be trouble.”</p><p>The church door slammed shut with but the bleeding boy didn't take the rejection and went to bang on the door with hysterics. “You have to help me, you have to! I can't live like this!”</p><p>Madi wanted to continue walking but Lexa stood frozen. “Why won't they help him?” she whispered. “He’s a lost soul.” Madi answered her quietly.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Not right in his head. Demons speak to him, make him sick, take a piece of his mind and don't give it back.” Madi explained.</p><p>Lexa realized what she was talking about. “Star madness?”</p><p> “Captain says that the priests are the only ones who can fix it.” Lexa nodded, the ancient art took great discipline, special talent and most importantly couldn't be taught to common folk. </p><p>“The priests have to help him, they took an oath.” Lexa pointed out and resisted when Madi tried to tug her away again. “Look, an officer, he's going to make them help him.” Lexa teld Madi, feeling relieved. That feeling only lasted a second unfortunately, because the man in uniform barely exchanged a sentence with the crying young man before kicking him away from the church steps.</p><p>“You have five seconds to get out of here before I arrest you for disturbing peace!” The man tries to get up with a sob but his whole body is shaking from the stress, Lexa has seen this at the temple hospital wing before but people like him were always being helped quickly. Here nobody seems to care. The priest shut the doors on him and people just keep passing by the horrific scene with pretend disinterest. Then the officer kicked him again,“Move it.” </p><p>Lexa doesn't think, her body moves as if on its own, she could hear Madi’s yelling after her but she didn't stop until she was stepping up to the officer. “Why isn't this man being treated, he needs help?” she demanded.</p><p>“Not my problem.” The officer sneered at her. “He’s not a member of this congregation anymore, he doesn't get help.” </p><p>“Priests are obliged to help anyone and everyone in need if they can!” </p><p>“Do you want me to arrest you as well?” the man growled at her, shocking Lexa by such outrageous behavior. She wanted to scream, get him fired and punished for such injustice and to her frustration realized just how powerless she is in this situation. </p><p>“No. I’m sorry. We’re leaving.” She helped the young man to his feet and under the angry gaze of the officer they slowly began to walk away. Lexa wasn't sure where Madi was and she didn't dare to look back. The man on her arm is shaking and crying. “Do you live around here? Lexa asked him kindly after a few more steps. She has no idea where to go. Unfortunately her new companion is entirely out of it muttering nonsense that Lexa can't decipher. Hallucinations are a common symptom for his state. </p><p>“Why are you helping him, crazy people are dangerous.” Madi materialized next to her. </p><p>“He’s sick and needs help. You should always answer calls for help.” Lexa replied and was too busy helping the man not to fall over to notice the confused look on Madi’s face.</p><p>“I don't know where he lives.” Lexa continued. “I think that I need to get him to my friend Lincoln’s place.” </p><p>“He can't take the train like this.” Madi objected. “You’ll get kicked out or arrested, just leave him here if he has family they’ll find him and take care of him.”</p><p>“What if he doesn't?” Lexa asked. Madi looked uncomfortable with the question. “We can't help everyone,” she replied after a moment, it sounded like a phrase she learned from someone else, Lexa frowned, she could tell that Madi wanted to help but was scared. “I’m not leaving this man out here like this.” </p><p>Madi nodded, hearing the steel in her voice. “I can call us a ride.” </p><p>~~~~~~~</p><p> </p><p>Lexa wasn’t sure why she expected Madi to call a regular cab but when a car that seemed to be made entirely out of parts of different vehicles pulled up before them she knew that there was no way it could be an official transport of any kind. On one side of the vehicle Lexa noticed a title “devil’s own plumbing” and wasn't sure what to make of it. The driver was a middle aged woman with a brilliant smile and seemed to know Madi, waving at the girl through her rolled down window.</p><p> “Hi Ruby, thank you for getting here so fast!” Madi greeted her, I’ll work it off. </p><p>The woman waved her off. “Don’t worry about it, I owed you and Raven one anyway.” </p><p>Madi rode shotgun while Lexa tried to keep the hallucinating, trembling man calm in the back seat. Her whole skin was crawling with powerlessness. She just needs to get him somewhere safe to really help him. He would be fine, she could help him… </p><p><em> What if I forgot how to help?</em> It was the longest ride of Lexa’s life even though it probably only was half an hour before Madi and her friend were dropping her off before Lincoln's house. Lexa thanked them and declined their  offers of further help. She’s stronger than she looks after all. </p><p>With the man leaning on her she rang the bell. If Lincoln’s butler was surprised to see her with a young man pale as a sheet, who is now whispering about gremlins that live in the head of a priest, he doesn’t show it. Together they managed to drag him over to Lexa’s room.</p><p> “Master Scott has company in his study. Should I notify them about our new guest?” He asked politely. </p><p>Lexa shook her head quickly “Oh no, don’t disturb him, Allen, I just need a few minutes with my friend here. Do you think you could prepare us a pitcher of water and something to eat downstairs. I’ll come get it when I’m done here.”</p><p>“Very well,” he replied.</p><p>“Thank you.”</p><p>Lexa never actually healed anyone on her own before. She was taught to do it as a child at the temple, carefully supervised and guided by the high priestess. Helping to separate conscious mind form delusions was dangerous and serious business but as a child she hated doing it. Diving into someone else's mind was a horrible experience, especially when said mind belonged to someone who lost control, someone who’s nightmares have grown so strong they threatened to swallow them whole. Lexa liked helping people but it also gave her nightmares and made her uncomfortable. It was a part of the reason she decided to change her calling to research and space exploration.</p><p>“I’m going to help you. But you need to sit still.” The man's eyes were widened with terror but he wasn’t shaking as much anymore. Lexa shook off her jacket to free off her hands and placed one of her hands on the back of his head and the other on his chest above his racing heart, she closed her eyes and got to work.</p><p>~~~~~~~</p><p> </p><p>Lincoln was in the dining room with a dark haired woman with light skin whom Lexa  didn't know. But from the way Lincoln's eyes were glued to her she assumed that it wasn't a business meeting but a social call. Allen came to get her for dinner saying that Lincoln wanted her to join them but seeing the two together she felt very much like an intruder. Unfortunately then Allen had to go and announce her presence to them before she could sneak away unnoticed. Both heads turned to Lexa, Lincoln’s smile freezing on his face when he noticed her eye. “Lexa, are you alright; what happened?” He was getting up.</p><p>Lexa sighed, it wasn’t like she could share the story before  Lincoln’s female friend and his butler. “I ran into a door, is it bad?” she asked.</p><p>Lincoln looked worried but seemed to take the hint, they would talk later. “If you're sure you’re alright,” was all he said. </p><p><em>I ’m great but there is a strange possibly homeless man sleeping in your guest bedroom and I’m not sure how to make him promise not to tell anyone that I healed him with the trick Ive learned during my time at the temple… </em> Lexa only gave him a tight lipped smile in response.</p><p>Unfortunately his dinner companion didn't seem to believe Lexa’s excellent cover story either.  “That must've been quite the door,” the woman remarked. </p><p>“It was a very stupid accident.” Lexa assured her and to lead the conversation added: “I don't believe we’ve met.”</p><p>“My apologies.” Lincoln said, realizing the social misstep he made. “Lexa, meet Octavia Kalbe. Octavia, this is a good friend of mine Lexa Smith.”</p><p>“Nice to meet you.” Lexa offered her hand to the woman. </p><p>Octavia accepted the gesture; shaking Lexa's hand firmly. “Oh the pleasure is all mine, Lexa.” Her hand felt rougher than Lexa expected it to be but the touch was gone before she could focus on it. Maybe it was the exhausting day she just had but something about the way Octavia said her name disturbed Lexa.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Lexa just can't seem to go out without stepping into trouble can she? But will she learn her lesson about not trusting strangers? I honestly don't know; the character are starting to take over from me at this point....</p><p>Thank you all for reading, I hope you enjoyed this chapter : )</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Sparks</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Clarke talks to an old friend while Lincoln's dinner plans face some challenges.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi! Remember when I used to update? Those were the days. Im giving it a try again. But I'm warning you all right now; this semester is going to be downright mean to me so please have patience while I try to work out a new schedule for writing these things, weekly updates might not be a thing for a while. </p><p>That said, thank you all for being here and I hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Clarke stared at the blinking light of the incoming call notification as if it personally offended her. She's been thinking about the call all day, now she had half a mind to simply decline it. That of course would be a very childish thing to do. Clarke sighed. <em>Best to get this over with,</em> she thought; accepting the call. </p><p>The screen filled with the slightly grainy image of her old mechanic. “Hey, Clarke!”  At least she had the decency to look sheepish. Clarke’s mood wasn't softened however. </p><p>“Don't ‘hey, Clarke’ me!”  she barked. “Roan, Raven?! Have you finally lost your damn mind?”</p><p>Raven wasn’t put off by the lack of social niceties like greeting. “Will you let me explain or are you just going to yell at me?” she asked calmly. “I do have things to do today, Clarke.“ </p><p>Clarke huffed. “I bet you do, stabbing more people in the back with the biggest backstabber of them all. ”</p><p>Raven raised her brow, waiting for Clarke to give up her rant. “Fine, explain yourself.” Clarke allowed begrudgingly. </p><p>“First of all. I really am sorry for how this went down.” Raven started with an apologetic smile. “I should've given you a heads up, but every time I tried to talk to you; you brushed me off.”</p><p>Clarke felt her anger begin to simmer to a boiling point again. “No I didn't,” she argued. “When have you ever tried to talk to me about you leaving?” </p><p>“Like when I came to you; telling you that I work on engines, that I don't feel right when I can't spend a few hours a day taking care of my baby and you told me to get over it.” Raven’s tone was that of a person that's exercising a great deal of patience to explain something to the village idiot.</p><p>Clarke seethed. “I also recall asking you to wait for us to get the ship back!”</p><p>Raven threw her hands up defensively. “I waited for two years! Working on sanitation trucks, picking up garbage and occasionally fencing something of actual value isn't what I signed up for Clarke.”</p><p>“It's not my fault,” Clarke felt like she repeated these words so many times in her head they lost all meaning but they still came out with the heat of her own anger and frustration. “I did everything I could to keep us above water!”</p><p>“I'm not saying that it is your fault, Clarke.” Raven replied. “It's just that we barely covered the hospital bills and the start of this new Arkadia based operation and we just don't have the funds to buy back the ship in time. I loved the Titanic, you know that, but it's time to accept that she's gone.”</p><p>“We still got time!” Clarke protested. “Why didn't you wait till we missed the deadline at least?”</p><p>“Roan needed someone to start immediately. You've seen his ship. It's incredible I couldn't pass up the chance to be the head technician there!” Ravens excitement shined over the apologetic expression. Clarke realized that all was well and truly lost, Raven fell in love with the ship already. The realization hurt Clarke more than she expected so she reacted the only way that came naturally to her; by lashing out.</p><p>“So you just betrayed your family for a chance at a shiny ship that's not even that great by the way, its way too flashy.”</p><p>“I didn't betray anyone. I accepted a job, you guys will always be my family, I love you all and we’ve been through so much but I need to fly something, I was going crazy! You have to understand that, Clarke.”</p><p>“If you just ‘took a job’ why was it the person you knew I couldn't stand?”</p><p>“This isn't about you,” Raven replied with rising frustration. “If you actually tried to see past that grudge of yours you’d realize that he’s actually one of the few good people in this business. I didn't join his crew to hurt you, Clarke I joined him because I trust him.”</p><p>Clarke almost choked on her own saliva at that. “You don't trust me to get the ship back but you'll trust that backstabbing asshole who screwed us over?”</p><p>Raven‘s hand went to rest on her forehead. “Rusty accelerators, Clarke, you got back at him for that and then you even had us work with him!”</p><p>“And he betrayed us again! He got me arrested! I have to use a fake name everywhere now!” </p><p>“He did that because you shot him !” Raven yelled. “And he did send you that gift basket after!”</p><p>“To mock me!” Clarke yelled.</p><p>Raven tilted her head thoughtfully. “I'm pretty sure that it was an apology.”</p><p>“Well he can take that apology and go float himself with it.”</p><p>“Clarke. I'm sorry, okay?”</p><p>“Oh, fuck you!” Clarke spat out angrily, Raven didn't react or cut off the transmission. She simply sat there watching Clarke thoughtfully.</p><p>“What?” Clarke prompted her to when a minute passed with no reaction from her ex-mechanic.</p><p>“Look I hope that after you process this, you'll realize that there's no reason why all of us can’t still be friends.”</p><p>“You want me to make up with Roan?” Clarke repeated the baffling suggestion. Like Roan would even go for that. Clarke shot him, he turned her in. He was a complete asshole. Also Clarke said some things to him that he wasn't likely to forgive or forget. Though, come to think of it Raven probably didn't know about that part, Clarke never told her and she doubted that Roan would repeat it. Raven was just deluding herself out of guilt. “It's just not going to happen.”</p><p>Raven sighed. “Fine but you might need all the friends you can get, I heard what happened with your mission over at Fila.” </p><p>“What exactly did you hear?”</p><p>“That the Trelinskis are after you now.”</p><p>“Yeah, so? They're powerful on their world but completely green space wise.” </p><p>“No, Clarke. I don't know what you did to piss them off enough to actually spend money on you but they went to professionals.”</p><p>“How would you know that?” </p><p>“Does that matter, Clarke? I heard it from a reliable source, they hired Bester to get you.”</p><p>“Bester as in; the Bloodhound? That Bester?” Clarke ask for confirmation. She never met the man personally but she heard stories on the street. Guy had a reputation. “That makes no sense, why would he work for Trelinskis? They’re cheap bastards!</p><p>“I don’t know the particulars, just that he’s looking for you, I’ve heard about it only today. But since your base on Arcadia is not that well kept secret, you should hide deep or go off world immediately.”</p><p>That would probably be a good idea. If Raven was to be trusted.</p><p>“Don't you have a new crew to worry about?” It was a cheap shot, Clarke new, but was powerless to resist taking it.</p><p>The flash hurt on Raven's face was noticeable in spite of the low quality of the transmission. Her old friend however still wouldn't give up the fight. “Look I told this to the others and I'm saying it to you. If you're in trouble, reach out, I still want to help if I can. Madi has the emergency number so you can reach me even if we are in dark mode.”</p><p>“I’ll rather turn myself in to the Coalition.” </p><p>“You don't mean that." Raven smirked. "Take care, Clarke.”</p><p>Clarke ended the call without a goodbye, snarking as the transmission cut. Raven acting as if she cared was infuriating. All the more so because some part of Clarke actually believed it to be a genuine offer. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>~~~oOoOo~~~</p><p>Lexa regretted attending dinner as soon as she sat down at the wide wooden table across from Octavia. Lincoln was at the head of the table equally distant from them both but his body was obviously angled towards his new guest.  </p><p>She was more than happy to let them carry on their conversation. The energy she exhausted while trying to help the young man, as well as the pulsing pain that was radiating from her eye, were taking their toll on her ability to focus on anything besides her own plate and her need for a nice hot shower and long sleep. Of course there was the issue of the complete stranger that was occupying the bed in her room; the only guest room. Where was Lexa going to sleep anyway? Lexa bit her cheek. She didn't think of that. She couldn’t just wake him up and send him on his way. He’d need time to recover.</p><p>The process went reasonably well. Except for the part where he experienced Terror during the healing and managed to hit Lexa’s face hard with his elbow; creating the bruise Octavia wouldn't stop staring at earlier. Besides she would need to talk to him to make sure everything was alright and to teach him to meditate properly and to make sure he has somewhere to go if the Terrors come back… The thought was interrupted by the sound of her name. Her cutlery clanked against the plait as she snapped back to attention. Glancing from Lincoln to Octavia and back again, realizing that she missed their conversation entirely.</p><p>“Lexa, are you sure you’re okay? Octavia just asked you a question.”  Lincoln's look told her that she was being rude. Lexa forced herself to smile and shift her attention to Octavia. “My apologies, I'm afraid I'm not the best company tonight. What was your question?”</p><p>Octavia smiled a little too pleasantly. “I asked if you also work at the museum.”</p><p>“Oh no. Unfortunately I'm only visiting.”</p><p>“Are you here for the exhibition? Lincoln tells me how much work it is to organize!” Octavia reached out to touch Lincoln’s hand on the table in a familiar gesture.</p><p>“Not exactly, but I would love to see it if I'm still on Arkadia by then.” Lexa replied politely and then realizing that she just created an opening for Octavia to ask more prodigy questions quickly asked her own question. “How do you know Lincoln?”</p><p>Octavia looked at Lincoln with a bright smile. “We only met today. He scared the hell out of me but those blueberry scones of his almost make up for it.”</p><p>“Allen made those.” Lincoln admitted; red in the face. Lexa never saw him look so embarrassed. Octavia only  smirked playfully. “Oh well then you still got to make up for scaring me so much.”  </p><p>“What happened?” Lexa, who couldn't imagine Lincoln being scary to anyone, tried to summon the rest of her energy to seem more alert for the story. </p><p>Octavia leaned forward as if she was about to share a scandalous secret. “He stole my boss's briefcase,” she mocked whispered.</p><p>“By accident!” Lincoln added quickly. “I had no idea the case wasn't my own! The clerk at the Rainpost made a mistake and I was in a hurry so I didn't check the contents of it. I believed that I had prints of the floor plans that the museum coordinator left there for me. I meant no harm.” He assured both women at the table and Octavia looked at him as if he was the most adorable being on this planet. Lexa shifted uncomfortably in her seat. </p><p>“I did check what was in the case they handed me.” Octavia picked up the story once she snapped back to herself. “You can imagine my horror when it turned out that the top secret plans my boss asked me to pick up personally weren't there. I was certain that it was espionage so I got the clerk to tell me who took the case I was supposed to have and then chased after him.”</p><p>“She literally chased me down the street.” </p><p>Octavia was quick to explain. “The clerk told me the person I believed to be a thief had just left so I took my chances. I was freaking out the whole time, thinking I was about to get fired.”</p><p>“Luckily I stopped to look at the bookstore display so she didn't have to search for me that long.”</p><p>“The first words we exchanged weren't pretty. But once we cleared things up I realized that Lincoln here is actually a perfect gentleman..” Octavia gave Lincoln a warm smile, which he wasted no time returning. “He even invited me to have a scone and now I've invited myself for dinner.” Octavia carried on. “I hope you don't mind me being here,” she added; her attention shifting to Lexa. Only, Lincoln answered before Lexa had a chance to say anything at all. “I told you that you should stay. You're absolutely not an inconvenience,” he insisted with the same warm smile he had worn all night.</p><p>Lexa only nodded dutifully in confirmation; in case Octavia still sought her answer. The gesture went unnoticed as Octavia seemed to only have eyes for Lincoln again. Lexa in fact considered the woman to be a great inconvenience but she was merely a house guest and it was truly not her place to say anything. Lincoln was smiling at Octavia as if she was an especially interesting mineral sample. It was disturbing. Was this how Lexa looked at Clarke? Lincoln did say that she had a stupid longing stare whenever her bodyguard was around. It felt like a whole entirety has passed by the time Lexa had a chance to excuse herself from the table and even longer for the night to end.</p><p> </p><p>~~~~~~~</p><p>Lexa was almost in the clear. Her plate was empty. Octavia and Lincoln are still making eyes at each other. The perfect time to excuse herself. Then the scream came. She ran upstairs, forgetting her manners, and following the scream. </p><p>The situation in the room wasn't terribly surprising. Her 'patient' was sitting up on the bed. Looking around in confusion and breathing quickly.</p><p>Lexa approached him slowly. “It's okay. You're safe. You're with friends.”</p><p>“I.. I.. Are they gone?” He stammered. Lexa slowly touched his forehead, nodding to herself.</p><p>“Yes, go back to sleep. You need the rest.” She directed him back to bed, echoes of the Terrors, weren't uncommon.</p><p>Maybe she could ask him to go sleep on the couch… She watched him falling asleep again just as quickly as he woke. Lexa sighed, realizing that she just directed him to her own bed again, and turned around to face Lincoln, Octavia and Allen all peering from the door. Well, as Clarke would put it; <em> fuck </em>.</p><p>Lexa quickly but silently closed the door to the room and joined her friend, his guest and a manservant in the narrow passageway on the upper level of the house. “I wasn't aware you had company.” Lincoln said slowly as the door clicked shut. Maybe she should have stayed on the other side of it. </p><p>Lexa turned to face him with the same polite smile she would use for meetings with politicians or reporters this time solely wearing it for Octavia’s benefit. “I know, I'm sorry I should've called you but it was an emergency. He's … I.. her eyes clicked from Lincoln to Octavia… He’s my cousin. I found him  in a pub.  Very unwell. I couldn't leave him there it wouldn't be proper.”</p><p>“What was a girl like you doing in a pub?” Octavia asked.</p><p>“That’s hardly any of your business.”</p><p>“Hes ex-military, he gets nightmares sometimes.” Lexa lied through her teeth. </p><p>“Is he?” Lincoln asked, clearly not amused.</p><p>“Yes, sorry, why don't we talk about this later, Maybe after you two finish dinner. I'm afraid I lost my appetite so I will just make myself busy at the study.”Her excuse was accepted with minimum fuss, but it was clear that the easy-going romantic atmosphere of the evening have taken damage.</p><p>The ice pack brushed against her bruised face and Lexa let out a sigh at the sting of the contact. She was by no means used to getting punched in the face anymore, she wasn't a child going through training. How Lexa used to hate training days; getting trained to fight and take punches as if it still were the dark ages. Nightblood high healing abilities might seem like a good idea in theory but Lexa learned early on that in training it was a curse rather than blessing. Nightbloods could go through training  much more rigorous than their red blooded counterparts. “You need to learn to maximize your potential.” Anya would say and if Lexa dared to complain and then she would proceed to mercilessly rain more blows at her without warning. Lexa cursed her quick recovery repeatedly back then since it meant nothing but extra suffering, she was grateful for it now, as it meant that her face would be better by morning. </p><p>“Will you require anything else, Miss?” Allen asked.</p><p>“No thank you, Allen. Sorry about all the extra commotion tonight.”</p><p>“It is no problem, Miss. I found it rather entertaining.” Lexa laughed against herself. At least she</p><p>was entertaining if nothing else.</p><p>“She left.” Was all Lincoln said when he entered the room only a few minutes after Allen exited the room. Lexa was honestly surprised Octavia wasn’t staying the night after all those looks at dinner.</p><p>“Is that disappointing to you?” She regretted the judgmental bite to her words as soon as they left her mouth. Yes Lincoln and the woman were throwing most courtship rules out of the airlock but different regions had different customs besides Lexa had no ground to stand on since she slept with Clarke with no courtship at all and technically she lied to Clarke about her own identity not to mention technically being her boss at the time. Lexa was a horrible person. </p><p>“I’m,” Lincoln started before shaking his head dismissively. “Lexa that's not the point. You have a black eye and I’m pretty sure that man up there is not a drunk royalty so what is going on?”</p><p>Lexa sighed. She would much rather discuss Octavia, but Lincoln did deserve answers. She gave him a slightly corrected version of the story. Opting to leave out Madi as much as possible, only mentioning the girls help in acquiring a cab. Really Lincoln didn't have to know that Lexa fell into a mugging within the hour of leaving the house for the first time in days.</p><p>“Wait so Nightbloods can all just do Mindclear?” Lincoln was caught between Lexa endangering herself and the shock that she could do it in the first place. </p><p>“Technically almost anyone can do it.” Lexa pointed out.</p><p>Lincoln shook his head.“With years of training, Lexa. You've only trained for what a year and as a child no less!” </p><p>“Of course my blood does provide some natural advantages.” Lexa allowed “However any connection of minds is dangerous unless you know what you’re doing. Its why only using it to heal people is permitted by the Coalition and requires a proper certification.” </p><p>“Which only priests can get, Lexa. The boy upstairs is a proof of you breaking that law, it could expose you or get you arrested if the word got out.”</p><p>“Priests are also obligated to help everyone, but that man turned him away as if he was nothing.”</p><p>Lexa held her chin up, feeling herself get defensive both mentally and physically. “I couldn't just stand there and do nothing.” She needed to make Lincoln understand the gravity of the situation. “That man needs to lose his function; he's not worthy of the cloth. Can you believe the officer didn't arrest him right there, Lincoln?”</p><p>“Yes I can.” He nodded, slumping tiredly in his chair.</p><p>In contrast Lexa flew to the edge of her seat. “What. How can you-”</p><p>Lincoln waved her off. “Lexa things are very different here from Polis, hell I imagine things are really different in Polis than the parts you’ve seen. But right now I'm concerned about the man upstairs and what he is going to tell people when he wakes up. He could expose you! If people so high up are looking for you don't you think that a story about a young woman who can mid heal is not going to tip them off?” He yelled. Lexa flinched. She did consider those things. Very very briefly, but a persons life and safety was at stake what was she supposed to do? “We need to dispose of him.” Lincoln added. And Lexa’s stomach twisted.</p><p>“We are not killing him.” It was not an option.</p><p>“Of course not.” Lincoln agreed. “We’ll just drive him to a different district and ditch him there and hope to the emperor he won't remember what happened.”</p><p>“He needs more help!” Lexa insisted. “Without proper exercise the terrors could come back or he could develop a number of.”</p><p>“Lexa,” Lincoln started but before he could continue Lexa jumped in again.</p><p>“He won't say anything I saved his life. If we ask him to keep quiet I'm sure he'll oblige,” she insisted.</p><p>Lincoln was exasperated “Lexa, that's, not going to work at all I Stars, Lexa.” He shook his head. “I need a moment.” Lincoln turned on his heel and headed out of the room.</p><p>“Where are you going?” Lexa asked.</p><p>“For a walk, I need to think.” The door to the study closed behind him. Lexa was surrounded by silence. She sighed all the sudden she didn't feel like sleeping at all. Was Lincoln done with her? Some leader she would make, every one of her decisions seemed to lead directly to a disaster today.</p><p>~~~~~~~</p><p>Lexa waited for Lincoln to come back sitting by the window in the sitting room. She watched the darkened street lost in her own thoughts. Lexa regretted all the trouble she was causing Lincoln, but she also didn’t see many options to the situation. Then she noticed a different familiar figure standing there just outside of the street light. It couldn't be the person she thought it was. Clarke surely wouldn't just show up in the middle of the night at her door. And if she did she wouldn’t just stop across the street and watch the house like some kind of a criminal element. Lexa stretched her eyes, the body shape was familiar, they had a dark coat with a hood on, abstracting Lexa’s view. It couldn't be, it was just her wishful thinking. Clarke always helped her in her sleepless nights. Now Lexa’s thoughts tended to wonder to her during that part of day, when her body would reject sleep entirely.</p><p>Then in a twist of faith a split second  of movement under the street light they’re eyes met from across the street. Lexa felt a familiar tug in her stomach. Maybe she just really wanted to believe that it was true, maybe it was only her tired mind playing tricks on her but in that moment she was certain that it was Clarke and that they both felt the same tug. Without thinking she ran to the door and onto the street. Slamming the door behind her.</p><p>The person was gone when she reached the spot by the alcove, however a movement by the corner pointed Lexa to the end of the street where several cars were parked. Lexa followed after it. She could hear the echoes of her own steps, her beating heart and through the dark she recognized the soft echoes of another person. The danger of the situation didn't even occur to her and neither did the fact that the person she was following could actually be someone other than Clarke. In the excitement she grabbed the hooded figure. “Clarke,” she whispered.</p><p>The person let themselves be spun around but then used the motion to swap at Lexa with what she could only assume was some kind of a weapon. The years of being made to control her own body and defend herself against attacks kicked in and helped Lexa twist the attacker’s arm just enough for the blow to miss, while trapping the person's foot, making them lose their balance and come crashing against the side of the van they were about to get in.  Lexa watched with shock as the familiar blond mop of hair came against the metal with a loud thud. </p><p>“Oh my Stars, Clarke. I’m sorry!” She cried, she acted on instinct. </p><p>Clarke looked up at her with shock. “Lexa?” She asked, they stared at each other and then Clarke’s confusion was replaced with frown “Did you just hit me?”</p><p>“I'm so sorry, Clarke, I.. “Lexa paused, remembering the reason why she hurt Clarke. “Actually why did you try to stab me? I was just trying to talk to you? What are you even doing here, you scared me!”</p><p>Clarke, still on the ground, rubbed her temple and checked her hand for any blood before looking up at Lexa with an offended expression. “I scared<em> you </em>? You just practically broke my skull! I saw stars and not the fun kind!”</p><p><em> What was the fun kind of stars? </em> Lexa wondered briefly before going back to her turmoil of feelings. Adrenalin from the chase and altercation, happiness at seeing Clarke. </p><p>“I'm really sorry, Clarke” Lexa offered sincerely and reached out to help the other up. The gesture was a friendly one, she only meant to help Clarke up. In the moment when their fingers brushed Lexa felt those same fluttering sparks to dance from the touch directly to her stomach, filling  her with unease and excitement at the same time. Pushing the feelings aside she pulled Clarke up. Leaving them suddenly standing mere inches from each other. The blue in Clarke’s eyes sparkled in the dim light, her pupils were blown wide. Her lips so close to Lexa’s own. Lexa still remembered their taste from the night on the Spectator, thought about it at least a few times a day every day. The inside of Lexa’s mouth was suddenly painfully dry.</p><p>Her palm was sweating in Clarke’s noticeably colder hand but neither of them was letting go. She looked  back up to Clarke’s eyes, the others eyes flicked up to meet her. Lexa expected a snarky remark, for Clarke to break the tension as she would do. It didn't come. Clarke’s eyes were dark, unreadable and mesmerizing. Before Lexa could think better of it she leaned in and kissed her. </p><p>Clarke tensed her grasp on Lexa’s hand tightened, for a second Lexa was certain that Clarke would push her away. Then the resistance melted away and Clarke was taking over the control of the kiss. </p><p>They pulled away breathless bruised mouths and nowhere near satisfaction. “I can't invite you in, Lexa said, unsure whether it was to inform Clarke or simply to remind herself. </p><p>“Awh worried Lincoln wouldn't want to see me? He doesn't have to know…”Clarke grinned and leaned in to whisper to her ear. “I'd sneak out before breakfast.”</p><p>Shiver ran through Lexa, completely unrelated that she was standing outside without a coat. “It's more complicated than that. I’m sorry, trust me I want nothing more than to say yes.”</p><p>“Well, if the house is the only issue... My truck is right here.” Clarke taped the rusty metal, next to her.</p><p>Lexa looked at the vehicle for the first time. “Your truck. This says sanitation. Wait, are you working as a...”</p><p>Clarke’s smile vanished. “I ehm. No it…. I mean. I took a job okay not all of us can make money as fancy teachers for rich kids!”</p><p>Lexa's smile grew. “I said nothing, Clarke. It's an honorable job.”</p><p>“Shut up,” Clarke grunted unhappily, causing Lexa to chuckle. Clarke was adorable when she got defensive about her pride. Clarke tried to keep her expression stern but a smile was tugging on her own lips, finally she leaned in closer to Lexa again and kissed her. Slowly, sweaty this time.Then she reached back and opened the front door to the car. “Well, are you coming?” She looked at Lexa. </p><p>“In a garbage truck, Clarke. You are not serious!”</p><p>“Hey, it's a sanitation truck! We only use it to move… cleaning things. It's completely clean.”</p><p>Lexa narrowed her eyes, distrustful of the sentiment. Then, both to Clarke’s and her own shock, she followed Clarke inside. “What?” She asked Clarke as she crowded next to her to the small space.</p><p>“I didn't expect you to agree.”</p><p>That was fair, Lexa didn't expect herself to accept either. “You will tell no one, Clarke!”</p><p>“Cross my heart." Clarke smiled. "Come on.” Clarke pushed away part of the back screen separating the truck’s front seats revealing a small entrance to the cargo hold.  Lexa was still trying to wrap her mind around what was about to happen so she did not think such a feature to be strange at all. </p><p>The initial heat was gone. They kissed slowly, lazily, Clarke’s warm body on top of hers, it’s heat the familiar smell of smoke and cheap whiskey all combined, overwhelming Lexa’s senses. If the harsh ridges of the truck were not digging into her back it would be perfect. Nevertheless Lexa haven't felt more comfortable in a very long time. She had non idea when the sensation turned into a dream. Her breath evened and just like that Lexa was asleep in Clarke’s arms. </p><p>~~~oOoOo~~~</p><p> </p><p>Clarke realized what happened a moment later. Lexa slept peacefully. There was a light bruise around her eye. It was nowhere as bad as Octavia made it out to be. Still, it meant someone hurt Lexa. Clarke had no explanation for why it was unacceptable, it simply was. The thought to wake Lexa up and resume their activity never occurred to her. She stayed exactly where she was, holding Lexa. Breathing in sync with her. Ignoring the pain of her arm falling asleep, the uncomfortable cold she felt after her initial decision to throw her black woolen coat over Lexa. It was an old coat, the one Clarke retired after their first successful mission when she could afford something more quality, her very own brown leather coat. The one Lexa torched with her fucking candle. </p><p>Clarke had no idea why she wasn't waking the girl up; either to get her to resume their mutual chase of pleasure or simply to tell her to go sleep it off in her own bed because Clarke was getting cold, uncomfortable and frankly because Clarke didn't cuddle. All of those were good reasons to wake Lexa up. Clarke couldn't think of a good reason to stay where she was and let Lexa sleep (who cared if Lexa looked exhausted). Even so, Clarke remained as they were for three more hours.</p><p>~~~oOoOo~~~</p><p> </p><p>Lexa woke up with a soft warm feeling. Gentle fingers were running over her clothed shoulder. “Lexa? You really need to get up now.” Clarke was peering down at her.</p><p>“I got work and you are unfortunately not invited, come on!”</p><p>“Clarke? What happened I don't... did we?”</p><p>“I mean that was the idea but then you fell asleep.” Clarke reminded.</p><p>“Stars.” Lexa felt embarrassed heat pooling up to her cheeks. “I'm really sorry. I was just so tired and you were so.. I’m sorry. Why didn't you wake me?”  Clarke shrugged nonchalantly “You looked like you could use it.”</p><p>“How long?” Lexa frowned.</p><p>“About three hours. I would've let you sleep longer but the sun is rising and I need to get the truck back or…  my colleague is going to flip.”</p><p>“Right.” Lexa sighed, feeling stupid that she wasted three hours with Clarke by sleeping. “Um, I'm still in town for a few days,” she said hesitantly.  “Maybe we could do something together.” <em>That's an awful idea,</em> a voice in the back of her mind reminded her.</p><p>Clarke froze.</p><p>“You don't have to." Lexa added quickly. "I just would like to spend some more time with you, before I leave for Polis. I missed you this week.” Lexa shouldn't be saying these things, she knew, it made her seem pathetic.</p><p>Clarke’s voice sounded a little rough when she said, “How about tomorrow night?”</p><p>Lexa looked up, pleasantly surprised. “It's perfect, Clarke. I mean; yes, tomorrow works for me!” Then she paused, frowning briefly. “Can you pick me up?” She would preferred to steer clear of public transportation.</p><p>“Sure I’ll just call you before.” Clarke stopped herself. “You don't have a wrist pad, right?”</p><p>“You can get me at Lincoln’s central system... Or I could buy one, it's no trouble.” Lexa said but Clarke was already pushing herself into the small hidden door to the drivers cabin. </p><p>“Clarke?”</p><p>“Hold on.” Came Clarke’s muffled reply. Moments later she reappeared with a small round device. It was absolutely nothing like the sleek communicators, Lexa was familiar with. It was clearly made out of remains of different devices and parts not designed for such purpose. It was just like the one Clarke had on her own wrist.</p><p>“Take this. It's homemade, my friend made it but she won't need it anymore so you might as well take it.” Clarke added with some inexpiable nervousness. </p><p>Lexa smiled at her. “Thank you, Clarke.”</p><p>The tensions left Clarke’s shoulders. “It's got a pretty decent range so if you're in trouble you can call me now.”</p><p>A month ago Lexa would be offended by Clarke’s insinuation that she cant take care of herself. Now she welcomed the gesture. Clarke cared. Lexa raised a brow. “I’m not paying you anymore, are you offering to be my knight in shining armor, Clarke?”</p><p>“Maybe” Clarke grinned and then added more seriously, “But I'm actually hoping that you'll keep yourself out of trouble.”  </p><p>Lexa shook her head. She never did anything to get herself in trouble, trouble just seemed to find her. With a parting kiss she exited the truck and went back to the house. It was time to go back to reality. Only when she reached the front door did she realize that she forgot to ask why did Clarke come to the house in the first place.<em> You can always ask her, You have the means now… </em> She almost did go and send a message then and there but she stopped herself. <em>I'll ask later,</em> she reasoned. Glossing over the fact that she didn't want to ask Clarke about it because deep down she knew that there was something very suspicious about the way Clarke just so happened to appear.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And that's it folks, thank you for comming to my  update! What did you think any fun moments? Bad moments? Tell me what you though. </p><p>Also, if you havent read it already, I would like to point you in the direction of <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23165188/chapters/55444996">Double Edged Sword</a><br/>It's amazing clexa fic, in my opinion, and I also feel like it goes with the time of year so take a look.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Miracles</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Happy Sunday! Thank you all who are still around even if I took almost a month to update. You are the best. I hope you all are someplace warm and keeping safe. Please enjoy!</p><p>Triger warning for this chapter: canon typical violence.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sun was rising by the time Clarke has made it back to the Nest. She didn't feel tired, despite the fact that she didn't actually sleep during the few hours she spent with Lexa in the back of the truck. It certainly was an odd encounter, no sex, no drugs not even a game of chess yet it had been odly relaxing. She realized that whatever energy rush she was experiencing would undoubtedly lead to an unfortunate crash later in the day but she couldn't bring herself to care. She could power through it. What worried her more was the fact that their plan was going really well, something was bound to blow up in their face soon.</p><p>The day before Emori and Murphy copied most of the sensitive information necessary for their heist from Lincoln’s briefcase. The same case in which Octavia returned acting as if it was just an accident. And then Lincoln not only bought the story but he even gave them an opening in inviting Octavia over for tea. If he voluntarily let himself be distracted, who were they to turn him away? Octavia was a little too eager to keep him distracted in Clarke’s opinion but she trusted her to get the job done even if she was a little distracted. </p><p>Madi and Emori were already awake when she reached the Nest, sitting over the plans discussing them. “It would be a lot better if we just called Raven and..” Emori cut off as soon as she noticed Clarke approaching them. “Morning, Captain.” </p><p>Clarke’s good mood was gone just like that. “Nobody is calling Raven.” she ordered. </p><p>“But we-” Madi started only to be cut off by Emori’s hand on her shoulder. </p><p>“This is her tech, Clarke.” Emori sighed. “I know how it works but reprogramming it like this is really difficult, especially when we don’t have the time to test it.” </p><p>“It's a risk we have to take. We can’t depend on Raven.” Clarke reminded. </p><p>“Are you worried she’ll tell Roan?” Madi asked before Emori could stop her. Clarke’s eye twitched in the way it always did when the name of her ex-allie was mentioned. </p><p>“She’s in his crew. I won’t have people from the Ranger taking our money.”</p><p>Emori rolled her eyes, muttering. “There won't be any winnings if we get ourselves arrested on the job.”</p><p>Clarke looked back at her without missing a beat.  “What was that?” </p><p>“Nothing, captain!” Emori replied with the same shit eating grin Clarke swore she learned from her husband. Clarke shook her head. <em> Married people really do start to look alike. </em></p><p>Clarke would've reprimanded her further when her eyes fell to the carrier box they used for the mutant that now sat by the kitchen corner of the room with the door opened and no force field in sight. “Why is that here?”</p><p>Emori looked over at the box but showed no surprise at it being open. “Oh we had to let him out.”</p><p>“You let Cage’s psycho mutant out?” Clarke checked, disbelief dripping from her voice.</p><p>Emori had the good sense to look somewhat insecure about the action. Madi on the other hand was practically bouncing on her feet with excitement. “He’s really nice; we named him Patches!”</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Clarke spluttered.</span>
</p><p>Madi, ignoring her outrage entirely, grabed her had and draged her over to one of the larger beds where Murphy peacefully snored away with his mouth hanged open. "Look how addorable he is!" Madi insisted. Clarke wasn’t sure why Madi was so excited about Murphy all of the sudden but then she  noted the grey fur next to Murphy’s head, quickly realizing that it wasn't a pillow. The creature was lying right next to him resting it’s little snout on his neck as if it was perfectly harmless.</p><p>“Its so cute, I already took a picture.” Madi whispered with a huge smile. Clarke was lost for words. They rejoined Emori at the workstation and Clarke gave the other woman a questioning look.</p><p>“Aren’t you worried that thing is going to kill him?”</p><p>Emori shook her head. “I don't think so. Last night, after you left, we were all going nuts from it whining. Then John fed it pork stew and it really calmed down and even became rather sweet. And Madi figured that he might have been going nuts because he was locked up all the time... so  I put one of those tracking collars on him and connected it to the home shield. He can’t  leave the premises and I can neutralize him if he gets violent.” Emori finished her explanation by showing Clarke the small controller now attached to her wristpad. Clarke nodded. The collars were what Cage used on his mutants, Raven worked on a couple of them when they first started smuggling for him, though Clarke wasn’t a fan of seeing them used but if it shut the cat mutant up she could accept it.</p><p>“Who named it Patches?”</p><p>“I did. He likes it.” Madi said, beaming. Clarke frowned, she specifically told Madi not to name that thing, worrying that the girl would get attached to a liability. </p><p>As if reading her thoughts, Emori said. “They want to talk you into making him our ship pet.” </p><p>“Emori!” Madi hissed at her angrily. Like Clarke would let that happen, had they asked her later.</p><p>“We are not keeping it.” She told Madi sternly. “It’s merchandise.”</p><p>“But if we get all that money from the heist we won’t need to sell Patches right?” Madi pressed on as Clarke pursed her lips. “Please, Clarke, maybe we can train him to help us around the ship.”</p><p>“It could be good for morale.” Emori chimed in, making Clarke throw her a betrayed look.</p><p>“Enough! It's too early for this, I need food and coffee and you two have work to do, figure out how to do this without calling Raven.” Clarke said and then added. “We can discuss this issue again after we got the money from the heist and not before that.”</p><p> </p><p>~~~~~~~</p><p>Later that morning Clarke and  Murphy had to drive out to meet one of their contacts. Unfortunately the simple — yet for their plan absolutely critical — errant, quickly turned uncomfortable as Murphy got hanged up on questioning her whereabouts the previous night.</p><p>“Seriously why would you vanish right after Octavia came back? We didn't even go over the new version of the plan. We were supposed to strategize!”</p><p> “We talked about it this morning, nothing has really changed.”  Clarke protested. “Since when do you have a work ethic?”</p><p>Murphy didn’t rise to the bait to argue with her about his performance and instead narrowed his eyes at her. “You better not have gone to a bar. With that bounty hunter after you you should be laying low.” </p><p>Clarke shook her head. Murphy usually loved talking back. Half her crew was gone and the other half kept getting uncharacteristically worried about every single one of her actions.  “We don’t even know if he’s really after me.” Clarke mumbled. “Raven could be wrong.”</p><p>Murphy snorted. “That might be the stupidest thing you ever said.”</p><p>“Have some respect for your Captain, John.” Clarke snapped angrily. The usage of a first name did the trick and they rode in uncomfortable silence for a few minutes. When Clarke had enough of her conscience eating away at her she added a peace offering. “I wasn’t at a bar, so stop worrying.”</p><p>“But it was some kind of bad decision, right? I can tell.”</p><p>“Murphy?”</p><p>“Yes, cap’n?”</p><p>“Shut up.” </p><p>Murhy chuckled at the responce. “Whatever you were doing you missed bonding time with our new mascot!”</p><p>Clarke sighed, why was everyone so taken with that animal? “We are not keeping him.” </p><p>“Awhh don't be like that, Cap. You’ll love Patches if you give him a chance.”</p><p>Clarke wasn’t willing to budge. “It would be nothing but trouble. You remember what happened with Jasper’s Iguana?” She reminded. But Murphy only laughed. “At least we found out that stasis boxes can in fact catch fire.” </p><p>She rolled her eyes, wondering how she got anything done at all when she worked with a bunch of children. </p><p>The contact they were meeting was an old acquaintance from their army days. Atom was briefly a part of their unit before he was seriously injured on a mission and sent home. His long stay at the hospital allowed him to finish his education and he became a chemist. Most of his work was for the Coalition — as he was a certified professional — meaning that he had access to a lot of things anyone else would have hell of a time trying to get on the street. And his record was pristinely clean. </p><p>Since he was running his own perfectly credible business in a competitive field of Arcadia’s production district, most people wouldn't even think he could be involved with criminal elements. Atom himself probably wouldn't say that he was open to an illegal business. He had grown past that. But before his shop became profitable and he became a valued member of the community he didn't mind accepting help from his friends from his old unit to build his business in exchange for a few barrels of illegal acid that could melt vaults or the occasional unregistered sale of specialized fuel. </p><p>They parked in the underground garage under Atom’s new lab. It was a much fancier building than the one he used to work out of, their beaten sanitation unit was in sharp contrast with the smooth edges and clean floors of the interior.</p><p>They stepped into the spacious glass elevator and Murphy whistled. “Our boy did well for himself.” Clarke nodded in agreement. “No wonder I had to haggle with him over the price. He must be drowning in guild fees.”</p><p>The price Atom and Clarke ended up settling on was actually very low. The three barrels of not entirely legal chemicals they asked him to synthesize for them would cost them thrice as much on the black market.</p><p>They stepped out of the elevator on a large landing platform for shuttles of Atom’s fancier customers and came to face the large metallic door and the security camera nestled above it. Clarke tapped the sensor to let Atom know they were there. The camera beeped alive, in a signal that it was sending their image to the other side of the door. Clarke and Murphy exchanged looks. The evidence of them being at the shop wasn’t something they wanted. The door opened for them a second later, revealing Atom in a pretentious white lab coat as if he wanted people to know he wasn’t running a pub.</p><p>“Well if it aren’t my favorite misfits. Welcome to my new office!” Atom greeted them cheerfully as he ushered them in.</p><p>“Atom, how have you been? Clarke returned the greeting at the same time as Murphy said “What’s with the white cape, man?” Thankfully Atom ignored the later and instead chose to dive into describing the issues he overcame with his new lab. Clarke shot Murphy a disapproving look as they followed the chemist deeper into the room. Atom was doing them a favor and they had to play nice. Murphy responded by rolling his eyes but Clarke knew he got the point. They would play nice. Even accepting Atom’s invitation to sit down for some tea.</p><p>“Octavia couldn't make it?” Atom asked while pouring each of them a cup of hot water with bits of leaves floating in it.</p><p>“No, she had a prior engagement.” Clarke replied recollecting how hanged over and grumpy Octavia had been when they tried to wake her earlier that day. Apparently she hit the rum pretty hard last night.</p><p>“That’s a shame.”</p><p>“That's right you guys hooked up way back when!” Murphy laughed at Atoms apparent disappointment and only stopped when Clarke discreetly kicked his leg under the table. Luckily Atom didn't take notice of Murphy's mocking tone and the conversation moved to safer waters. Clarke nodded patiently as Atom complained about the new city regulations and Murphy casually threw in some lines about the good old lawless days even though none of them actually experienced a time before the Coalition. Twenty minutes and one rust-awful cup of leaf-water later Clarke was regretting letting Atom tell them all about his boring life.</p><p>“That’s really great, Atom. I had no idea the customizing rito-fluids was such a sensitive process.” Clarke said with fake interest as Murphy next to her looked like he was about to die of boredom. “What we asked you for must’ve been a quick and easy job compared to that.”</p><p>“Yeah, it wasn’t difficult but just keeping it out of the records took me an hour of backtracking paperwork.” Atom explained with a wince.</p><p>“We really appreciate you going through the trouble. So you got it all here now?” Clarke asked, hoping that they could get to payment. </p><p>Atom nodded. “Yeah it's over there,” he pointed to the back wall that was lined with at least fifty barrels with different labels on them. “Yours are the three on the right. I’m afraid that I can’t let you try the stuff here but I guarantee it will do the trick.”</p><p>Clarke nodded. “We trust you.”</p><p>“And if it doesn’t work we know where to find you.” Murphy added with a smile that was a little too wide to be friendly. </p><p>Atom laughed, making Clarke question whether he realized that there was no humor in Murphy's statement.</p><p>Suddenly a chime went off, alerting Atom to a new shuttle docking on the platform by his door. “That must be my other customer.” Atom frowned, “he’s early.” Clarke followed his gaze to a wall sized screen by a correspondence desk came where a live footage of a sleek black ship landing on the platform outside. Something about it rang warning bells in her mind.</p><p>“Hold up,” Clarke said, stopping Atom from leaving the table to go communicate with the other customer. “That’s a bounty hunter’s guild mark on that shuttle.” As she spoke she pulled out her gun and pointed it at Atom’s head in one fluent motion. “What did you do?!”<em> Was the tea and the chatter a distraction?</em></p><p>“What are you doing?!”  Atom exclaimed.</p><p>“Who's the guy?” Murphy asked as his own gun found its way into his hand. All of them were standing around the table now and Atom was noticeably nervous.</p><p>“Yeah he’s a bounty hunter…”Atom stammered over his words.  “He's ordered some stuff, nothing else, I swear! Clarke, you better fucking not shoot me I didn’t do nothing!” Clarke narrowed her eyes at him. “Who is he?” she asked, her voice showing nothing but steel.</p><p>Atom was shaking slightly but, to his credit, he made no attempt to run. Though his eyes were flicking between Clarke and the barrel of her gun. “I think his name is Baxter or Nester. No definitely something with a B I got it written in my schedule.” He motioned to his correspondence desk next to the messy workstation. Take that thing out of my face,” he ordered again as Murphy went to the desk to find the schedule. Clarke kept the gun where it was, waiting for Murphy to find the client.</p><p>“Bester.” Murphy confirmed Clarke’s suspicion.</p><p>“Yeah, that's it!” Atom quickly agreed. “He just wants some nitrous oxide and halogenated agents, medical stuff, nothing illegal.”</p><p>“You tell him we’d be here?!” Murphy barked. </p><p>“Of course not!” Atom yelled. “Do you think I go around telling people about all the outlaws I know?”</p><p>“Shut the fuck up, he's after Clarke, If he finds her here its not gonna be pretty...” Murphy yelled. Not pretty was putting it lightly. They would fight, in an enclosed space with chemicals all around… it was shaping up to be a disaster. </p><p>Clarke quickly ran through the possible scenarios in her head, trying desperately to find one that wouldn't get them killed or exposed to the police. “We are parked in the underground, can we get there through here?” she asked Atom who shook his head at the same time as the landing port doorbell chimed. The bounty hunter was between them and the elevator they used to come up now. </p><p>Murphy cursed. “Shit, he’s right at the door!”</p><p>Clarke finally  lowered her gun from the chemist. Thinking about what to do.  “Atom, you have to help us out of this, unless you want us to start a firefight in here.” </p><p>For a painfully long second Atom was silent then he groaned. “I regret ever meeting you people.” He briskly walked over to the wall behind Clarke, and tapped a panel to make a grey steely roll up door roll up. “It's my walk-in fridge, for all the stuff that needs to be kept cool but it's too valuable to keep downstairs, get in and don’t touch anything!”</p><p>“You want us to hide in a fridge?” Clarke questioned.</p><p>“He doesn't know you're here, he won't search the place.” Atom insisted when Clarke and Murphy gave him dubious looks. “Get in there and stay quiet.” </p><p>As they truly were out of options; Clarke and Murphy stuffed themselves into the cold enclosed space, weapons ready and hearts beating quickly, as the door closed. Clarke strained her eyes trying to see through the slits of space between the metallic plates of the doors.  </p><p>Atom, stars bless him, ignored the third ring of his bell while he calmly put away the two extra cups from his table and only then went to answer the door. </p><p>Clarke never met Bester personally. Only knew him through stories people told around campfires, so she had no idea what to expect. It certainly wasn't the short middle aged man with absolutely no interesting features that walked in. His face was ordinary, dark brown hair combed, dressed in rather ordinary clothes any accountant would be happy to wear in a bleak black and grey colors.  Only an odd thing about him being the black gloves on his hands. Clarke heard he never took them off because he always had blood on his hands but that was surely a rumor. </p><p>“You’re early.” Atom said with clear annoyance. There was no sign of the nervous man she threatened only a minute ago. </p><p> “I’m in a hurry. My prey is a slippery one.”</p><p>“Arkadia has laws against hunting.” Atom remarked without missing a beat. </p><p>“Oh I wouldn’t dream of hurting rare species, I'm hunting for human scum.”</p><p>“You're a bounty hunter.”Atom remarked. </p><p>“Nothing gets past you,” replied the bounty hunter condescendingly, while looking around the room. “Where is my order?”  </p><p>“Let me pull it up.” Atom was already on his way to the correspondence desk and out of Clarke’s limited view. At least she still had the muffled voices so she could hear Atom say. “I wasn't expecting you for another two hours.”</p><p>“My apologies, as I said I'm in a bit of a hurry, I'll pay for your inconvenience of course. I came to you because I’ve heard that you're good at your job and very discreet to your clients needs.”</p><p>“Good to know.”</p><p>“You wouldn't happen to know a woman named Clarke Griffin, would you? Captain of the Titanic.”</p><p>Atom barely paused to think before answering. “The Titanic went down years ago. Or so I’ve heard.”</p><p>“So you do know her?” The bounty hunter wasn’t letting up.</p><p>“Served with her years ago.” Atom confirmed. “But like you said; I run my business on selling, not gossiping.” Clarke smirked. The bounty hunter must've contacted Atom for this very reason, to dig up information on where his target might be. That he found Atom was an impressive feat; he must’ve gotten his hands on sealed military records. Clarke rushed to remember who else from their old unity was traceable. Could he somehow dig up Murphy and find the Nest?</p><p>Clarke considered just attacking right then with the element of surprise on her side and Murphy's support they had a good chance to kill the guy. But shooting with chemicals around was never a good idea, not to mention that it would ruin their heist and leave them with police on their tail, Atom pissed or dead and as a result of all that: with no money to get the ship back. It would be best to stay put and see if lady Luck decides to give them a break for once. Clarke concluded. She tuned back in to the conversation, trying to make out what Atom was saying. </p><p>“This is your order right here, fresh batch. Remember to handle it carefully. Also I only accept direct credit transfer and we already settled on a price so if you would....”</p><p>“I see.” came Bester’s voice as smooth as silk. “But if you did know where Miss Griffin might be, I'd be willing to pay an extra thousand credits for an address or at least for another name.”</p><p>“That's a lot of money for one address.” Atom remarked. And Clarke closed her eyes, willing the man to keep his mouth shut. “It's too bad I can’t help you, haven't seen her in over two years. And I'm glad for it, she’s a horrible woman and brings nothing but trouble.” Atom, the jerk, added. Silence fell over the room as the two men probably stared each other down. Clarke was certain that her heartbeat would give her away. She could feel how tense Murphy got, neither of them dared to breath.</p><p>After what felt like an eternity, the bounty hunter spoke with surprising lightness to his tone. “Alright then. This should be enough for your trouble and do remember my offer. If you can think of anything else or if Miss Griffin happens to contact you, you have my number. Please keep in mind that I always get my targets; the only question is whether you’ll make some extra credits or not.”</p><p>“I’ll think about it. Good luck on your hunt.” Atom replied and then proceed to see the bounty hunter out.</p><p> Clarke and Murphy shared a look when the door finally closed behind the bounty hunter, the same disbelief mirroring in each others faces, silently asking. <em>Did this really just happen? </em></p><p>“This was way too fucking close.” Murphy whispered. Clarke wholeheartedly agreed with the sentiment. They’d have to be a lot more careful, there was too much at stake to let a dude with leather gloves, and no sense of personal space, fuck up their plan.</p><p> </p><p>~~~oOoOo~~~</p><p>Lexa’s cloud of warm and happy energy she received from the few hours with Clarke dispersed soon after her return to the house, where her problems kindly awaited her. Lincoln did seem to be feeling more forgiving after his walk but their morning meeting about the newest guest did not go according to Lexa’s wishes. Lincoln insisted they send him away before he could find out more about Lexa. It was a valid security risk and Lexa hated that she had to agree with him.</p><p>Charlie, the boy she saved, wasn't looking away from Lexa. The terrified look hasn't fully left his face since he woke up, even after she assured him many times that all was well and he wasn't in any trouble. He was Lexa’s age but once he had the opportunity to clean up he struck Lexa as even younger, boyish, maybe it was his light blonde hair and bright blue eyes. Lexa couldn't help but think that the color was nothing like the blue of Clarke’s eyes. Clarke’s were light blue almost silver in some places and fascinating in the same way the ocean is beautiful while hiding danger in its hidden depths. Charlie’s on the other hand were brighter, seemingly more open, color, certainly drawing attention but all Lexa could see in them was fear of a scared kid in way over his head. Was this what Lincoln and Clarke thought when they looked at her? </p><p>His fear was understandable he did wake up in a strange place after suffering for so long that stars know how long without help. Or maybe his fear was induced by the fact that across from him right next to Lexa sat Lincoln and had his gun placed on the table in a very obviously threatening manner. </p><p>“So let's hear this again. Charlie.” Lincoln commanded.</p><p>Charlie shook his head, his eyes traveling between  Lexa and Lincoln quickly. “I won't tell anyone about you, either of you.”</p><p>Lincoln acknowledged the answer by the briefest nod and fired another question at him. “How did you get better?”</p><p>“Traveling monks helped me, free of charge, let me stay the night.” Charlie replied quickly, stumbling over the words in his nervousness.</p><p>“You’re doing great, Charlie.” Lexa encouraged him quietly. “Do you remember what you should do to recover properly?”</p><p>“Uh like the meditation you showed me and like something to get my heart rate going in the morning, Ma’am.” Charlie replied. The way he looked at Lexa, as if she was a saint, made her uncomfortable. It was the look common people had when they met someone from the royal family. The look she tried to get away from, it held all those unsaid expectations she didn't know if she could meet.</p><p>Lincolne broke the silence by leaning over the table and in menacing voice speaking to Charlie. “If I find out you told anyone, this will be your end.”</p><p>Lexa didn't like this part, but it was what they agreed on. “We will drive you back to your district, drop you off, You will not try to find this place again or tell anyone about it.” Lincoln continued. “Swear to us and be prepared to bear the consequences.”</p><p>“I swear on my life.”</p><p>Lexa felt a small waiver of doubt. He swore.<em> Doesn't mean you can trust him, Lexa. </em> Clarke’s voice whispered to her. Lexa pushed it away.</p><p>“Good. Let's get you on your way.” Lincoln said. </p><p> </p><p>~~~~~~~</p><p>Charlie was still incredibly nervous as they drove him back to the friend he was supposed to be staying with. Lexa wasn’t sure what to say to calm him down, she was never good with people. But as she was the one sitting in the back with him she felt like it was her duty to say something. “Its going to be okay,” she told him. “You’ll be able to deal with the terrors now.” Charlie nodded. “I’ve been taking things before to make the terrors go away, my friend said it would work. And it did for a while but it only made things worse after a while.” he whispered quietly. Lexa thought back to her time at the temple, taking any sort of suppressants was only a crutch not a cure. “You won’t need any medication now.” She said encouragingly and failed to notice the confused look Charlie gave her. “You should be fine just doing the exercises.”</p><p>The boy nodded again this time even faster. “Thank you. It’s amazing, I just don’t know what I’m going to do now. I’ve lost everything…” his voice trailed off. Lexa noticed his hands were trembling still, it must’ve only been nerves, because she cleared him off any effects the terrors might physically have on him. She regretted that she didn't stay longer at the temple, they would have taught her more about the recovery proces than the minimum she knew now. </p><p>“Well what do you want to do with your life?”</p><p>“I don’t know. Like get a good job so I’ll have money and stuff. And there is this girl.”</p><p>“A girl?”</p><p>“Yeah her name is Kya, she’s. We’ve known each other most of our lives. I think I want her in my future. Like more than as a friend.” He paused. “Sorry, you don’t want to hear about that.”</p><p>Lexa smiled. “No its okay. Tell me about Kya.”</p><p>They chatted until it was time to say goodbye. Lexa felt much more comfortable trusting Charlie now. He was a sweet guy who was dealt a bad hand in life and now he was excited to start over. Lexa wished him the best and she gave him a few hundred credits so he had something to tie him over while he looked for a job. Lincoln threatened Charlie once again just to make sure before they let him go.</p><p>“I feel good about this.” Lexa told Lincoln on the way back home. “We gave him a fresh start.” </p><p>“He did seem like a good kid.” Lincoln admitted begrudgingly. </p><p> </p><p>~~~oOoOo~~~  </p><p>When they returned from Atom’s the other’s had already left to finish their own tasks necessary for the heist. So Clarke and Murphy had to wait until<em> family diner </em>to share the news of the bounty hunter being in town, and that he was in fact after Clarke. It sparked a live discussion about what to do about the problem.</p><p>“We have to speed up the plan and move everything if there's a single chance Bester could track us here.” Emori insisted.</p><p>“He’s got nothing. He will take longer than a week to track us here and by then we’ll be off world on our very own ship!” Murphy argued.</p><p>Octavia was the only one still out while this discussion took place and as soon as she walked through the door she was being informed about it all loudly and by all. However she waved everyone off. “I’ve heard, I got Clarke’s message to keep a low profile. But I think that we might have a different problem.” She said while she joined the  table and started to load her plate with Murphy’s chicken ragu.</p><p>“What is the matter?” Clarke asked.</p><p>“There’s a talk about an unregistered nightblood in town.” All eyes automatically briefly shifted to Madi who in turn froze in her place.</p><p>“Its not-” Clarke started and Octavia <em>—</em> following her look in Madi's direction <em>—</em> answered before she could finish. “No.” Octavia said quickly. Clarke released a breath she's been holding, the last thing they needed on their hands now was to have bunch of blood drainers after them as well. However the brief relief that Clarke felt instantly vanished with Octavia’s next statement. “But I think it might be Lincoln's friend.”</p><p>Clarke nearly choked. “What?”</p><p>“I overheard a guy talking about some kid that got healed from space madness overnight, for free and by a young girl no less. And last night at Lincoln's, that Lesa girl.”</p><p>“It's Lexa.” Clarke and Madi spoke at the same time.</p><p>Octavia shrugged. “Anyway, I pressed them for a bit more information. It sure sounds like it’s her.”</p><p>Clarke shook her head, Octavia wasn't there the day before; when Madi came back and told her about Lexa’s mugging and then her stupid decision to bring in the stranger to her home and even so Octavia was able to connect it all before Clarke did. Lexa was a nightblood. As soon as she really thought about it it made so much sense. Of course she was a nightblood! How fucking stupid could Clarke be for not realizing it earlier? Although, In her defense; a nightblood traveling alone on the edge of civilized space was unbelievably stupid concept. No one in their right mind would do such a thing. </p><p>“If it is her, the word is going to spread quickly, Clarke.” Octavia warned.</p><p>“Whoever it is — she’s dead.” Murphy said and shrugged. “It's hardly a problem for us, though.”</p><p>Emori nodded somberly. Clarke remained motionless, trying to clear out a path of reason out of the emotions she was feeling. Pushing down the need to punch Murphy in his face for declaring Lexa not worth saving just like that. That was their motto after all always looking out for their own, risking lives and freedom for each other. But that was it; they didn't stick their necks out for people on the outside.</p><p> “Its going to take a while for the word to spread to the wrong people and for them to track her down.” Octavia thought out loud.  “We could still leave a message for Lincoln after the heist, warn him to run or hide his friend.”</p><p>“Oh sure let's call the guy we just helped rob. He’ll be happy to hear from us!” Murphy mocked. </p><p>“We’re not stealing from him! We’re stealing from the museum which is funded by the Coalition! He’s not technically losing anything.” Octavia argued. </p><p>Murphy scoffed at that. “You realize you’re only fake dating him right? Are you actually fucking him?”</p><p>“Shut the fuck up, Murphy!”</p><p>“Hey, if you-”</p><p>“We can’t let Lexa get hurt for being a nightblood!” Madi’s words cut over the brewing argument, effectively waking Clarke from her trans like a shot to the chest. Madi was shaking. “She’s.. If she’s a nightblood we have to help her.”</p><p>“Alright let's all calm down.” Emori cut in. “We don't even know if it's true, much less if it actually leads to<em> that </em>girl.”</p><p>Clarke knew with a certainty that it was Lexa, how could it not be Lexa? Right after Lexa helped out some kid from the streets?</p><p>“But if it is her, we’ll help?” Madi asked. </p><p>“Sure,” Clarke said, reaching over to squeeze Madi’s shoulder gently. “I'll go check out this <em>magically healed</em> kid, the word couldn't have gotten far if he only showed up today.”</p><p>A disaproving sound came from Murphy's throat. “You shouldn't be going anywhere. Or have you forgotten this morning already?” </p><p>Clarke rolled her eyes. “Oh come on what are the odds of running into the same bounty hunter twice in one day?” </p><p>Her question elicited an angry mutter from Murphy “With your dumb luck; they're fucking astronomical.” </p><p>“You really shouldn't be going out right now captain…” Emori joined in, agreeing with her husband, like a traitor. “Its too risky, and for what? A girl we don’t know and who only has herself to blame for trusting street rats?”</p><p>That was a very good point and Clarke struggled to find a reason to justify going against it. When come up with one she opted for plan B.</p><p>“Alright here’s the deal, you lot will let me do this, and help me protect Lexa, and in turn I’ll agree to let the little hybrid thingy stay with us.” That put a stop to the angry litany she was being targeted with.</p><p>“His name is Patches.” Octavia reminded with a grin.</p><p>~~~~~~~</p><p>Clarke was stuck waiting outside in a cold rain while Murphy and Octavia went to a nightclub their target apparently frequented. Her not entering any public place was part of the agreed upon compromise that allow her to leave the Nest without facing an outright mutiny — Her lack of authority was starting to be concerning. </p><p>“Found our guy.” Octavia’s hushed voice came through the earpiece connected to her communicator. “He's as wasted as you'd expect from a place like this, and Murphy heard that he’s been throwing money around, money someone like him has no business to have.”  Clarke frowned, <em> Has he already sold Lexa out? It was only half a day. </em></p><p>“Probably for selling your friend.” Murphy added. “We might be too late.”</p><p>Clarke’s stomach twisted into a tight knot. If Lexa’s location had been compromised, how could she get her away in time without messing with the heist? If Lexa found out who she really was and what she was doing she would freak out and then likely report all the criminal activity to the authorities. Clarke could just picture the wide-eyed look; <em>that’s illegal, Clarke! </em></p><p>Murphy’s voice came through the coms, pulling Clarke out of her thoughts. “Cap’n, you still there? What do we do?”</p><p>“We need to know exactly who he spoke to and what he told them,” Clarke thought out loud. “Can you get him outside without drawing too much attention?”</p><p>There was a moment of silence before a reply came through. “He’s with a girl, I don't suppose you want any witnesses for this?” Octavia asked.</p><p>“No.” Clarke replied.</p><p>“Right, its that kind of night. Give us a minute, Cap.” Octavia said and cut off the communication.</p><p>It was a lot more than a minute before Murphy emerged from the back exit, half leading half dragging the guy along. Clarke shut the door behind them, and placed portable magnetic lock on in to make sure they wouldn't be interrupted. Then she turned to face Murphy, asking  “The friend?” </p><p>Murphy nodded. “Passed out. No trouble. O’s geting the van.” Clarke nodded, everything was going according to the plan then.</p><p>“Hey, what is this?” The guy interrupted them. “Its raining, what are we doing this here? Is she the boss?” he asked, nodding towards Clarke.</p><p>Clarke looked him over, he was young, early twenties, his hands were twitching, he wasn’t just drunk he was high on moon dust. The young junkie continued, obviously growing more irritated and confused with every second. “Warren said you guys were legit!”</p><p>“We’re not Warren’s friends, I lied.” Murphy explained and before the guy could panic and bolt he caught his shoulder and slammed him against the wall hard, pinning him in place. “My friend’s got some questions for you; you’re gonna answer them and then maybe we won’t kill you. Get it?”</p><p>The guy nodded frantically and Murphy let go of him. “If you try to run I’ll shoot ya.” He warned, taping at holster at his side. When it was clear the kid was too frightened to run Clarke stepped forward. “What's your name?”</p><p>“Why? Whats going on?” he asked in a shaky voice. Clarke wouldn’t be surprised if he was crying but it was impossible to tell on account of the rain. </p><p>“Answer me!” </p><p>“Charlie. Please don't hurt me, guys. I don’t got any money, I swear!”</p><p>“That’s not what we heard!” Murphy yelled over the rain. “Word around the street is you’re about to be very rich.” he shoved the guy to the ground. “We don’t like fucking liars.”</p><p>“There's no money. You got the wrong guy swear on the Stars!” Charlie pleaded again.</p><p>Clarke pulled out her own gun, aiming it at his head. “I’m not gonna give you a warning shot.”</p><p>Charlies eyes widened. “Shit, okay I know what you’re talking about,” he cried. “I met this weird chick with like mind powers. She healed my space madness just like that. And like that means her blood is like worth a lot of money. I’ll tell you guys how to get her... for like fifteen grand? What do you say?”</p><p>“You already spoke to people about this?” Clarke asked.</p><p>“No, I mean yes, I mean. I talked about what happen ‘cause like it was a miracle. And my friend Warren he thought like the information could be worth money and he like knows people who would want to know. He was gonna like put us in touch. I thought you were the guy,” he added glancing up at Murphy before looking at the ground.</p><p>“She helped you and now you’re selling her?” Clarke’s voice came out emotionlessly as if she was simply making sure she heard correctly.</p><p>Charlie shook frantically. “She's a miracle, that money is my new start. Just please we can make a deal or I can cut you in... whatever you want.” He dared to glance up between Clarke and Murphy, but was quick to look down on his shoes again in submission.</p><p>Clarke looked at the skinny shivering boy before her. The rain was pouring down over them in a cold rhythm. And she knew that there was only one sure way to keep Lexa’s secret safe.</p><p>“I’m sorry. But she’s not your miracle.” Clarke pulled the trigger.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So this was eventfull. Please comment and tell me what you thought (if you feel like it). Thank you for stopping by!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Dreams</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Clarke and Lexa finally go on a date. That's it that's all the plot there is.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Clarke is simply late. It's nothing to worry about.</em>
</p>
<p>The sentiment would have been much easier to believe, were it not for the fact that the meeting place Clarke had directed Lexa to was the perfect setting for a murder scene or at the very least a kidnapping. Miles of abandoned buildings that had long since fallen into disrepair truly offered a strange sight to see, especially if one considered that Arkadia was a relatively young world. By all accounts the streets Lexa walked should’ve been full of people and cars or at least carriages, instead they were abandoned of any signs of human life and filled with vegetation, which seemed to be determined to take back what was once taken from it.</p>
<p>Lexa supposed that beauty could be found in such a place if one had a romantic nature were it just abandoned but the place also carried a distinct sense of death. Lexa had no idea how many lives the accident which turned the once great district into a graveyard, originally claimed but if the infinity signs of mourning that were carved all along the streets were anything to go by it was a significant number. Lexa could almost feel the death and despair calling out to her from the signs. What possessed Clarke to set such a meeting place? It certainly wasn’t for the easy accessibility. Lexa had to bribe Lincoln’s driver to take her near it and he had her walk the rest of the way to the coordinates.</p>
<p><em> It's a good place for a trap </em>, a small paranoid voice, which she was starting to hear more and more, whispered to her. </p>
<p>She dismissed such thoughts with a silent curse. Clarke wasn’t just some gun for hire that ran the streets and would betray her to the highest bidder. Clarke and her were… well they had a relationship of some kind, they developed a friendship and shared a connection Lexa never experienced before. There was no reason to be suspicious of her. It was just the ery abandoned place messing with her head.</p>
<p>Clarke’s coordinates brought her to some old well in a small square. She was early so she took to reading on the two little steps of the old fountain. Lexa looked up when it was time for their meeting but Clarke was nowhere to be seen. Which was when she told herself the line for the first time. <em>Clarke is simply late… </em>So she waited. Minutes went by and her unease grew. </p>
<p>After an hour since they were supposed to meet passed and no new message from Clarke came and Lexa found it increasingly more difficult to keep her thoughts away from the possible reasons why Clarke wasn’t showing up. </p>
<p>Did she change her mind? Did something happen? Couldn’t she message Lexa to tell her so?</p>
<p>Just when she was ready to give up waiting and head back a low humming of an approaching hovercraft filled her ears. She expected Clarke to arrive in the same beaten up sanitation van she had earlier but was met instead with the sight of Clarke approaching at great speed in a hovercraft that Lexa couldn't place into any category she was familiar with. It reminded her of a cross between racing pots from Achilles and a rusty fishing boat. It was gray with no roof and different colored doors <em> — </em> not in  the designer way but in  the way that suggested that the metal was scavenged from at least three different machines and then beaten into submission by brute force <em> — </em> it actually fit Clarke nicely. </p>
<p>Lexa kept her face impassive as the craft pulled up beside her abruptly, sending a gust of wind that ruffled the few loose hairs around Lexa’s braids. </p>
<p>“You are late.”</p>
<p>“And you are pretty.” Clarke shot back without her smile diming.</p>
<p>Lexa felt warmth spread in her cheeks against her will at the comment. She sent Clarke a stern look. The woman might not know her true status but Lexa still wasn’t willing to be treated like someone who’s time was worthless. </p>
<p>Clarke got the message and her smile turned more apologetic and less infuriating, her blue eyes softening. “I’m sorry about the delay. I couldn't get away fast enough.” Lexa arched her brows making Clarke lift her hands in both a defensive and comical gesture. “Swear to Stars; I ran out as soon as I could.”</p>
<p>Lexa found it difficult to be upset when Clarke looked at her like that, she shook her head. </p>
<p>“Alright. You’ll just have to make it up to me.”</p>
<p>Clarke grinned again, this time with something predatory in her expression. “Oh I will make it up to you. Get in, Lexa”</p>
<p>Lexa stalked to the still floating hovercraft and then paused giving Clarke a questioning look. </p>
<p>“Is this thing even safe to fly?”</p>
<p>Clarke laughed. “Have a little faith.” </p>
<p>Lexa, who had made her decision long before the pitiful machine even appeared, grabbed the edge of the hovercraft without another word and fluently jumped over the side and into the seat. Then she caught Clarke watching her with a slack jaw and wide eyes. </p>
<p>“What is it?” Lexa asked, wondering if she did something wrong. </p>
<p>“Nothing, just didn't expect you to do that, there's a door right over there you know.” Clarke replied with forced nonchalance. Lexa smiled, she might not have had a ton of experience with dating but she did know <em> that </em> look. </p>
<p>“If I was easily predictable I wouldn't be defeating you at chess so often.”</p>
<p>“Oh, you only defeated me so much because I haven’t played in ages.”</p>
<p>“That would imply that your winnings became a regular occurrence after the first time you won… which I do not recall being the case, Clarke.”</p>
<p>“Strange." Clarke said in pretend wonder. "Have you been having memory problems lately?”</p>
<p>“I don't recall any,” Lexa smirked.</p>
<p>“Hmmm very odd.”</p>
<p>“Indeed.”</p>
<p>Lexa wanted nothing more than to lean in and kiss Clarke right then. Judging by the look she received from the other; she wasn't alone. Clarke’s hand reached for her chin, tilting it gently as she leaned in closer. Their lips were only an inch apart when the sneeze from the backseat came, startling them apart. </p>
<p>Lexa’s hand moved to her bag where her dagger was hidden, she did learn her lesson about walking around unarmed. </p>
<p>Clarke already had a gun in her hand pointing it at the back seat. “I have a half a mind to start shooting so come out and don’t try anything that will end with me getting blood on the seats!” </p>
<p>For a second nothing changed, then suddenly the seemingly solid cushion of the back seat lifted; revealing a hidden compartment and a young girl that was rather familiar to Lexa. She watched in shock as Madi climbed out of the hidden space with a sheepish expression. </p>
<p>“What the hell are you doing here?” Clarke asked angrily. Despite the clear annoyance, however, her pose relaxed and she lowered the gun as soon as the girl’s head emerged. Clarke knows the girl, Lexa realized with a pang of something heavy and suspicious settling in her stomach. </p>
<p>Madi looked at her feet intently, mumbling, “I wanted to see where you were going! Nobody would tell me what happened last night. I was worried!”</p>
<p>Clarke ran a hand through her hair mumbling curses, her eyes flickered between Madi and Lexa.</p>
<p>“I said I was going on a personal errand. You can’t violate your ca… my privacy like this, Madi!”</p>
<p>“But I figured you were being weird because it was about Lexa and I was right, you always tell me to go with my gut feeling!”</p>
<p>The sound which tore from Clarke’s throat at that was an impressive cross between a sigh and a groan. “We’ll discuss this later, you can walk home from here.” Just then she reminded Lexa of an exasperated parent or a tutor about to give up on a particularly difficult student. </p>
<p>“Actually I feel like we should discuss at least some of it now.” Lexa spoke up, drawing nervous looks from the two. Clarke looked ready to bolt which Lexa almost found amusing. Madi's expression was similarly alarmed and Lexa’s resolve to drag an explanation out of them no matter what evaporated. She smiled at Madi encouragingly.  “Hello Madi, as unexpected as this reunion is, it's good to see you again.”</p>
<p>Madi beamed at her. “Yeah, you too, Lexa. I’m glad you’re alright!”</p>
<p>A crease formed in Lexa’s forehead. “Why wouldn’t I be alright?” </p>
<p>A beat of silence passed between them when Madi opened her mouth to answer she was cut off by Clarke. </p>
<p>“Because you attract trouble.”</p>
<p>Lexa turned to glare at her. “As true as that might be, that doesn’t explain how do you two know each other?” She motioned between Clarke and Madi. There was no shadow of a doubt in her mind that the little runin with Madi was accidental. </p>
<p>Clarke didn't reply right away and Madi looked away from them, suddenly very interested in the scenery. </p>
<p>“How do you know each other?” Lexa pressed on. </p>
<p>Finally Clarke’s eyes flickered but when her answer came it showed no hesitation. “Madi is family.” </p>
<p>Lexa searched the girls faces for family resemblance, finding none she quirkd her brow.  “She’s your…” </p>
<p>“Daughter.” It was Madi who said it and before Clarke could say anything else she added “Adopted.” </p>
<p>That was an unexpected development. Lexa struggled to picture Clarke taking care of a child. It just didn’t fit at all with the Clarke she knew. </p>
<p>Clarke sighed, looking rather defeated she said “It's a complicated story that I didn't mean to drop in on you like this.” </p>
<p>Madi had the decency to look sheepish. Though, Lexa suspected that the tween was in fact quite satisfied with herself. Nothing was ever how it seemed with these two. </p>
<p>Lexa crossed her arms. “So you had your adoptive daughter follow me?”  It was the only answer that made sense, what were the odds that Clarke’s daughter would just happen to try and prevent Lexa getting mugged in a city of millions. </p>
<p>Clarke looked at her with a bemused smile.“I wanted to be sure you’d be safe.”</p>
<p>“And you thought a ten year old would protect me better than I could protect myself?” Lexa scoffed. </p>
<p>“I'm twelve!” Madi protested but neither of the two adults paid her statement any mind. </p>
<p>“She was only keeping an eye on you in case you got into any serious trouble — I didn't expect you to land yourself into a fight!”</p>
<p>“I can't believe you had me followed! I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself, Clarke.”</p>
<p>Clarke snorted and opened her mouth to say something but instead closed it again. Lexa was torn between wanting to yell at her some more and to the inexplicable urge to kiss her.</p>
<p>Madi spoke up again, this time with the desperation of a kid watching parents fight.  “Don’t be mad at Clarke, she’s real overprotective of everyone she loves. It's really annoying but she doesn't know how else to care.”</p>
<p>Lexa’s mind did a cartwheel at that. “Pardon me?” her voice came out choked but she couldn’t bring herself to care. </p>
<p><em> Love? </em> Surely, Madi was mistaken there. </p>
<p>The girl shrugged. “Raven said it when you yelled at me after the spacewalking.”</p>
<p>“Fucking Raven.” Clarke mumbled under her breath. The name was unfamiliar to Lexa but she was someone close to Clarke from the sound of it. </p>
<p>The realization that they truly knew nothing about each other's lives hit Lexa once again. On the Spectator she came to know (and love) Clarke, a mysterious but capable woman that liked to act disinterested in everything while she actually cared deeply. Lexa learned how her sleep patterns and how she despised being alone after a nightmare, how her mind worked around chess strategies — she liked to lure her opponent to her and then strike — how little the she cared about protocol and of the excitement she found in little victories against systems which she deemed unjust, how her eyes lit up on the rare occasions she actually found something funny. But she had no idea about the people that shaped Clarke’s life, old friends, lovers, adopted children, she never thought to ask. Not that Clarke was likely to volunteer such information, if she did. </p>
<p>She caught Clarke looking at her nervously. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry, this is not what I had in mind when I planned our date.” </p>
<p>“This is a date?” Madi squealed, making Clarke turn at her with a scowl. </p>
<p>“Part of the reason you weren’t invited. It might be canceled now actually.”</p>
<p>Lexa shook her head. She was finding it difficult to be mad at Clarke just when she was about to discover a new side to her. “We are not canceling,” she said softly.</p>
<p>“We aren’t?” Clarke was smirking at her now with obvious delight. </p>
<p>Lexa met her gaze challengingly. “I’m not letting you off that easily.”</p>
<p>Clarke’s smirk turned sharper. “Go home, Madi,” she said, her eyes not leaving Lexa’s. Shiver ran down Lexa’s back at the look she was recieving, for better or for worse she couldn’t wait to be alone with Clarke.</p>
<p>“You’re just going to leave me here? All alone?” Madi cried and Lexa’s heart broke a little for her. Clarke didn’t seem to have any such qualms about the situation. </p>
<p>“You’ll be fine,” she told Madi sternly. </p>
<p>Lexa shook her head. “We should take her back home.” Abandoning a child in a place like this seemed like very bad parenting. Even if Madi wasn’t a child, it would be plainly bad manners to abandon her in such a deserted place, the more Lexa thought about it the less she liked it.</p>
<p>“She won’t have to walk that far.” Clarke assured her before turning to Madi who was pouting. </p>
<p>“But can’t I come along? I thought you said we could do whatever we wanted this afternoon, to get ready for tomorrow…” The earnest sad eyes she made had Lexa wanting to invite her along, Clarke on the other hand looked less impressed by the show of sadness and more annoyed. The adoptive mother rolled her eyes at Madi. </p>
<p>“Stop trying to be cute, I need to talk with Lexa about things privately so go home.” </p>
<p>Madi perked up at that. “You’re going to ask her, aren’t you?” she hushed with sudden excitement.</p>
<p>“Go home, play with the fuzzball you insisted on us keeping. Call Murphy if there’s any trouble,” Clarke instructed her, ignoring the question entirely, to Lexa’s disappointment.  </p>
<p>Madi nodded, the sad puppy eyes suddenly gone without a trace. “Yes, captain!” she grinned and climbed down onto the dirt road  without anything else, only turning back once to wave at Lexa as she dashed off .</p>
<p>“She’ll be fine” Clarke answered Lexa’s unvoiced concern and settled back into her seat. </p>
<p>Lexa had plenty more questions to ask, starting with why haven’t Clarke mentioned having a daughter on Arkadia in the first place. She knew better than to ask them right away, the way Clarke started adjusting the engine in obvious need to get the situation back under control left no doubt in Lexa’s mind that she would lash out if pushed any further. </p>
<p>“Where are we going anyway?” she asked, settling back next to Clarke. </p>
<p>The flash of relief was a clear sign that Lexa’s decision to put Clarke at ease before asking was a right one.  “It's a surprise.” Clarke smiled, confidence slowly returning to her features.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~~~~~~~</p>
<p>They left the city, surprising Lexa when they were cleared to leave the border with a single swipe of a card Clarke produced from her jacket. The spot Clarke picked for their date turned out to be one of the great natural parks; a rocky beach or a great lake, Lexa couldn't take her eyes off of the way the tall trees mirrored in the water. Clarke grabbed a backpack from the hovercraft and bumped Lexa’s side with her hip. “Take a walk with me?”</p>
<p>“I’d love to.”</p>
<p>“Well what do you think?” Clarke asked somewhat anxiously as they made their way on the beach. “I figured I couldn’t compete with all the fancy dates you must’ve gone on on Core planets so I went into another direction.”</p>
<p>“It’s incredible, Clarke.” Lexa smiled. “You worried needlessly about me comparing you to anyone else, I’ve never been taken on a date before.”</p>
<p>The way Clarke’s jaw dropped was almost comical. “You haven’t? But you’ve, the other night it wasn’t your…”</p>
<p>Once the sense of Clarke’s question registered, Lexa threw her head back laughing. “No, Clarke. I just usually was the one arranging dates…”</p>
<p>“Oh.”</p>
<p>“My first was with my best friend, though we didn’t go on any formal dates. So anyway this is a first date I’m on that I didn't plan myself. I rather like it.” she added, daring to reach out and take Clarke’s hand. It felt cold against Lexa’s skin. </p>
<p>“Good.” Clarke laced their fingers together, using her other hand to brush a strand of hair out of Lexa’s face. </p>
<p>She met Clarke halfway, connecting their lips in a chased kiss. With Clarke pulling away far too quickly for her liking. </p>
<p>“We need to focus here, Lexa.” </p>
<p>“We do?”</p>
<p>“Yes. Come on.” She pulled gently at their joined hands, inticing Lexa to follow along the lakeshore. They fell into a comfortable step, sun shined, the air was fresh and the palm in her hand grounded Lexa in a way she wouldn’t expect from such a simple gesture.</p>
<p>The scenery reminded her of a book she read about old Earth and Clarke didn't protest when she started retelling the story to her, only smiling lightly and commenting on what she considered plot holes. Lexa tried to explain how wrong her judgement of the book was and they settled into a comfortable bickering for the next twenty minutes. Eventually Lexa completely forgot they were going somewhere so it took her a moment to process when Clarke stopped them, pointing to birch trees that stood out in comparison to the mostly pine trees that surrounded the lake. </p>
<p>“This is it!” Clarke cheered. Producing a blanket from her backpack she set it up under the trees, Lexa joined her, settling on the small rocks from the shore wasn't as uncomfortable as she would’ve expected. </p>
<p>“What is so special about this place?”  she asked.</p>
<p>“Lie down. Now listen.” Clarke instructed her.</p>
<p>Lexa wasn’t sure what she was supposed to be getting out of the experience, but humoring her date she lied down and closed her eyes, focusing on the surrounding sound. Water gently humming, birds chirping, leaves brushing against each other in the wind. Clarke setled next to her, close enough for their sides to be touching.</p>
<p>The more Lexa listened to it the more aware she became of how melodic the birds sounded, as if they were intentionally matching the clanking of branches to incorporate it into a song. </p>
<p>“What is it?” she whispered, crackin her eyes open to look at Clarke. She didn’t think animals could sound like that. </p>
<p>“The silverish bird over there.” Clarke whispered, pointing to the birch tree, they socialize on these trees for some reason.”</p>
<p>“They can’t be ordinary birds,” Lexa frowned, thinking of how little she knew of the local wildlife. </p>
<p>“Before the conservation laws there were quite a few experiments with hybrids being run out here. Most of them were killed, others were harmless and deemed incapable of reproducing so they just left them alone like the ciri bird over there.”</p>
<p>“How are they still here, if they couldn't reproduce in the past hundred years?”</p>
<p>“Oh they found a way,” Clarke chuckled warmly. “The hybrid ciri started hooking up with some original species and somehow it worked out. Don’t ask me for technicalities, I only know about this because I helped an ornithologist who’s permit was up come here and record them for some paper of her’s. Paid well.” </p>
<p>“Fascinating.” Lexa nodded she would’ve loved to quizz Clarke more on the interesting subject,  but the story brought more pressing questions to mind. She couldn't hide from them anymore. </p>
<p>“So you spend a lot of time on Arkadia.” Lexa started, knowing it might finally bring them to the point where they could no longer enjoy their time together. They were still lying side by side, looking up at the tree branches and the birds Lexa found it easier to ask without making eye contact.</p>
<p>“Yes.” Clarke replied, also without looking at her.</p>
<p>“And your daughter was here waiting for you when you helped me plan my journey.”</p>
<p>“I couldn't risk you rejecting the idea to come here.”</p>
<p>“You used me.” Lexa stated.</p>
<p>“I needed to get on Arkadia. You needed protection, I only slightly manipulated your travel plan to help me get back to my family... “ </p>
<p>“You had no intention of going with me to Polis.”</p>
<p>“You knew that.”</p>
<p>“I did.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry if what I did hurt you.”</p>
<p>Lexa nodded, she believed Clarke did what she thought was right, she never doubted Clarke just tried to do what was best. It was why she would never stay with Lexa, even if she could. Clarke was a comet passing by Lexa’s orbit. The scariest part was how easily she could break her heart and Lexa would thank her for it. </p>
<p>“Tell me about Madi.” She prompted Clarke after a moment of silence, wanting to know more about the woman who held such an odd power over her for seemingly no reason. </p>
<p>Clarke sighed, looking pained. “I can’t.”</p>
<p>Lexa turned to look at Clarke. The question<em> why </em>written clearly on her face. </p>
<p>“Because I don’t want to lie to you. And I can’t share my secrets with you until I know about yours.”</p>
<p>“My secrets?” Lexa asked.</p>
<p>Clarke nodded somberly. “I think it's about time we put our cards on the table, you’re a nightblood, aren’t you?” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>~~~~~~~</p>
<p>Time froze. Lexa’s heart stopped. Clarke was perfectly calm as if they were just discussing the weather.  </p>
<p>Lexa sat up abruptly, ready to fight or flight, “What? Why would you ask me that?”</p>
<p>Clarke chuckled humorlessly. “Actually I think I should’ve asked you that a long time ago. I mean: you recovered so quickly after getting shot, you eat like a minner, you can go whole day without sleep and still look fucking amazing and there’s dangerous people after you. You are a nightblood, Lexa.” It was a statement not a question. </p>
<p>Lexa’s insides turned to ice. She lifted her head up summoning the emotionless face she would wear to the royal hearings. </p>
<p>“If it's so obvious why are you only bringing it up now, Clarke?” her voice came out colder than she intended. Clarke’s eyes flickered away for a moment before returning with something nearing gentleness. </p>
<p>“Because I was too blinded by you being you, that I didn't see it until… Well until last night when I really thought about it.”</p>
<p>Her heart was hammering in her chest as if it was about to burst out. One second. Two seconds. Three seconds. “You can’t tell anyone,” she whispered. </p>
<p>Clarke snorted as if there was something hilarious about the request. </p>
<p>“Clarke,” Lexa protested, slapping the other’s shoulder. Unsure if this was some cruel prank. Despite everything she still felt safe in the other’s presence. Clarke caught her hand intertwining their fingers. Seeing her worry, the laughter died on Clarke’s lips. Lexa knew she shouldn't be looking at them as the touch of their hands alone was already sending little shock waves down her body. </p>
<p>“You don’t have to worry, Lexa.” The blue still eyes sparkled with humor as Clakre leaned in closer to Lexa, making the younger woman feel the heat of her breath as she spoke. “I promised to keep you safe, remember? I won’t tell anyone. It's just. I just thought it was funny that you worry that <em> I </em>'ll be the one to spill your secret.” Clarke chuckled almost hysterically, pulling away from Lexa instead of kissing her. </p>
<p>As if unaware of the almost kiss Clarke’s cocky smile returned. “I'm really not your problem, kid.” Lexa frowned, where was Clarke from a moment ago? This was the same infuriating persona she first encountered at the bar over a month ago. “Your problem is that you are terrible at hiding it, hiding yourself in general.”</p>
<p>“I'm not.” Lexa protested before she could think better of it. Hearing the words out loud made her wince. Realizing how childish they sounded. </p>
<p>Clarke ignored the cry all together. “So now that I realized why you are running,  I decided that maybe I could teach you how to hide.” Her thumb ran small circles in Lexa’s palm, making her far more aware of their connection than such a small gesture should be capable of. </p>
<p>“What do you mean?”</p>
<p>“I could help you fly under the radar, teach you how to stay two steps ahead of whoever is after you, you don’t have to run to Polis, Lexa.”</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“You never told me why you were taking a teaching job at the Rim when you have wealthy relatives on the Core planets or who is chasing you, but I know that you don’t really want to go to Polis.” </p>
<p>“Excuse me?”</p>
<p>“Come on, it's all <em> my ‘duty this’ </em> or <em> ‘I have to get there and meet my uncle’ </em>. You say that but your eyes stay all gloomy. While whenever we talk about things like this nature reservation or even about the dumn caves on Hada that Lincoln was so obsessed with, your eyes lit up every time single time.” Clarke paused letting her words sink in before she continued in a gentle tone. “You don’t want to take some demeaning job in Polis or go to some nightblood temple you’ve been called to or whatever. Don’t you want an adventure?”</p>
<p>The last part especially hit home. Wanting adventure was why Lexa left the temple in the first place. “Clarke, it's more complicated than that.” Lexa couldn't bring herself to say anything more. The way Clarke was looking at her was so full of hope and excitement that Lexa wasn’t sure what to do with it. Clarke continued, ignoring Lexa’s stunned expression. “If there’s one thing I know about it is leaving a comfy life in a cage behind to just be free and if that's what you actually want I can help you stay safe out here.”</p>
<p>Even though she could hear the words Lexa struggled to understand their true meaning. In truth, deep down, in some twisted part of her, layed the crazy thought that she already knew exactly what Clarke was getting at. Still Lexa couldn’t let herself think about that. </p>
<p>“You want to be my bodyguard if I dont go to Polis?” She asked with a carefully neutral tone.</p>
<p> Clarke shook her head with annoyance in response. “No and this is not about me wanting your money. Okay maybe that's why I joined you in the first place but… I “ Clarke stopped mid sentence taking a moment to choose her next words carefully before continuing. “It's dangerous to get attached out here.  And I tried to avoid it but despite my own rules I did come to care about you, Lexa..  And if you really want to go to Polis then; great, I hope you get there safely. But, if you want to stay here for a while longer; travel the universe, see different planets and places, then I’m offering to take you… or you know just teach you how to do it on your own without drawing attention to yourself because I don’t want you to spend your life doing something you don’t actually want to be doing.”</p>
<p>Lexa was overwhelmed by the offer, Clarke wanted Lexa to stay with her. Her previous crush on the woman was nothing compared to the feeling that was overtaking her whole body now. She didn't bother searching for the right words; there were none. Uncaring about her obligations, she lounged at Clarke;  kissing her with the overwhelming passion and necessity of that unvoiced emotion.</p>
<p>Clarke wanted Lexa to stay, she wanted to show her the universe. Lexa let herself get lost in the moment. Let her hands travel Clarke’s body and kiss all the scars she missed the last time she did this with Clarke. Eagerly rid her of her own clothes working in a messy haze. Lexa spared a thought of worry about Clarke seeing her naked in the light of day but as Clarke’s lips traveled down her body all thoughts were pushed back in order to let herself feel the pleasure her more experienced partner was determined to bring her. </p>
<p>They lied curled together on the old blanket. Letting the warmth of sun rays sink into their flesh as they revelled in the afterglow. </p>
<p>Lexa’s fingers were lightly traveling over the scarred tissue on Clarke’s back. There was a lot of them and Lexa wondered what was the story behind each one. She couldn't bring herself to ask when she still felt the weight of Clarke’s proposal hanging over them. </p>
<p>“I really appreciate the offer, Clarke. What you said about, traveling, seeing the universe with you. It sounds like the best dream I could imagine. Unfortunately, it's really not that simple.”</p>
<p>Clarke turned on her side so she could meet her eyes. </p>
<p>“Who is after you?” her tone was serious but still gentle. </p>
<p>Lexa shivered. She didn’t want to lie again, maybe she didn't have to, just this once. Clarke deserved an honest answer. “I don’t know.”</p>
<p>Deep crease formed on Clarke’s forehead. “What do you mean?”</p>
<p>“My family has enemies.” Her words were chosen very carefully and spoken in a soft tone. “It's not. They tracked me down at the... job I took, they killed my... Gustus.” Lexa’s voice almost broke and then she remembered that Clarke would have no idea who he was. “He worked for my family for over two decades. He was like a father to me, in a way. He died protecting me because I wanted to break free from tradition, because I was selfish and wanted to do something I chose to do instead of staying on my path. I have to go back and find out who was responsible for that. I need to show them that their violence accomplished nothing. And I don’t want to risk that you’ll meet the same fate while trying to protect me.” Of course Gustus was’t the only one who died on that ship. A lot more lives have been lost in order to keep Lexa safe, more than she could admit to Clarke.                          </p>
<p> “I understand you wanting to stick it to the people that killed your friend.” Clarke said after a moment of silent contemplation. “But I don’t think that you should abandon all the dreams you have for yourself to do it. You don’t owe anything to those people or to your family.”</p>
<p>Lexa closed her eyes. How could that be true? She owed everything to her people. “I really want to say yes, Clarke.” her voice more full of regret than ever before.</p>
<p>“But you won't.” Clarke finished for her.</p>
<p>“I... Can I think about it?” <em> There is nothing to think about </em> , she chided herself. <em> You can’t just run off. </em>   Still she had trouble to flat out reject the offer as she should.</p>
<p>Clarke smiled at her. “Yes of course, take your time."</p>
<p>Lexa nodded. They fell into an uneasy silence, Lexa wrecked her head for something else to say when Clarke beat her to it. “So your family is really loaded huh?” she asked with a teasing smirk playing on her lips. Reminding Lexa that the offer she was being given would likely be retracted if Clarke realized just how complicated Lexa’s life was.</p>
<p>“In Polis things are mostly about your family’s status, money just comes with it.”</p>
<p>“Wait, if you’re nightblood with family in Polis…. does that mean you're related to the royal family?”</p>
<p>“It's not how that works, Clarke. Nightbloods can be born in any family. The royal line is just the first. ” Lexa explained, trying to make it sound as dismissively as possible. If Clarke found out who she was and rejected her now, it might just kill her. </p>
<p>“What about your family, Clarke?” she asked, hoping to get away from the subject. “All I know is that your father taught you to play chess…” </p>
<p>The warm flesh of Clarke’s back tensed under Lexa’s fingers. A moment of silence passed between them. Lexa cursed herself for asking, she should’ve changed the conversation to something casual so they could bask in the satisfied happiness they shared earlier, not make things even more tense. She was about to tell Clarke to forget it when the other started speaking, voice soft but determined.</p>
<p>“That he did. They were also rich, maybe not quite ‘<em> Polis rich </em>’ but where I grew up they were part of the elite.” Lexa tilted her head in curiosity. She did not expect that and she struggled to picture Clarke being a dutiful daughter in that scenario. Clarke reached for Lexa’s hand, lacing their fingers together as she continued. “I grew up really comfortably, hardly wanting for anything. I was entitled little shit, really. Then I turned seventeen and things got messy. My dad died and I wanted to honor him by joining the army… so that’s what I did as soon as I turned eighteen.” Clarke stopped herself from saying anything more, glancing away from Lexa; there was a strange expression written in her beautiful face. </p>
<p>“What?” Lexa prompted softly.</p>
<p>The smile Clarke flashed her was rather strained. “Long story short; it was a huge mistake.”</p>
<p>“Is that where the scars come from?” Lexa brushed against the long white scar on Clarke’s side.</p>
<p>“Some. Other’s I got later.” Clarke’s eyes sparked with something nearing pride.</p>
<p>“What about this?” Lexa pointed to a spot on Clarke’s thigh where a large scar marked her skin. The shape was rather odd, it reminded Lexa of a drawing of a sun, one bullet sized center with angry uneven lines radiating from it in a pattern that almost mimicked the shape of leaves. It was hauntingly beautiful.</p>
<p>Clarke followed her gesture with her eyes. “Ah yes. That was not a fun one. Impulse arrows — nasty little things, if they get to your skin they’ll try electrocuting you from the inside. I had a body-armor on my chest to keep them from attaching but then one of those suckers went to my leg… If my friend Raven hadn’t disarmed it so quickly I would’ve been a goner.”</p>
<p>Lexa shuddered at the idea of Clarke dying while her faceless friend fruitlessly tried to disable the illegal arrow. If she died that day Lexa would have never met her. Acting on impulse she leaned down to trail kisses over the marking. Clarke let out a shuddered breath at the unexpected touch but relaxed into; letting Lexa kiss over the scarred skin before gently pulling her up for a sweet kiss on the lips. </p>
<p>“I’m thankful you survived.” Lexa whispered once they pulled apart again. It was an odd thing to say, Lexa knew. She expected Clarke to comment about the ridiculous sentiment, she was ready for it, only Clarke remained silent, smiling at her with clear fondness. For some reason it made her more nervous. </p>
<p>“Close calls are common in my line of work. I never really minded. In a way it makes you feel more alive.”</p>
<p>Lexa hummed. “Is sanitation that dangerous?” she teased. </p>
<p>“You have no idea,” Clarke sighed, her fingers were carding through Lexa’s hair now, moving so softly as if it was something precious. “If you run away with me, I’ll make sure to only take safe jobs.” </p>
<p>“You weren't keeping yourself safe before?”</p>
<p>“Not as much as I could’ve. I started off trying to prove something, not really caring if it would kill me.”</p>
<p>“What about Madi?”</p>
<p>“What about her?”</p>
<p>“Well you asked me to run away with you, but how would that even work?”</p>
<p>“Madi would come with us, as would some of my other friends.” Clarke smiled at the confused look Lexa gave her. “Remember how I told you that I used to captain a ship? I might get Titanic back next week,” she looked happier than Lexa had ever seen her as she spoke, her features lit with happiness. “I might need to hire a few new people to get it going again but some of the old crew members are here and ready to help me get it back to the sky.”</p>
<p>“That’s amazing Clarke!” </p>
<p>“Yeah, we finally caught a break. So if you decide to come with us, we can go anywhere we want, take any work that comes our way, be free again.” </p>
<p>Lexa sighed, feeling guilty for not sharing in on the excitement. “I would only bring you trouble, Clarke.”</p>
<p>Her words had little effect. “Maybe I want your trouble.”</p>
<p>Lexa shook her head. “I thought you didn't even like me until I got shot on Deimos. And now you want to risk everything by bringing me along with your crew?”</p>
<p>“Last night, I had a dream. Someone killed you for being a nightblood.” Clarke paused, letting her words sink in before shrugging them off. “It made me realize I didn’t want to live in a world where that happened. Stop making a big deal out of it, it's not like I’m asking you to marry me. I’m just giving you an option to not live a life of boredom in some fancy golden tower.”</p>
<p>“I see.” Lexa hid her smirk into Clarke’s neck, kissing it softly. “You don’t care whether I stay with you or not, you just don’t want me dead, no romance here.” Ending the sentence with a kiss on Clarke’s clavicle. </p>
<p>“I didn’t say no romance.” Clarke captured Lexa’s hands and rolled them over, placing herself on top of Lexa. “If that’s what it takes for you to agree.” </p>
<p>“I can’t promise you anything Clarke. But you are more than welcomed to try to convince me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~~~~~~~</p>
<p>Lexa returned to Lincoln's well past sunset. She was happy and relaxed, feeling more at ease than she had in awhile. Letting herself daydream about saying yes to Clarke’s proposal. Not that she actually would, she couldn’t help but picture what life would be like on a ship with Clarke and Madi, traveling the universe, transporting goods or what was it that Clarke did. Seeing new places and being free with people who cared about her for who she was and not what she represented. </p>
<p>Lincoln was waiting up for her. He was jumping out of his seat as soon as she entered the sitting room. “Finally, Lexa, it worked!” </p>
<p>“What did?” She asked, trying to make sense of the words. </p>
<p>“The message you had me leave for your friend. We got a reply. I think it’s from her at least, it looks like the same code you used!” </p>
<p>Lexa accepted the tablet he handed her looking over the message emotionlessly. </p>
<p>“Well, is it from the general? “ Lincoln prompted.</p>
<p>Lexa nodded, trying and failing to smile at the news. “Yes, it’s Anya.” She was the only one who knew this code. “She’ll be here in three days to pick me up and take me to Polis.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>That's it, thank you all very much for reading. Finishing this chapter is a great personal accomplishement, as I struggled with it for so long... I do hope it was alright to read.  </p>
<p>Next up we'll catch up with Clarke and her heist!</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>For anyone wondering about the world building and the general feel of everything I'd like to point you to the ambiance of the tv show Firefly and its "space cowboy" aesthetic which I stole shamelessly for this fic. If you don't feel like looking it up: It's basically a western Clexa set in space. More information will be revealed in future chapters but feel free to ask questions about it.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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